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Postby midnite » Sun May 18, 2003 11:03 pm

there no one else to tel.
i think i am already hurting my self again.
but he wont notice.
i have cut or 2 on my head,
i dont stop them properly from healing,
so they kinda got bigger, but my hair luckily cover em.

i cant tel him yet, i told him some stuff and he kinda freaked out.
i told other people and now they dont even want to no me.
so i have no one else to tel.

i was going to tell him till he said he love me,
because i never believed any one would,
and this i no will change it, which i dont want.
so now i cant tell him becasue i sure he beshamed of me,
besides today he has an accident where he cut his stomach, leg and arm,
and 2 weeks ago he hurt his leg.

so how cant i tel him, i am to worried what else going to happen to him.
as i think he become accident prone.
i dont want to stress him as he in a lot of pain due to these accidents.
plus i not sure if i have the guts.
as he freak out the last to times
and my friends dont want to no becasue i told them.
midnite
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Postby midnite » Wed May 21, 2003 9:26 pm

wel i moving home soon,
fresh start.
hope it helps me
midnite
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Postby Wasted » Thu Jun 12, 2003 9:45 am

isnt it weird how you think you are the only one to feel this bad, ive had a very similar situation and feel life isnt worth all this pain, your message has opened my eyes to the fact other people are going through hell aswell. i have an abusive childhood, sexually, physically and mentally - i have to say the mental abuse lasted longest and i still live with it every day - im on antidepressants see councellors have no friends and spend most of my time alone - i suppose being an outsider it all very easy for me to say keep your chin up but i know its very hard trying to find reasons why you should - all i can say is you were not given any choice in how you were treated when you were young it was all those other people who should be feeling bad about themselves - accept you couldnt have done anything at the time as you didnt have the resources but now you are older you have choices - the first step is to feel you are worth the effort and important enough to be happy and not take jelly - the only way is to start re-teching yourself - re-train your thinking - be around people who are positive - i know it all seems so obvious - but your thought are learned so you can un learn them - please be strong you are not on your own.
stay cool!!!
Wasted
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Postby midnite » Fri Jun 13, 2003 1:52 pm

thanks 4 the advice.
i guess my main fear is being hurt again.
and the fact i can never make friends.
but i guess that going to take time.
as i find it hard to trust people and let them get close to me.
when i do thay dont wanta no.

i moved home.
even my new doc dont want a know me.
so i wish i could be around people who were posative.
i not totatlly on what to do but i dont feel so bad.
thanks for ur advice.
nadene hunt.
and every body else.
midnite
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