"Recently things have just been getting worse and worse

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"Recently things have just been getting worse and worse

Postby Sami » Tue May 06, 2003 6:15 pm

Hey , again,
I'm not sure if this is the rite place to post this so sorry if it isnt.
I'm really stuckk at the minute. I really need to talk to someone cause I feel like my past is coming back to get me and the futures nearly there. I've been through a lot but I'm only really starting to realise the reality and deal with it all now. I can't talk to my parents bout it cause they are part of the problem and they are biased. I no who i want to talk to but ive gone about it all wrong before and scared them away. Recently things have just been getting worse and worse and my friends are gettin worried too cause I have really bad moodswings and end up bein really down.
Anyway, does anyone have any ideas on how to approach this person and wot to say cause i need to but how???? I had thought of one way which means i can't be ignored and ive come close to it loads of times, just breakin down into tears... I cry myself to sleep every nite but even if im wailing inside i can never seem to cry in front of ppl. If i ever have an argument no matter how badly im hurt (physically or emotionally) i always walk away with my head held high but as soon as i get on my own i burst into floods of tears. Does anyone have any ideas on how to let it all out and just let myself cry? :cry: :cry: :cry:

Thanx.

P.S. I'm a Christian and I feel that God is telling me to do this, he keeps giving me all these signs and i can't go on like this. I'm also worried my parents will find out cause i cant talk to them , they dont know or understand me and they always gang up. :oops:
Everybody has their day, When things just seem 2 go their way, An angel's gonna smile on me when it's meant 2 b, Cos anythings possible, No matter how incredible, U never no hu i mite meet, On this crowded street! Life goes on,Like a song! :bounce:
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Postby Aldo » Tue May 06, 2003 10:51 pm

Hi Sami, you sound a bit like me. You have problems but you would rather bottle them in and not allow others to know about them. You want to remain strong and not seem weak by exposing your problems. These problems although can be best shared could also lead to them being a leverage for others to use against you. Thats how I feel anyways. I know, I want to cry but I can't, I won't cry in front of my friends or anyone.

The step is up to you, this person you want to talk to, you need to just take that risk. We don't know what the problem is so I can't say what to do exactly...or maybe there is no right way. However I understand where you're coming from. Your proud and yet inside your fragile and I guess you just want someone to hold you and say everything will be alright.

If you believe God is giving you signs then maybe you should bring up the courage. Maybe your parents will be more co-operative than you think, although its hard to imagine, but the more you dwell on it and think of the negatives it will get so much harder.

All the best.
If you dont ask you will never know
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Postby Mirabella » Wed May 07, 2003 7:14 pm

I know exactly what you're going through. Around christmas time I started acting weird, and it was scary because I didn't know why. I would forget what i was talking about in the middle of a sentence or turn up at the wrong place on the completely wrong day. I started getting paranoid that all the people around me were completely fake, and despite the fact that I was a popular, pretty girl, I started having all these self image issues. By about March time this year I had went from being a size ten to a size six, and my face was always so pale. I hardly slept because I kept having disturbing dreams, and I stopped eating because I saw it as an indication that I was indulging myself, which I didn't want to do. My parents and I aren't very close either, and whatever views they had on what I was going through -because it must have been so obvious to them- they kept to themselves. Now, I know this will probably sound strange, but if you and your parents aren't close, you need to get through this without them. For me it happened when it was snowing one time and I was sitting on a park bench, crying desperately, and I saw a shooting star. It sounds stupid, but it gave me hope, you know. I just started laughing, thinking how this was going to be a beginning for something completely new. Things started to get better for me when a guy I hardly knew at the time pulled me aside in the school library and asked if we could talk, because he'd been concerned about me lately. I burst into tears before I even got a chance to sit down, and that was the first time I ever cried in front of somebody. We talked for at least an hour, and it seemed so strange that I was already so close to this guy I'd talked to perhaps once or twice in my life. It's about three months later now and I'm doing pretty good. I'm a size eight, and i'm not so tired anymore because I've been able to sleep better. I've been going out with the guy since that day, and i've built myself a completely new life with him. I think what I needed most was a change, and maybe that's what you need too. I'm not saying some guy will come up to you and you'll hit it off for sure or anything, but for me it was such a release to finally talk to somebody, anybody. You should DEFINITELY approach this guy and try and get to know him a little better, even if you don't end up talking about what's going on with you, you can still enjoy his company. If you think that your relationship with your parents is strong enough to salvage you should definitely give it a go. I'm working on that now and I'm a lot happier.
I wish you all the luck in the world
Mirabella xx
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