emotional wreck

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emotional wreck

Postby rockingallnightlong » Sun Jan 11, 2009 7:48 pm

all my life iv been put down and critisised. im 14 and have really low self esteem. i have been talking to friends and one of them says that i always think negative and i dwell on things that have gone wrong in the past. he says im never myself and try to be like someone else, the truth is, i dont know what im like when im myself, and i always see the bad side of things. with some situations, such as relationships, i thought about just not bothering with them completly cos all my past ones have been so bad and ive never been sucsesful in them. i dont know what i should do to sort myself out. can anyone help?
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Re: emotional wreck

Postby m_m » Mon Jan 12, 2009 11:34 am

I've had to remove this post due to identity issues, I hope that is not a problem x
Last edited by m_m on Wed Oct 07, 2009 11:20 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: emotional wreck

Postby Bel Bel » Mon Jan 12, 2009 1:21 pm

i think that is great advice from manufacture me
if you have low self esteem you really need to work on that before being in relationships as people with low self esteem often attract the wrong sort of people, and then end up having bad relationships. you have to get to the point where you beleive you are worth more than putting up with bad behaviour or bad boyfriends
as well as the list of things you are happy and grateful for write a list of all the good things about you read it every day and add more things to the list as you think of them
you have to beleive you are worth more than you do now. Try to build on reminding yourself or all the good things about you and this will hopefully help to turn your negative thoughts around
as manufacture me says you will always be suseptible to being negative but you have to work at not being like it so much so it doesn't interfere with your life. My husband is the same and I am totally the opposite so i constantly am the voice reminding him of all the good stuff. your list will be the thing that starts your day on the positive note and hopefully you can carry that good felling through the day with you
you will still have your bad days but don't let that stop you trying to get back to being positive as soon as you can
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Postby morris mouse » Mon Jan 12, 2009 4:19 pm

"the glass is half empty" types and to be honest there isn't much you can do to change the fact that it is built into you and will always be part of who you are.

Yes,it would seem,with some people in life,it will always be they are people who mostly have negative
things that happen to them,which in turn,causes low self-esteem :(

I would go along with the fact,that,it's much better to focus on the positive things in life (after all,there's ALWAYS
something to look forward to.)

"rockingallnightlong" I wish you all the best for the future,and hope,that this is a very positive year for you. :)
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Re: emotional wreck

Postby Evi » Thu Mar 12, 2009 12:00 am

To me, you sound like most 14 year olds! It is, I think, a truly horrible age-with everything teenagers go thru, it's hard not to feel like rubbish when you're 14.
However, that doesn't mean it should stay that way. Everything you said in your post makes me think counselling would be a really good idea for you: That could help you come to terms with your past and move on from it, so you wouldn't have to keep going back to it all the time; you could explore who you really are, and what you really think and feel, and learn to trust yourself, and gain confidence in yourself and in your ability at relationsips (PLEASE don't give up on relationships at 14-that would be so sad!). Try to identify things that you enjoy doing, which lift your mood (I'm not talking alcohol or drugs here btw! I mean like hobbies; sports, cinema, going out with friends; etc). Also, this is just from my ow experience, try not to be on your own too much-I find that it's when you are with other people that it's easiest to find out who you really are: Other people make you think, make you feel things, and when you're with people, things happen that you naturally have feelings and/or opinions about-it's difficult to know yourself if you spend too much time alone, I think.
If you have low self esteem, it's important to look after yourself: don't go down the route of punishing yourself by hurting yourself, or try to make yourself feel better with drugs, etc. This may well make you feel better initially, but will soon turn into a massive problem of it;s own, and make everthing much, much worse. Instead, make sure you treat yourself sometimes, don't be too hard on yourself or take responsibility for things that are not your fault or when things don't work out, as many people with low self esteem do. You said you are quite a negative thinker-whenever you catch yourself thinking negatively, why not make a list of all the positive things about the situation you are thinking negatively about? Negative thinking can be a habot, as well as a sign that you are feeling low, but one aggravates the other, so try to make positive thinking your habit instead. Also, think about all the people in your life-family, firends, teachers, neighbours, etc-and how each of them can help to support you and help you feel better. I think it's important to make use of the people around us (I don't mean that in a cynical way-most good people in your life should be happy to hel you!) Everyone can help in their own way-maybe you have one friend you can make you laugh, another who is a good listener, another whose shoulder you can cry on, and so on.
Hope this helps a bit; If I think of anthing else il let you know! Good luck with being 14-I hated it, too! xxxx
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