i just cut myself

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i just cut myself

Postby dreamcatchme » Sun Feb 22, 2009 12:57 am

for the first time in over a year
i feel like ive opened a door. like now i've finally brought myself to do it again, ill use it more and more often as a way of coping until it takes over me again.
i sound stupid.
i dont know what to say.
i really want to cut more. i don't have many friends anymore, not people i can talk to when i feel like this.
this is my only fallback.
i dont know what i want people to say. i dont wanna be this way again, but seeing the blood come out of, now its dreid on my hands, idk it makes me feel better. i dont think its a control tihng. but when i cut i feel like nothing else matters. i dont suppose its too bad to hurt myself. better than hurting others. and i dont go to deep., i wont take it too far. i know what im doing. been doing this for 5 years and only been to hospital 3 times. not been seriously hurt yet. i dont actuallyknow if i wanna stop now. i kinda like it. i just dont like having to cover up the scars, but in the words of the dresden dolls "the ugly marks are worth the momentary gain".
i dont know why im tyoing this. i think i said that before. i dont know.
maybe posting this on some board will make me feel better.
i sound stupid. said that before too.
this isnt even a problem i dont know why im guna post it.
anyone wanna talk, keep me company?
thanks.
sand sorry for sounding so stupidly emo.
"Look at everything as if you were seeing it for the first time."
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Re: i just cut myself

Postby miaow » Sun Feb 22, 2009 9:26 pm

Why have you not cut for a year but then you have now? There must be a reason? I don't think you do want to cut yourself anymore, and I hope you can find someone to talk to. Unfortunately I have no idea where to start or what to say but feel free to pm me anytime.
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Re: i just cut myself

Postby nuttynikki22 » Sun Mar 08, 2009 10:43 pm

Hey there

i have done this to myslef before last year i was going thou a very bad time in my life and i think everything just took over me and i ended up harmuing myslef, for me seeing the blood was lettin my hurt out and by me hurting me noone eles could do, i do understand how your feeling, i have stopped now, got my life back, and as much as things have got on top me of i havent done it yet i alwayus look back at my scars on my arms and legs i think im stronger now, do you know why you started again? has something happend thats made you feel like you got to do it? i think your writting on here for help as you dont want to do it no more but dont know how to stop!! if you need someone to talk to am always up for a talk esp if i can help someone goin though a bad time. good luck take care of yourslef x :)
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