Internal battles re: weight!!

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Internal battles re: weight!!

Postby stressball » Sun Mar 08, 2009 1:11 pm

Hi everyone, I know this is going to be a long post so dont read if u dont have the energy, i just need to get this off my chest!!! I've probably posted about this before, so apologies!

Basically I've got real issues regarding my weight and how it looks on me - at the moment I'm almost 12 stone which is overweight for my 5"5 height according to BMI charts/my doctor/reports etc. I've always had issues with my looks since i was about 10 which long story short my weight yo-yoed throughout my teens, always thinking i was fat and ugly compared to my family friends when i realise in reality i wasnt that bad. I am now 22 and get so annoyed at myself for thinking that way when actually i was a normal weight, and not as fat as i thought i was in my head.

Well every so often I vow to go on a diet and actually do something about my weight, this is ok for a few days maybe even a week but then i lose motivation and just eat whatever i want, thinking there are more important things in life to worry about which in turn leads me back to my depressed way of thinking,as a reminder of my weight rears its head which makes me want to lose weight and so the cycle begins again, this has been happening for years.

I know I am not the healthiest person in the world (i dont eat fruit or vegetables but take supplements) although i do walk to work and back every day which takes an hour both ways, (although this is not through choice because i havent learnt to drive. I'm sure i would be lazy if i could drive though!!)

Basically I want to know if anyone is going through the same thing i am so SICK of feeling this way, when i know there are far more important things to worry about, and that i'm sure my boyfriend is so sick of hearing the same thing over and over again, and theres only so much he can say to comfort me!

I know this girl and she is quite overweight, although she is so happy,has a good boyfriend and has guys after her all the time, always looks great but doesnt care about her weight, or at least doesnt show it- i just think "why cant i be like that???" but then i realise she probably will incur some health issues in the future if not now, its just the confidence i want!!

Another thing to add, why do people judge others according to their weight?? i know when i was in my teens when i just lost weight i had more attention from men (unwanted i might add!) and people act so differently around you - even people serving you in shops, i know its a human thing and we cant help it, but it really annoys me, i think subconsciously thats part of my problem, i know i am a pushover as a person generally, and wanted to please people is part of that, im wondering is this why i want to be thin???

Sorry this is so long im fed up with it, fed up with feeling like this when its so insignificant compared to other peoples problems, i just dont know how to deal with it, i get a headache sometimes coz im having an internal battle with myself!

Argh!!!!!!!!!! :(
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Re: Internal battles re: weight!!

Postby rufio89 » Mon Mar 09, 2009 9:50 am

Lets put your weight aside anyway, because tbh I dont think much of the BMI scales, especially for women (think how heavy big boobs can be!), but if you're not eating fruit and veg you really need to change that. It's really not good for you to take too many supplements and you really cant replace the real thing with tablets. You need to change your diet, and improve your health, and i know it sounds like a cliche, but if you eat better, you'll feel better about yourself.
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Re: Internal battles re: weight!!

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Mon Mar 09, 2009 10:36 am

stressball wrote:Another thing to add, why do people judge others according to their weight??


People don’t actually; you just think they do! I think you maybe judge people based on their weight!

Start eating fruit and veg. When you go shopping don't buy the unhealty stuff like, biscuits, crisps, cheese, chocolate etc. That way you can't eat them. If you aren't prepared to help yourself and eat fruit and veg then no one else will ever get through to you.

Make yourself a packed-lunch for work everyday that way you won't be so tempted to buy loads of junk for your dinner.
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Re: Internal battles re: weight!!

Postby Bel Bel » Mon Mar 09, 2009 12:32 pm

read paul mckenna i can make you thin and listen to the cd every night, it will help change your thinking about food
you definately sound like an emotional eater rather than having any physical problem and this book/cd will give you practical ways to help yourself with those emotional cravings
E bay or amazon would be worth checking out for cheap copies (make sure the cd is included)
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Re: Internal battles re: weight!!

Postby stressball » Tue Mar 10, 2009 7:08 pm

Thanks everyone for your replies :)

Hi rufio89 - the BMI thing i can ignore, especially as my boyf is obese according to these charts but doesnt have an ounce of fat on him!!!!! But i do agree with the fruit and veg stuff - altho i dont really like the taste of anything in this category, any suggestions? Otherwise I'm all for eating it :)

Hi dipsydoodlenoodle - in regards to your reply about people not judging others according to weight - i think i proved this when i said in my post people treated me differently when i lost the weight - surely this is proved everyday when some thin woman is walking down the street and she gets whistled at...a fat girl would probably get jeered at or bullied, at least i have seen this on many occasions!! I am prepared to help myself I dont drink, i dont snack in the evenings and i limit my fastfood intake so i think im doing ok so far?? I do make myself a packed lunch every day and always have breakfast!

Hi Belbel, in regards to Paul McKennas thin book etc - i tried this for a month, doing the journal listening to the CD, reading the book, it personally did not work for me, although i think i was in the 30% minority, because it seems to work for others :(

Thanks to all for your replies though x
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Re: Internal battles re: weight!!

Postby rufio89 » Tue Mar 10, 2009 9:04 pm

you dont like the taste of ANY fruit and veg?

I find people who arent GENERALLY fruit and veg fans like some of the following:

Carrot Sticks
Sweet Potato
Grapes
Strawberries
Roasted Peppers
Garlic Mushrooms
Juice

My way of losing weight (I've lost about 6lbs since xmas, so not dramatic, but I havent felt like I was dieting either) is to stop eating at the point I feel full, even if I have food left on my plate. To have healthy snacks throughout the day (and if I fancy having something unhealthy, I'm having crisps instead of chocoalte, because at least crisps are filling).

I also find if i have a proper breakfast I dont eat so much - my current favourite is pancakes with strawberries and creme fraiche.
Then for lunch I have a sandwich (or wrap or bagel), a low fat yogurt, a small bag of crisps, a snack sized chocolate bar, and 2 little satsumas (or something similar).

I AM a big fan of veg, but I've found it really hard to wean myself onto fruit. Do you like salad at all? Dont forget salad on it's own can be very bland, but if you find a dressing you really like, then it makes it lovely, and you can always have bacon bits or something on top to naughty it up a bit :)
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Re: Internal battles re: weight!!

Postby Evi » Wed Mar 11, 2009 12:12 am

Hi Stressball
Love the username!
You sound very much like me-I always wanted to be thin, and spent my teens thinking I was too fat, when, looking back, I wasn't. There was a girl at school who always used to look at what I ate at lunch and roll her eyes-I always thought she thought I was eating too much, but a couple of weeks ago she told me she had actually been rolling her eyes because she thought I was eating too little-and really healthily! And I'd always rememberred it and been paranoid about it-the point of the story being, it may seem that people are judging you on your weight or what you are or are not eating, but remember, things often are not at all what they seem.
It sounds to me like you're stuck in a rut of negative, depressed thinking-maybe you need a confidence and self-esteem boost, and to change your thinking patterns. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is a very effective way to do this, and if you can think positively, chances are you wll be a lot more successful in your attempts to lose weight. There are a lot of very good books in shops that help you do this, or your GP might be able to refer you for a course of treatment, as you do sound quite depressed (though of course that's just my interpretation). You could also get help from a dietician to lose weight. Joining a weight loss group is meant to help in your success, too, and that would provide what sounds like a much needed morale boost, and support, as well.
As well as all this, exercise and healthy eating is all very much in the media at the moment- it is easier now than ever, I think, to pick up tips about healthy eating, calorie burning, and weight loss, all the time. Ultimately though, I think the key to weight loss is self discipline!

Hope I helped; good luck! xxx
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Re: Internal battles re: weight!!

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Wed Mar 11, 2009 9:54 am

stressball wrote:Hi dipsydoodlenoodle - in regards to your reply about people not judging others according to weight - i think i proved this when i said in my post people treated me differently when i lost the weight - surely this is proved everyday when some thin woman is walking down the street and she gets whistled at...a fat girl would probably get jeered at or bullied, at least i have seen this on many occasions!!


Do you really want some greasy pervy guy whistling at you in the street? I certainly wouldn't - the nice guys just don't do that.

I was out with some friends the other week enjoying a girly weekend and some greasy pervy guy came over grabbed my bum and then when I turned around to "glare" at him he called me a lesbian becaue I wasn't interested in a one night stand with him. Now I mean just because some greasy pervy guy "showed" me attention doesn't mean it is good. I'd have rather not recieved the attention.
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Re: Internal battles re: weight!!

Postby Bel Bel » Wed Mar 11, 2009 12:24 pm

be careful of furit juices and smoothies as some are packed with sugar and calories, Read the packets but these are a great way of taking in fruit if you don't like it
Have you honestly tried all veg and fruit and don't like any at all?
Try covering something mild tasting with a sauce ( a low fat one of course)
You say you walk to work but is it a brisk walk or a dawdle.
If you are eating less than 1500 calories a day and struggling to lose weight your are going to have to excercise a lot more - cardiovascular, so things that make you breath hard and sweat.
Also have you had your thyroid checked
Unfortunatley some people will judge others by their appereance but they are as likely to bully an anorexic as a fat person
Last edited by Bel Bel on Fri Mar 13, 2009 5:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Internal battles re: weight!!

Postby stressball » Thu Mar 12, 2009 9:54 pm

Hi Rufio89,

I dont like veg or salad, i have really tried to like it, but it just makes me heave!! Fruit I suppose I can deal with, yesterday i went out and bought some nectarines and peaches, and ate them today...they certainly aren't as bad as veg! :) Strawberries I like although they arent in season yet so I guess I'll have to wait for those!

Your idea about stopping when you are full is also a good idea, i think eating too fast is part of the problem so i dont feel full when i should!! I'll definately try that one! Thanks for your tips.

Hi Evi,

Thanks for the username compliment, hehe :D im glad someone else was in a situation like mine, i just dont want to waste any more time thinking i was fat when i should have just enjoyed myself! I do need to change my thinking patterns - I assume Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is expensive? Also i wouldnt want to burden my GP with a problem as silly as this, im sure he'd tell me to snap out of it and get on with it, which is what i want to do!! And I know exercise and eating healthily are the key points to losing weight, although it's more a question of do i want to do it or do i NEED to do it? Am i just in the rut of thinking i am when I'm not? or is it getting to the stage where it could seriously affect my health? Lol all these questions I cant answer lol!! But thanks for your advice, it was really appreciated :D
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Re: Internal battles re: weight!!

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Fri Mar 13, 2009 10:46 am

Another tip for you is to go shopping when you are full and not hungry - you wil pick up less of the unhealthy stuff that way. Also if you do eat a lot of unhealthy foods try and cut them down to once a week or once a fortnight as a treat - then you can still eat them and you aren't cutting them out all together.
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Re: Internal battles re: weight!!

Postby stressball » Sun Mar 15, 2009 9:26 pm

That's great advice dipsydoodlenoodle, ill try that x
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Re: Internal battles re: weight!!

Postby LME79 » Mon Mar 16, 2009 12:21 am

Do you know anyone else that feels the same way you do (whether in real life or forumwise etc) - if so, how about becoming slimming buddies? It's a great way to stay motivated :)

I've put on a bit of weight recently due to stress - I was eating rubbish and going home instead of the gym but I found a slimming buddy and it's really helped me so far. There may be someone that you know, someone on here or someone on a slimming/fitness forum that may be willing to pair up.

Good luck!
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Re: Internal battles re: weight!!

Postby stressball » Mon Mar 16, 2009 9:35 pm

Hey lilmissespana,

thats good advice, i dont know anyone who feels the same way, although i suppose getting out more might enable me to meet some people and perhaps find someone that way? I'll have to ask around :) x
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Re: Internal battles re: weight!!

Postby DeadAlready » Mon Apr 13, 2009 10:34 pm

Hey Stressball,

Last year I was fourteen stone at 5 foot 2. I would sweat when I walked, be out of breath walking for my bus and spend a lot of my time during the day lifting my hand to my mouth. BMI charts in my eyes just ain't that accurate, so long as you are a generally healthy weight for your height and not doing your body damage by your eating habbits you're on the right track.

I hated water, it tasted too cold and horribly plain, I wanted my full fat cherry co-ca-cola, or Irn bru! Fruit? Pah! What was the point in fruit, the thought of fruit and veg totally turned me off.

But, you can re-train and educate your body. Changing eating patterns of a life time can be done. Dont try to change everything at once and overload yourself into giving up. Ease into it, start with fresher meals, maybe try some diluting juice? Going for a walk at the weekend instead of watching the Hollyoaks omnibus? Cutting out chocolate through the week and treating yourself on a friday or saturday night and looking forward to that naughty splurge day?

It can be done! I have before and after pictures you wouldnt believe I'm the same girl!

Let me know how you're doing. :)
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