want to increase my social skills

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want to increase my social skills

Postby awesomename » Sun Mar 08, 2009 8:12 pm

as I used to stay on the computer way too much, I think it has affected me socialy with male friends and female friends

what would you recomend
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Re: want to increase my social skills

Postby _Chelsea_ » Sun Mar 08, 2009 10:07 pm

I have been exactly the same in the past. I suffer from anxiety so I find it hard to go out in general and have spent the last 6 years in the house, so my social skills were 0, but they're much better now so I'll share with you what I did incase you find it helps :)

I was reccomended all sorts, but I found baby steps helped - Even just a phone call as a starter. Short or long, it might feel like nothing but it is a start :) Try meeting up with a friend, if you find it difficult to make new ones, rely on old ones and meet people through people. You're bound to be nervous and feel like an odd ball as you don't seem to be confident with your social skills, but the best way is to just go with the flow really. Join in the joke or the convo and don't be worried about not fitting in or saying something that you're sure will make you seem like part of the gang. Just be yourself, because chances are you'll fit in just fine :)

Just make sure you keep in touch with people also - This is kinda important, and you can build on it that way too. Just get out there, be yourself and have fun doing it :) You have to keep in mind everyone will be nervous about something in some way, whether it's socially or not - But try and stay comfortable and remember how you feel is normal.

You might find it useful to see if there is a group floating around somewhere close to where you live for people who find it difficult in certain social situations, or any group for that matter. Sometimes it's easier to walk into a room full of strangers and build some skills, rather than be around people you know and feel the need to build them quicker to keep up.

Bond over a hobby with someone - Find something you enjoy that you share as a common interest with another person and make a convo out of it, you'll be surprised at how easily it keeps going. Whether it be a movie, a song, what you did that day - Talk about anything, it really will help. Also, your social skills might not have suffered as bad as you'd think :)

It sounds like you lack major confidence socially - So just take the small steps at first and build on them - Then before you know it, you'll be a social whirlwind!

Arrange a few days out with some friends or even family, take a good friend along sometimes, someone who knows you really well so you have some support if you feel uneasy. I think you'll be just fine though, you just need to take it a step at a time and don't expect yourself to feel fine with it all right away. It's really good that you wanna change it though, that takes a lot of strength in itself. I hope I've given you even just a bit of help, but I'm sure lots of people here can help more :)

Good luck! :)
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