Depressed after summer abroad

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Depressed after summer abroad

Postby eternalsunshine123 » Sat Mar 28, 2009 1:04 am

I graduated last June, then I spent 4 months in Asia but I'm so down now I'm back.....
I was very depressed before I went away, and I had developed a bad alcohol dependancy, but I got over a lot of my problems while I was away. I became this wonderful person who many people liked, and Im struggling now that I've come back to my rubbish life back home.

As I say I graduated last summer, but since I've came back I cant find a job. I've been unemployed since november and the days feel pointless now. I do a lot of voluntary work but employers dont seem to value this very much at all. Besides this I'm still living at home and Im now 23. My circle of friends is getting smaller, plus I dont really want to spend all my time with the friends I do have. With my old friends we tend to socialise around nights out and alcohol, and after having an amazing time away in Asia, without drinking, I dont really want to get to involved with this circle again. Apart from this I'm struggling to sleep, binge eating and drinking again ( far less than I did but I would like to completely get away from alcohol) so Im feeling less positive about myself. I guess the final nail in the coffin is i've never had a serious relationship, and Im starting to feel bad about this as Im getting older. I feel like if I could just get a decent job I could get a flat, join a club/or something else social, and having a schedule would make me eat and sleep healthier.

I dont know why im writing this because I hope you can see I know the answers; get a job, get a schedule, meet new people and look after myself. However not being able to get a job is preventing me from doing all the things I know I need to do to get back on top of things.

What the hell do about this?
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Re: Depressed after summer abroad

Postby Bel Bel » Mon Mar 30, 2009 10:48 am

I think employers do value volunatary work but it is a seriously bad time to be looking for a job
Have you thought about temping, at least you will be earning and if in any kind of employment it tends to look better to a prospective new employer . You will also meet more new people hopefully.
Is there any opportunity to go back to Asia and work there as you like it so much
You are the same person as you were there, it's smoehting about the surrounding that is make you react negatively and that will show in your body langauge and make you less approachable
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Re: Depressed after summer abroad

Postby Peanut1977 » Thu May 28, 2009 6:05 pm

Coming back home after being abroad is one of the most depressing things that you can go through. I spent 2 years abroad in my early 20s and had to come back due to lack of funds. I spent the next 6 months in a depressed haze so I know exactly what you're going through. :roll:

Although it is a rubbish time to try and get a job, it is possible to get one. OK it might not be your 'dream job' but if it means you can move out and have a bit of a life again then maybe you should try temping. I'm afraid there is no easy answer; you are going to have to pound the streets looking for work. I used to work in an agency and I'm telling you, once you've signed up with them (and you need to sign up with as many as you can), you need to harass them every day! Yes you will annoy them but so what? They will remember you when the next job comes in. You will get a job eventually I assure you, but looking for a job is a full time job itself, you have to commit a lot of time and effort to it.

Do you definitely want to stay in England? Your 20s is the ideal time to experience as much of life abroad as possible and there are sooo many opportunities abroad, especially now it's coming up to summer. You could work on a campsite in Europe, do Camp America, do a sponsored year in Japan or the US, or Teach English as a Foreign Language (TEFL). As you have a degree and are a native English speaker you will be snapped up. If you want to make some money go to Japan or South Korea, if you want to just get enough money to live, the world is your oyster. Check out this site http://www.eslcafe.com/ which lists all the TEFL jobs all over the world. I taught in S Korea and although I went off travelling again after my year (which I LOVED), I know many people who stayed there to study and ended up getting good jobs in universities.

Try getting in touch with your careers service at your university, they will have loads of info and advice for you and you can access it for up to 5 years I think.

Ultimately don't freak out about not 'having it all' yet, you are still very young, many people don't 'settle down' until their 30s these days as once you're in the rat race that's pretty much it!

Best of luck to you, PM me if you need more info as I'm a careers adviser and have worked abroad quite a lot myself x
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Re: Depressed after summer abroad

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Fri May 29, 2009 9:33 am

Peanut1977 wrote:I'm a careers adviser


You know what in that one post to eternalsunshine you gave more useful information that my careers advisor at school and uni...my careers advisor in school advised me my predicted GCSE in Business studies was a B...I said I didn't take business studies, she said "oh" and said "well you are predicted a B anyway"; then when helping me choose a uni course..."what subjects are you taking at A-level?" Maths, Physics, AS in Further Maths, Biology, AS in Chemistry...she then said "what subjects do you enjoy" - maths and physics...although I like physics more; "you should do physics then" - very useful. I didn't know you could do "joint honour subjects" or pharamacy or what the engineering courses were, I knew you could do civil engineering - what is civil engineering? or other things...until I was AT university; by then it was too late.

My parents/family couldn't help as I'm the first one in the family to go to uni.
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