Counsellor - ARGH :'(

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Counsellor - ARGH :'(

Postby rufio89 » Tue Mar 31, 2009 8:14 am

Argh. As you may know, I had my first appointment with a counsellor yesterday.

The session seemed to be going well and she seemed to have a good understanding of what was going on. I said some stuff about my boyfriend (the stuff I talk about on here), and she asked a few questions about what his character was like compared to mine, what his name was etc. After I'd said a few things about him, she looked a bit uncomfortable, and she said "can i just ask you his last name?" so I said, and she said "ah, I actually know him from when we worked at childline".

So now I dont know what to do. She said it's up to me, whether I think that it'll be a problem or not. She said they were never really FRIENDS (which is definatly true, because he doesnt even remember her when I told him about it), which is something I suppose, but I really dont know how I feel about it.

what do you guys think?
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Re: Counsellor - ARGH :'(

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Tue Mar 31, 2009 9:17 am

If she thought she knew him from when they worked together then it seems like his actions haven't changed and to be honest they never will.

It is honestly up to you if you want to continue with her; by law she can't tell anyone anything you have said in the session so nothing should get back to your boyfriend.

When you said you told your boyfriend about her did you mention she was your councillor first then her name or just say I bumped into someone today who said she knew you? Because if it was the first option he may be lying about not remembering her to see if he can get any info out of her, obviously there are many other reasons it could be.

How was the session apart from the one point you've mentioned? Did it go ok? Did it seem like it may be useful?
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Re: Counsellor - ARGH :'(

Postby rufio89 » Tue Mar 31, 2009 9:23 am

She said she knew him because I said he was very confident, talkative etc.

Yeah, I mean I know she cant say anything, and I dont think he's lying about remembering her.

The thing that I'm unsure about is, I kind of want him to be blank to her. I want her to build up a picture of what he's like from what I say, rather than from her own thoughts of him, I'm concerned that either:

a) She doesnt like him, and she'll think negatively of him when I talk about him
b) She does like him and think I'm being mean if I say something bad about him.


I did think it was going well up until then though, and she gave me a lot of stuff to think about, but I'm really not sure about the fact she knows him.
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Re: Counsellor - ARGH :'(

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Tue Mar 31, 2009 9:35 am

Good points about her previously formed idea of him. Why don't you have another session with her and bring up the two points here and ask her her opinion on the matter and will she be using her prejudged idea of him rather than a blank slate?
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Re: Counsellor - ARGH :'(

Postby Bel Bel » Tue Mar 31, 2009 12:46 pm

loom it's already making you feel uncomfortable so i would change counsellor
As for her remebering and him not then I would put that down to him making a bigger impression because he is loud and confident, she may well be a very quiet in the background kind of person
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Re: Counsellor - ARGH :'(

Postby RagDoll » Tue Mar 31, 2009 2:34 pm

I can totally see why you don't want her to have pre-conceived ideas about him, so personally I would change councellors, otherwise you might be worried about what you do and don't say which will entirely defeat the object.
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Re: Counsellor - ARGH :'(

Postby morris mouse » Tue Mar 31, 2009 3:42 pm

RagDoll wrote: I would change councellors, otherwise you might be worried about what you do and don't say which will entirely defeat the object.


I agree with "RagDoll"
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