Really down.

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Really down.

Postby rufio89 » Wed May 20, 2009 10:23 am

I've been really down the past few weeks. I keep crying for no reason, I'm almost constantly feeling upset, and most days I keep waking up just not knowing how I'm going to get through the day :(

Im seeing a counsellor, and I feel like I am finding it helpful, yet my moods have plummeted since I've been going.

I dont really know what to do... I feel like I dont want to go out and see my friends, I'm being paranoid and clingy with my boyfriend, everytime I speak to my Mum I end up sobbing at her.

I just dont know how to get out of this. I feel like I'm in a big hole and I keep clawing to get out but I'm just making it deeper.

:(
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Re: Really down.

Postby RagDoll » Wed May 20, 2009 10:53 am

I have never been to a counsellor, but I know people usually say they find it hard work and it can be upsetting in the short-term, but obviously beneficial in the long-term. I can imagine that's the case as you're going to be discussing things that you've perhaps tried to bottle up/bury deep inside you. I would think it brings a lot of issues to the surface, hence can be upsetting.

I just want to say that I can also empathise with how you feel - I have days/periods of feeling like that too. Is there anything that is specifically bothering you or is it just an overall feeling of depression? (not saying that you're necessarily clinically depressed, but feel depressed if you see what I mean?).

I think it's positive that you were still so enthusiastic about going to Paris recently as obviously you're still looking forward to and enjoying things.
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Re: Really down.

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Thu May 21, 2009 3:27 pm

RagDoll wrote:I have never been to a counsellor, but I know people usually say they find it hard work and it can be upsetting in the short-term, but obviously beneficial in the long-term. I can imagine that's the case as you're going to be discussing things that you've perhaps tried to bottle up/bury deep inside you. I would think it brings a lot of issues to the surface, hence can be upsetting.


I agree
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Re: Really down.

Postby rufio89 » Wed Jun 17, 2009 10:01 am

Ive just got about 100000000% worse since I posted this.

I dont know what to do, I just feel like my life is in absolute tatters, my self-esteem and self-worth are lower than rock bottom.

Im not going to do anything stupid, but honestly, I just feel like I want to die :(
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Re: Really down.

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Wed Jun 17, 2009 10:05 am

Explain how? I know you'll be upset from your grandad and last night...

There is nothing you can really do except wait for it to heal it self. Just take some time out and try to keep yourself busy.
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Re: Really down.

Postby rufio89 » Wed Jun 17, 2009 10:11 am

I just feel like..

I dunno, like this time a month ago, I was about to buy a house, I was with my boyfriend who I loved, I was secure in my job and due for my pay to be put up £2k, and now I dont have any of those things. I cant buy a house because I wont be able to guarantee a lodger, plus my job isnt secure enough anymore, my boyfriend split up with me, I'm probably going to lose my job, my parents have changed their house all around so worst case scenario and I lost my job and had no money, I couldnt even go back there which is what I was relying on, so I was already pretty low, and then my Grandad died and I just feel like everything is being taken away from me and I cannot cope with it.

I just want to run away, I feel like I'm going crazy :'(
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Re: Really down.

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Wed Jun 17, 2009 10:18 am

You are just going to have to step back and concentrate on getting you sorted. I am sure if you needed your parents could change their house around again, plus they wouldn't see you homeless.

You have in effect just re-split with your boyfriend since you saw him again, so it's like rubbing salt into an open wound.
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Re: Really down.

Postby Bel Bel » Wed Jun 17, 2009 11:38 am

rufio i know this won't make you feel better right now but we have to have bad times to make us appreciate the good times more

sometimes things happen for a reason and it isn't apparent until later so the house things and the job may all open up other opportunites that you didn't even think of. Like i think you were considering travelling you can't do that if your tied to a house or a job

your grandad situation is very sad and i am so sorry for that but this is one you can't do anything about and just have to go throught the grieving process

i know it's sad you split with your ex but i still think it's for the best long term and you will be happier once you get through this tough period your in right now

PLEASE don't feel bad that you went back with him for one night, lots of people are tempted and do the dame thing, it's easy.comfortable and it's what you know. You were alos vunerable becasue of your grandad so it's perfectly understandable

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Re: Really down.

Postby rufio89 » Wed Jun 17, 2009 11:39 am

I just want to cry. :(

I asked my boss if I can take Friday and Monday off, he said he'll get back to me tomorrow, so I'll see. I really hope I can. I dont think I can cope with being here :( :(
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Re: Really down.

Postby captainf » Sat Jun 20, 2009 10:59 pm

I think that you've just got to try your best to remain positive. I dont think theres many people during these times of economic hardship that are currently looking for a place, so to of been able to do that when most couldnt you must of been in a relatively good position anyway. Now unfortunately you're being hit in the same way that everyone else is economically. However there are some positives - from my understanding you still have your job, even if its hanging in the balance you still currently have a job to fight for and I know alot of people (myself included) who would love to have a job right now even if it was hanging in the balance.

Im abit confused though, you say that you'll have to move back to your parents, but if you dont have your own place, where are you currently living?

I'm very sorry that things didnt work for you and your ex but I think he was a particularly bad boyfriend. Alot of your posts were about him and alot of them were negative things that he didnt do or was things he did that you didnt like. He was generally inconsiderate and I think that in the long term you will see how much better off you are without him.

I think that your grandads death has just magnified the small problems and setbacks and made them seem worse than they really are. You could say that they are inconveniences that you dont really need while you're grieving for your loss. However this will be a situation whereby you can learn to deal with more than just one problem at a time and learn to prioritise things accordingly.

Have you seen your counsellor since your grandad passed away? This would be a very beneficial time to see them.
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Re: Really down.

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Mon Jun 22, 2009 9:17 am

captain_flynn wrote:Im abit confused though, you say that you'll have to move back to your parents, but if you dont have your own place, where are you currently living?



She rents, when she said she didn't have her own place, I think she meant like her own bought house rather than a rented house.
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Re: Really down.

Postby m_m » Mon Jun 22, 2009 10:24 am

I have removed this post due to identity issues, I hope that is not a problem x
Last edited by m_m on Tue Oct 20, 2009 4:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Really down.

Postby rufio89 » Mon Jun 22, 2009 10:42 am

Its rubbish isnt it Manufacture? If you find any miracle cure, then please let me know :( xxx
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Re: Really down.

Postby captainf » Mon Jun 22, 2009 4:38 pm

dipsydoodlenoodle wrote:
captain_flynn wrote:Im abit confused though, you say that you'll have to move back to your parents, but if you dont have your own place, where are you currently living?



She rents, when she said she didn't have her own place, I think she meant like her own bought house rather than a rented house.


Ah many thanks for clarification. I'm sure that if it comes down to it your family will happily take you in. I can't see them not doing that.

Good luck.
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Re: Really down.

Postby rufio89 » Sat Oct 24, 2009 5:43 pm

I wanted to update this.

I am SO much happier now.

It's been a rough few months,

I was really unhappy where I was living, I wasnt getting to see my friends, and I wasnt getting on with my housemate
I was in a rubbish job, where I was getting badly paid, and bullied,
and my boyfriend split up with me, and I was very in love with him and didnt want to split up.


It's been 5 months now, and I honestly feel like I've never been so positive about my life. I moved house, so now I'm living in the city, so I have more spare time, I'm in a nicer flat, and I'm living with a girl who it turns out I get on really well with and so Ive made a new friend.
I lost my job, which I was upset about even though I hated it, because I was scared I wouldn't be able to find a new job, but as it's turned out Ive got a new job, closer to my house, it sounds much more interesting and Im getting paid much more.
I realised that I was wrong about my ex and he wasnt good enough for me, and Ive met someone new, who treats me very well.


Im just so happy with how my life is at the moment, and I just thought I should update you guys and maybe give anyone who's going through a rough patch a bit of hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel... :)
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