Food issues

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Re: Food issues

Postby snail » Wed Jun 10, 2009 11:59 am

dipsydoodlenoodle wrote:
But have you ever felt it on your own when you aren't stressed?


No, I'm OK on my own, because I know there's no pressure to eat or swallow anything.
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Re: Food issues

Postby earthchild » Wed Jun 10, 2009 12:00 pm

snail wrote: Can I ask the other PP-ers, if you met someone who said this, how shocked would you be? Would you think they had serious problems and were best avoided, or would you be able to accept it?


hey snail
i have to admit i was a bit confused when my friend admitted it, i really thought she was kidding until she made me come with her to the loos to eat.
But in answer to your question no, it didnt put me off being around her at all.
I think if anyone didnt want to be around a person with this problem then they are shallow and not worth being friends with.
Friends are suppose to be understanding and supporting.
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Re: Food issues

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Wed Jun 10, 2009 12:05 pm

In that case alicat it just seems a bit strange, but you will eat it from your boyfriends plate hehe. Maybe it just tastes nicer there.

Are the buffets normally covered? A fly can quite as easily land on your food at home.
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Re: Food issues

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Wed Jun 10, 2009 12:08 pm

snail wrote:
dipsydoodlenoodle wrote:
But have you ever felt it on your own when you aren't stressed?


No, I'm OK on my own, because I know there's no pressure to eat or swallow anything.


There is no pressure to eat or swallow in public. Can't you try and imagine a "safe place" like everytime you eat you imagine a safe place that you are comfortable eating in and try it out in public? Sorry to keep asking millions of questions, how about for e.g. you go to Macdonalds (sorry it was the first place that came to mind), so you go there alone, could you eat your burger in the restaurant or would you have to retreat? I'm just trying ti figure out if it's in front of people in general or just in front of people you know.
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Re: Food issues

Postby snail » Wed Jun 10, 2009 12:24 pm

It's in front of anyone where I couldn't spit the food out if necessary, or put my head down to swallow it (that helps me swallow it easier if I'm struggling - makes me feel less like I'm going to choke). It's better in front of total strangers whom I don't know at all - because I don't care about their opinion, I suppose - and worst in a formal occasion with people I know, where there's food on my plate and everyone will expect me to eat it. My ultimate nightmare is someone's carefully-prepared home-cooked meal, where they dish it all out for me (so I can't just put a little on my plate) and watch me eating to check I'm enjoying it.

On the very rare occasion that I'm not thinking about it (something else on my mind) I swallow with no trouble. It's purely neurotic.

Oh, Earthchild, that thing about the loos made me feel so much better. I've done that, but I've never said it to a living soul before now. I feel so ashamed, standing in a manky, stinky public toilet cubicle and eating. But sometimes when I'm out I have to, or I get faint from not eating anything for hours. I suck sweets to keep up my energy if necessary (like Future Girl drinking tea) but it doesn't help much.

I've got to dash off and do some actual work now, but I'll be back later, and I really appreciate the replies :D
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Re: Food issues

Postby earthchild » Wed Jun 10, 2009 12:35 pm

snail wrote:I feel so ashamed,


:( dont be ashamed snail.

My bf gets very similiar choking feeling when he eats, he says it feels like a huge ball is stuck in his throat preventing him from swallowing, and like you he has to push his head down towards his neck and really push to get the food down.
His swallowing problem is due to his high anxiety though rather than a phobia of eating infront of people, saying that though being in macdonald's surrounded by loads of people can make him anxious enough not to be able to eat.
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Re: Food issues

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Wed Jun 10, 2009 12:56 pm

My mam has a "thing" (I can't remember the name) on her food tube (god I'm good with names) which sometimes prevents her from eating, it's something like a cyst or tumor or something and it basically moves up and down her food tube. The food will get stuck and she has to be sick to get rid of it. I told work about it when she found out and they all knew what it was.

Snail, have you been to the doctors? There could actually be something medical causing it, although it does seem unlikely? Something weird but how about seeing about getting hypnotised to see if it helps?
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Re: Food issues

Postby snail » Wed Jun 10, 2009 2:18 pm

There's nothing medically wrong because I can swallow easily when I'm alone or not thinking about it.

I've tried hypnotherapy, but with no joy. I think my counselling will get me to the root of the problem in time, it just bothers me that my life isn't moving forward as I would like it to in the meantime.

I have been feeling recently, though, that I just have to get on with things anyway. If someone is very shocked and thinks "What a looney" I'll just have to live with that. Knowing that it isn't that unusual after all definitely helps.
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Re: Food issues

Postby liberalleague » Wed Jun 10, 2009 2:44 pm

No one with intelligence will think you're a looney; issues with food, and eating disorders of all kinds are so common! The fact that you say you don't have a prolem eating in public when you've got something else on your mind makes me think that eventually this problem will pass. I think it's good that you're seeing someone about it though, and talking about it - it'll make things better quicker.
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Re: Food issues

Postby FutureGirl92 » Wed Jun 10, 2009 9:35 pm

It's just so strange... Physically, I am absolutely famished, and I look at the food and think "Hmm, yep, I'd have a bit of that, a bit of this, ooh and a bit of that..." yet I never actually get up and eat! And my boyfriend's mother knows I've got a few confidence issues, as we're quite close. My boyfriend's dad and brother are a bit like "madhead! eat something!" but she's really nice about it, like subtly suggesting she and her husband go in the living room to eat, or leaving mine and my boyfriend's plates in the oven, so we can eat later on when people aren't about. It just makes my boyfriend feel really guilty, like he's the one stopping me from eating, which isn't true. And the weird thing is, I've never thought about deliberately skipping meals or anything like that... it's all circumstantial. Need some serious therapy, people!! haha xxx
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Re: Food issues

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Thu Jun 11, 2009 8:43 am

Your boyfriends mam sounds like a lively woman. At least she understands and is actually trying to help :).
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Re: Food issues

Postby snail » Thu Jun 11, 2009 9:46 am

And at least you know you're not alone now, too :D Sorry for hijacking your thread a bit, by the way!
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Re: Food issues

Postby Bel Bel » Thu Jun 11, 2009 11:34 am

would you be able to start with soup snail and futuregirl as this is obviously a liquid
I think once you expose yourself to actually eating something in front of people it might get easier so soup would be the obvious starting pointI would get a close friend involved in going with you the first couple of times you wnat to try it in public so they can support you and understand if it doesn't work out
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Re: Food issues

Postby snail » Thu Jun 11, 2009 11:55 am

Yes, soup and liquids is definitely the place to start. Some times I am worse than others: once or twice when I have been better and have felt able to try and eat in front of someone, I have gone to cafes etc, and just thought, "Oh, I'll order the soup" - all cafes or restaurants have at least one soup on their menu, and I just fiddle with the bread and don't eat it. Trouble is, I was once caught out when the soup arrived and it was really chunky - more like a casserole, and I'd thought it would be a liquid! Ah, you have to laugh really :roll:
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Re: Food issues

Postby Bel Bel » Thu Jun 11, 2009 12:27 pm

What about soup at home in front of some friends or a friend to start. Invite them round for a light lunch and do a homemade soup.
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