Somatization/Sertraline

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Somatization/Sertraline

Postby _Chelsea_ » Thu Jun 18, 2009 2:03 pm

It's been a while since I've been here, a lot has gone on...And this post will explain the majority of it.

As anyone who read my muscle tension topic knows, physically I've had some pains and stuff, and I've not been the easiest patient to convince. That hasn't changed really. A new counselling team diganosed me with somatization - I had never ever heard of it before, so I looked some stuff up on the internet and basically what I found out was it's when emotional pain manifests itself physically, when there is no physical root. I went to the doctors about it yesterday, but I saw a different doctor to my own as he was unavailable & I just wanted to see someone. She gave me a website to go on, and I did, it didn't tell me much new. I asked her how far the pain can go and the effects of it - She told me it can put some people in a coma. Admittedly I got really freaked at that and perhaps she could sense it because she said 'But with you we won't let it get that far because it's not as if we're a third world country with no treatments' And she also said she's seen people worse than me...So that has to be 'good' right? It's just now I can't shake the feeling I'm going to put myself into a coma with my hypochondria! ](*,)

Anyways, the psychologists put me on Sertraline. I was supposed to start them last Saturday...But I haven't. I'm just far too scared because of my health anxiety, I'm scared that the side effects will make me feel worse physically and then I'll be scared into not taking anti depressants ever again when realistically I do need something. I know I can't keep living my life in what if's, but...I can't help it as much as I want to. I called the psychologists earlier and asked for the support worker to ring me back so I can talk to him about it...I hadn't told him I wasn't taking them, because I was too scared, but my Mom knows I've not been taking them. The doctor told me I need to give myself the benefit of the doubt and take these though...But I'm just so petrified.

All I can think is coma coma coma coma coma coma - Though that's obviously the extreme end of it but I can't shake it away! I was realistic with my fears to the doctor though, and she ruled out pretty much all but one - The one remaining isn't a serious one and she only couldn't rule it out because she'd need bloodwork so I wasn't too worried about that, it's just that coma word resounding in my head...But she told me if I nip it in the bud now it won't get that far. Believe me...I'm trying my best, I just can't seem to find the inner strength from within to do it by myself. I've been told by my sister in law to push for CBT as it helped her greatly, and I think the new team are going to do that, so when the guy rings back I'm going to ask him their plans for me and if I can get a sooner appointment as...I can't go on like this anymore. I know most of it has to come fromw ithin me, but I can't bring it out alone. Friends seem to have abandoned me right now so all I have are family and proffesionals...I need all I can get. I'm 17. I don't want to be this way. I want to get better and will do everything in my power to get there but I just feel so..Powerless.

Well...I guess what I'm asking of anyone who reads this is:

Can the muscle tension, aches and pains almost all over, burning and tingly pains and breathing(feels like a pressure or a weight is on my chest sometimes, nto when having a panic attack)and feeling sick all be accounted to the somatization?
I don't want to lose faith in the doctors and their tests, so were they right in saying I did have a significant amount of muscle tension due to stress? I mean just because they didn't say the name of the condition doesn't make them wrong right since it's all stress related?
Does anyone here have any experience with somatization/sertraline or know of anyone with experience with it?
What side effects can I expect from Sertraline?I know not everyone will get the same if any - But I need to be aware of what is most commonf or people because the internet is giving me horror stories and the leaflet panicked me when I didn't realise it listed the serious ones first and the common ones later...
What's the outlook for someone with somatization? I just want hope really...But honesty too.
Any self help tips for me? I am extremely stubborn...And a bad thing is I ALWAYS think, even when I'm focusing on something else so...Not thinking of the pain is proving to be diffcult unfortunately.

Like I said...I'm 17 & I want to live. Right now I don't feel happy. I don't feel sad. I think I feel miserable and stuck. Every day I do the same thing - nothing. I'm completely housebound again besides doctors offices. I don't think the pain is disabling me to be honest, I think it's my fear of the pain telling me I can't do things or that if I do them I'll make it all worse or die..So I really am going in vicious circles with myself.

Thank you so much for reading this && Sorry to be such a bother to you all...I just don't know where else to go :(
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Re: Somatization/Sertraline

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Thu Jun 18, 2009 2:23 pm

You know even the most simple tablet or vitamin tablet can have horrendous side effects, whilst one in 40 million people will be affected it HAS to be listed. The list of side effects generally means they are covering themselves and it doesn't mean that you will get any.

Try taking the tablets and see how it goes for a few weeks and then if you aren't sure call up and ask again. These things won't cure themselves instantly, you need to show your "problem" that you are stronger and that you want to live and get on with it. You will never know if the tablets will work if you don't try them...

Ask yourself can you see yourself still being like you are in 10 years time, would you be happier still being as you are in 10 years time thinking I tried the tablets, they may not have worked but I tried them, or would you rather sit there in 10 years time and think "I wish I had taken the tablets" or what if I had?...
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Re: Somatization/Sertraline

Postby _Chelsea_ » Thu Jun 18, 2009 2:42 pm

You're fully right in everything. I'm already wondering if my saving grace is sitting downstairs in the cupboard and I'm just putting off a week of side effects I may or may not get through my fear. I want to try, I have to try, I know it. I'm just scared. I think it's also because my last two experiences with anti depressants were bad so that's frightened me too. I'm trying to think 'Shut up Chelsea you WILL get better and you aren't going to die, just take the steps and try to improve things' & I'm trying to think of my anti depressants like my diazepam - I take my diazpam with no fear, even though that could affect me or anyone badly too. I don't know...Like if I were sick, and needed anti biotics, I'd take those...So I try to think of anti deprssants as anti biotics for my sadness, so far I'm not buying it - Perhaps because I only started to think with that analogy a few hours ago. I'm definately trying, I know this. Instead of leaving the tablets in the cupboard every day, I'll at least try to take one...I know it's not really good enough and I need to take them. I think I will, once I've spoken to the psychologist about my fears. I know they only put every single side effect on to cover themselves and my chances of getting a really bad one are quite slim but my mind is my own worst enemy and isn't letting me process these logical thoughts very much right now.

Thanks Dipsy :)
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Re: Somatization/Sertraline

Postby Bel Bel » Thu Jun 18, 2009 3:25 pm

ok your worried about the coma well these tablets WILL stop that happening because they are the cure to your illness

if you're so scared of the coma taking the tablets is definately the way to go

I am glad they have finally been able to diagnose you and now you know you weren't mad and you have a real illness but it will get better if you help yourself

yes it's scary but think about how good life will be when your free of this

please tell them you haven't taken the tablets yet and why, they are there to help you and need to know the barriers you face in dealing with this. You are more likely to get the CBT if you tell the truth

good luck and let us know how your getting on
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Re: Somatization/Sertraline

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Fri Jun 19, 2009 8:27 am

Bel Bel wrote:please tell them you haven't taken the tablets yet and why, they are there to help you and need to know the barriers you face in dealing with this


I agree with this; you don't want to tell them you are taking them and for them to see no effects becasue they'll probably poke and prod you more. If you are honest and say you haven't taken them and why they will be more understanding.

Bel Bel wrote:ok your worried about the coma well these tablets WILL stop that happening because they are the cure to your illness


I agree with this.

I also think this is a good idea...

_Chelsea_ wrote:...So I try to think of anti deprssants as anti biotics for my sadness


I bet yuo have taken diazapram for a long time, rather than it just be something new. It's all about feeling comfortable with something new.
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Re: Somatization/Sertraline

Postby _Chelsea_ » Fri Jun 19, 2009 11:31 pm

Well, I called the support worker today as he wasn't around yesterday. I was honest - I just said what I've told you guys. He wasn't mad or anything, but I also said I'll keep trying to take them and I'm not saying I'll never take them, just that I can't promise I'll be able to tomorrow or whatever. I also asked about what the doctor said - He told me truthfully it can happen but that it only happens to people with other depressive illnesses and such and I'm not in that league so as far as coma goes I'm safe. I asked about long term plans - CBT is part of the plan. I feel slightly relieved now knowing coma won't happen to me. I know I still have a ways to go and coma will still play on my mind but if they said it won't happen, it won't happen, they know the signs and I haven't got them and I have to trust the professionals now or I will never get better.

I'm also trying things at home - I've taken my art back up, I became an auntie a month ago and my sister has also asked me to be Godmother so I have to get better for that and Reece. Mom is giving my tasks to do every day - Even if it's just small like put away the dishes if any are left on the sink or clean the table or something, just something different for me to focus on. My mom has also said since I've started talking more about how I feel and why, I sound better...Maybe a problem shared is a problem halved.

I'll keep trying, however I go about that. I'm super duper thankful to you guys for reading and posting back, it means so much that people I don't even know are banding together to help me. You're all stars :D
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Re: Somatization/Sertraline

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Mon Jun 22, 2009 9:14 am

Well done on taking art back up, as you said it's something to focus on and technically say you do one painting a day, you can change the painting and it's a "new" subject every day. One you feel braver, you could see if you can go to the local park (during the day) and draw it?

The little jobs will be helping as well becuase it's not only helping your mam but it is giving you something to do.
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