Life is Falling Apart

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Life is Falling Apart

Postby m_m » Mon Jul 13, 2009 11:29 am

I have removed this post due to identity issues, I hope this is not a problem x
Last edited by m_m on Tue Oct 20, 2009 4:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Life is Falling Apart

Postby Bel Bel » Mon Jul 13, 2009 11:43 am

I think firstly conseeling to help with your self esteem will help
I am afraid from previous posts I always thought your b/f took the p*** out of you for money but you let him
STOP paying for him. He can't use you for money if you don't let him. You will soon find out if he is just using you if you cut off the fund
Stand up for yourself more, if your dads rude why make him any dinner?
Stop being so nice to everyone
We get treated how we allow people to treat us
As for work that is slightly different because you do have to do what your boss wants. If that lady isn't your boss then go and discuss with your boss that she is ordering you about and telling you what to do.
Unless she says you have to do what this lady syas tell her you only take direction from your direct boss so if she wnats you to do anything she needs to go through them. If she is not meant to using you in this way this will soon stop her.
I wouldn't even consider getting enagaged, what is it your b/f has to offer exactly? He is nice to you sometimes, he spounges off you and generally doesn't make you feel good about yoursefl. Perhaps you should be thinking of dumping him

As for your mum, stuff her. It's your life and you can do whatever you wnat.

Can you look at moving into shared accomodation so you can get away from this negative environment. Alternatively change your job and if she kicks you out then you will get temporoary accomadtion from the consel until you can be rehoused. It may be the best thing that could happen to you
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Re: Life is Falling Apart

Postby RagDoll » Mon Jul 13, 2009 11:53 am

I agree with Bel Bel in the respect that I think you need to stop financially supporting your boyfriend - he will have to fend for himself if you stop being his prop. I know it's easier said than done when you've always supported him, but it's not like your his Mother - you should be equals. If you stop supporting him so much, then you can start saving and eventually move out of your parents house - that way you can be more independent of your Mum etc. and not let her opinions influence you so much (practically and emotionally).
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Re: Life is Falling Apart

Postby Skarlet » Mon Jul 13, 2009 11:58 am

Have you asked for feedback for the jobs that you have applied for? If not give them a call and get some. It is the best way to find out why you weren't successful, and can really help when applying for the next ones. Have you spoken to any of the people where you are volunteering? They might know of jobs, that are due to come up.

I know you hate your job, but why not ask for a meeting with your manager and the person you are working directly for and thrash out what your responsibilities are. In that way you are being proactive, and dealing with the problem.

Your relationship doesn't sound too happy, describing him as being nice to you some of the time isn't very positive. Are you only with him because he is there, and you don't want to be on your own? If that is the case, maybe you should think about whether you really want to settle for him and end it. I also agree with Ragdoll, you should stop supporting him.
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Re: Life is Falling Apart

Postby m_m » Mon Jul 13, 2009 12:09 pm

I have removed this post due to identity issues, I hope this is not a problem x
Last edited by m_m on Tue Oct 20, 2009 4:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Life is Falling Apart

Postby Bel Bel » Mon Jul 13, 2009 12:14 pm

so what if you have to miss out on a few meals and the cinema for a couple of weeks to make a point
You could also order a takeaway just for you to rub his nose right in itas for the food, buy things you know he and your dad don't like. again if it means eating things that aren't particulalry what you want fro a few weeks so what it will make the point really easily
Perhaps you need to work on making more friends, are you just with your b/f because you would be lonely without him
You say you are a loner, shared accomodation doesn't have to mean being really social. You have your own room and come and go as you please but just be civil. You can even ask up front if it's a really socail houshold or a more quiet environment
Don't rule it out as an option
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Re: Life is Falling Apart

Postby rufio89 » Mon Jul 13, 2009 12:15 pm

I really think you should consider moving into shared accomodation, I know you said you're a bit of a loner and you dont fancy it, but it could work.

I used to live in a shared flat where no-one talked to each other and just kept out of each others way and I absolutely hated it because I wanted something more social, but something like that might work for you?
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Re: Life is Falling Apart

Postby m_m » Mon Jul 13, 2009 12:19 pm

I have removed this post due to identity issues, I hope this is not a problem x
Last edited by m_m on Tue Oct 20, 2009 4:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Life is Falling Apart

Postby rufio89 » Mon Jul 13, 2009 12:24 pm

Well how much do you earn? Is there any way you could afford a place by yourself?
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Re: Life is Falling Apart

Postby RagDoll » Mon Jul 13, 2009 12:25 pm

I think that it's fair enough that you don't fancy living in shared accomodation - it wouldn't appeal to me either, but in that case, I think you really need to start being careful with your money and save for a house. You can always say to your boyfriend that it's your intention to start saving from now on, so if he wants to do things with you (e.g. go for meals etc.), he's going to have to pay for a while, or at least pay half?

Couldn't you even afford to rent somewhere of your own? From the sounds of things, I think it would really do you some good to get some distance from your parents.
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Re: Life is Falling Apart

Postby m_m » Mon Jul 13, 2009 12:30 pm

I have removed this post due to identity issues, I hope this is not a problem x
Last edited by m_m on Tue Oct 20, 2009 4:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Life is Falling Apart

Postby Skarlet » Mon Jul 13, 2009 12:31 pm

So you have 800 a month to live off? Do you pay your parents rent?

manufacture_me wrote:I have spoken to a couple (as not many of these jobs come up) and they said they couldn't understand why I wasn't getting interviews as my volunteering put the jobs in my favour, showing commitment etc. I have spoken to the people where I am volunteering but the animal shelter is strictly volunteers only and there aren't any paid jobs, the zoo on the otherhand will not hire anyone for animal related jobs without a degree.


Out of the people who volunteer are there any Vets or vetinary nurses who you could ask to look at your application? Do you send CV's in, or are they applications? When you write your application, do you follow the job spec and compare what you have written?
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Re: Life is Falling Apart

Postby m_m » Mon Jul 13, 2009 12:41 pm

I have removed this post due to identity issues, I hope this is not a problem x
Last edited by m_m on Tue Oct 20, 2009 4:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Life is Falling Apart

Postby rufio89 » Mon Jul 13, 2009 12:45 pm

Where abouts do you live Manufacture? I know your thing says London, but is that actually in London, or just around London?

I reckon you could afford somewhere, just about. It'll be very tight though unless you were willing to do a house share, or you could get your boyfriend to pay half.
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Re: Life is Falling Apart

Postby m_m » Mon Jul 13, 2009 12:53 pm

I have removed this post due to identity issues, I hope this is not a problem x
Last edited by m_m on Tue Oct 20, 2009 4:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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