Life is Falling Apart

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Re: Life is Falling Apart

Postby snail » Wed Jul 15, 2009 9:34 am

I mentioned it because I know someone with it, and it has made it very difficult for him to get a job, because he doesn't communicate well at all. He gave up in the end and started his own business.
How we spend our days is how we spend our lives.

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Re: Life is Falling Apart

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Mon Jul 20, 2009 3:10 pm

I agree with what most people have said about the job front, but you need to be less willing to part with your money, you buy your mam things when she asks for them...she's a grown woman! As for the cinema and stuff ask your bf to do things around the house and as a treat you'll take him, and if he doesn't try and arrange to go with a friend.

My bf has just been made redundant, he's offered to clean the inside of my car for me; I'm thinking if he does it I'll treat him to the cinema as he does want to go and I'll buy him some dinner. It is the only way my bf will learn unfortunately though.
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Re: Life is Falling Apart

Postby RagDoll » Tue Jul 21, 2009 10:18 am

Dipsy, I think Manufacture_Me is saying she buys things for her Mum because she lives with her, but doesn't pay her rent etc. I guess it's just her way of contributing.
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Re: Life is Falling Apart

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Tue Jul 21, 2009 3:25 pm

I assumed she bought the food as she didn't pay rent and the things for her mam as treats. Maybe it's both because she doesn't pay rent.
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Re: Life is Falling Apart

Postby Peanut1977 » Mon Aug 10, 2009 7:08 pm

Hi there...pheew! You have a lot going on lady. Looking at it objectively don't you think that you are trying to deal with/work out too many things at once? You're talking about moving house, dealing with bullying at work, possibly getting a new job, dealing with your parents, looking to move to canada, get a degree, retrain, sorting out your relationship, working through your issues about your sister and also how you feel about the UK, dealing with your grans death and then on top of it all trying to work out what is going on in your boyfriends head??? I'm not surprised you're emotionally drained and can't see the woods for the trees. My first impression from your email is that you have too much going on and are trying to appease everybody but yourself.

You need to get things into perspective and put things in order of priority. I.e. what is making you the most unhappy and what needs sorting out first - rate them on a scale of 1-10 (1 being unbearable and needs to change, 10 being great etc)

For example:
Work = 6
Living at home = 5
Paying for everything = 4

You get the idea. This will help you get it out your head and onto paper. Life coaching uses similar techniques to help you SEE what is actually going on in your life and what needs sorting out first, cause you can't do it all at once, if you try to you become overwhelmed and stagnant and nothing changes.

Once you have worked out what you can and can't deal with, you can start to deal with it one by one. If your main priority is getting a new job (even if it's not related to the animal industry, just to get you out of your horrible situation) then put everything else to one side for now and just put all your energy into this.

On a personal note, I know how it is to be in a job you hate. It saps your energy and most importantly, your confidence and self esteem. This can then have a detrimental effect on the rest of your life. I think you should stop worrying about promotions, how it looks etc, if you are that unhappy and don’t feel valued I suggest asking your boss for a one-to-one and the night before the meeting, write down everything you are unhappy about (bullying, not being recognized for your work etc) and make sure you are HEARD and it is taken seriously. Most importantly don’t be afraid to leave if nothing changes, only when you have accepted this can you really push for change. Give them a deadline of say a month and if nothing changes in that time then you have tried everything and should feel proud of it, then start to actively look for a new job – anything to get you out of there. Meanwhile still do your volunteering, try to retrain and simply flog yourself to try and get a vet assistant post.
Good luck!
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Re: Life is Falling Apart

Postby snail » Tue Sep 01, 2009 7:32 pm

reformed sinner wrote:Dear manufacture me, it sounds to me as though you are bearing up quite well under the pressure from all sides. Hang in there! I'm in quite a similar position to yourself, in that I am in a relationship which doesn't seem to be going anywhere . . . Talking about my situation with friends it seems you have to take a step back from being emotional about it, and look at the situation practically. What do you want for your life? We all need financial stability, somewhere to live and good friends. What are your reasons for staying with him? It seems like he is taking advantage of your kindness and your money when you don't have much. Work out what your sticking point is (mine is that my partner is an alcoholic) and weigh up whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages to staying with him. It seems like you are worried about staying with him because you are worried about the future and what will happen. Remember that you can't change other people if they don't want to change (it has taken me a long time to work this out)! As far as we know we only have this life, if you don't change it so that it suits you, you will always be unhappy. This might mean you have to be mean to him, by chucking him out.
How we spend our days is how we spend our lives.

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Re: Life is Falling Apart

Postby m_m » Fri Sep 11, 2009 12:35 pm

I have removed this post due to identity issues, I hope this is not a problem x
Last edited by m_m on Tue Oct 20, 2009 4:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Life is Falling Apart

Postby m_m » Fri Sep 11, 2009 12:39 pm

I have removed this post due to identity issues, I hope this is not a problem x
Last edited by m_m on Tue Oct 20, 2009 4:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Life is Falling Apart

Postby rufio89 » Fri Sep 11, 2009 12:46 pm

ooooh yay thats excellent m_m!!!
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Re: Life is Falling Apart

Postby m_m » Fri Sep 11, 2009 12:48 pm

I have removed this post due to identity issues, I hope this is not a problem x
Last edited by m_m on Tue Oct 20, 2009 4:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Life is Falling Apart

Postby RagDoll » Fri Sep 11, 2009 2:05 pm

That's good news :)
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Re: Life is Falling Apart

Postby snail » Fri Sep 11, 2009 3:15 pm

Hurray =D>
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