How do I stop taking things personally?

For problems with mental or emotional well being.
Forum rules
NEW USERS HAVE TO WAIT FOR THEIR FIRST POSTS TO BE APPROVED BY AN ADMINISTRATOR. Rules | Essential Information | FAQ | Support | Twitter

Re: How do I stop taking things personally?

Postby sazzled » Wed Sep 16, 2009 10:53 am

I feel like rubbish and need a hug :cry:
User avatar
sazzled
One of the Crowd
One of the Crowd
 
Posts: 65
Joined: Wed Jul 08, 2009 5:36 pm
Location: Essex
Gender: Female

Re: How do I stop taking things personally?

Postby Skarlet » Wed Sep 16, 2009 11:12 am

:grouphug: chin up Sazzled, it will all work out. Might not seem like it now.
User avatar
Skarlet
Permanent Fixture
Permanent Fixture
 
Posts: 1082
Joined: Tue Dec 09, 2008 4:41 pm
Gender: Female

Re: How do I stop taking things personally?

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Wed Sep 16, 2009 12:27 pm

:grouphug: :)
A hug is a great gift, one size fits all.
User avatar
dipsydoodlenoodle
Long Term Lodger
Long Term Lodger
 
Posts: 3928
Joined: Fri Feb 08, 2008 4:24 pm
Location: England
Gender: Female

Re: How do I stop taking things personally?

Postby snail » Wed Sep 16, 2009 6:53 pm

:grouphug:

And have one of these as well: there's no reason for it, it'll just make you smile *dizzysanta*
How we spend our days is how we spend our lives.

Annie Dillard
User avatar
snail
Site Admin
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4336
Joined: Sun Sep 02, 2007 8:59 pm
Location: Your guess is as good as mine.
Gender: Female

Re: How do I stop taking things personally?

Postby sazzled » Wed Sep 16, 2009 9:31 pm

It did!

I was feeling like rubbish coz, as per my other topic...I didn't get the job. It's frustrating because I keep getting excellent feedback...but not the job! :grrr: :angry:
User avatar
sazzled
One of the Crowd
One of the Crowd
 
Posts: 65
Joined: Wed Jul 08, 2009 5:36 pm
Location: Essex
Gender: Female

Re: How do I stop taking things personally?

Postby Skarlet » Wed Sep 16, 2009 9:54 pm

There is a brilliant question to ask in interviews, that I have used (and i got that job) it is basically, do you have any reservations about taking me on in this role.... the reason it is so brilliant, is that you can address their issues at that point. It makes you look prepared, and able to think on your feet at the same time.
User avatar
Skarlet
Permanent Fixture
Permanent Fixture
 
Posts: 1082
Joined: Tue Dec 09, 2008 4:41 pm
Gender: Female

Re: How do I stop taking things personally?

Postby sazzled » Wed Sep 16, 2009 10:11 pm

Skarlet wrote:There is a brilliant question to ask in interviews, that I have used (and i got that job) it is basically, do you have any reservations about taking me on in this role.... the reason it is so brilliant, is that you can address their issues at that point. It makes you look prepared, and able to think on your feet at the same time.


That is a good question, although they already expressed their concern about commuting at the interview, but I did argue it saying that alot of people commute from where I live and some commute further. Problem is, I can't move out till I've got a job so I can pay for somewhere to live. It's a viscious circle.

Also, the interview before this one changed their criteria after my interview. They had to get someone in for a temp for 6 months as someone was off work having chemo, so they needed someone to help in payroll. They weren't fussed about what payroll experience (I have client payroll experience - working at an accountants) whereas they do in-house and ex-pat payroll. Then they realised after that they do actually need someone with in-house and/or ex-pat payroll experience. They said that if they weren't under pressure to get someone in quick and it was just a case of recruiting someone extra, they would've offered me the job. I've had 2 recruitment agencies saying that there's nothing else I need to do to improve in my interviews...yet I'm still not getting the job. Very, very frustrating!
User avatar
sazzled
One of the Crowd
One of the Crowd
 
Posts: 65
Joined: Wed Jul 08, 2009 5:36 pm
Location: Essex
Gender: Female

Re: How do I stop taking things personally?

Postby Skarlet » Wed Sep 16, 2009 10:32 pm

There has got to be a way that you can impress more, agency staff (in my experience) aren't always the most honest- as they need you to go to interviews so they can say that found x number of people. Do you have any contact details for the people who interviewed you? could you phone and email and ask for some direct feedback?
User avatar
Skarlet
Permanent Fixture
Permanent Fixture
 
Posts: 1082
Joined: Tue Dec 09, 2008 4:41 pm
Gender: Female

Re: How do I stop taking things personally?

Postby sazzled » Tue Oct 27, 2009 9:17 pm

How do I get people to stop treating me like rubbish?

It's still happening. I'm being as assertive as I possibly can but it feels like they couldn't give a damn.
I'm so fed up.
User avatar
sazzled
One of the Crowd
One of the Crowd
 
Posts: 65
Joined: Wed Jul 08, 2009 5:36 pm
Location: Essex
Gender: Female

Re: How do I stop taking things personally?

Postby Bel Bel » Wed Oct 28, 2009 2:36 pm

Can you give some recent examples? In particular who is doing this?
It may be they are people who see you us unimportant, that is not nice but could be true if they are not close friends or relatives, not that it makes it ok but it makes a difference how you should deal with them or if you should even give any headspace to thinking about them at all
If of course it's people close to you who should not be treating you this way you really need to point out to them when they are being this way to you and ask why they do it
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

Cheap Pandora Charms UK

User avatar
Bel Bel
Fully Fledged Flatmate
Fully Fledged Flatmate
 
Posts: 6758
Joined: Thu May 10, 2007 1:58 pm
Location: Hertfordshire
Gender: Female

Re: How do I stop taking things personally?

Postby RagDoll » Thu Oct 29, 2009 2:34 pm

Obviously I don't know everything that's happened to you and/or recent examples of how people are treating you like rubbish, so I could be wrong here, but could it be that you're over-sensitive?

It's just that rubbishy things happen to everyone in their lives, you've got to accept that sometimes bad things do happen and people won't always treat you well. It's horrible, but it's a fact of life. The best you can do is surround yourself with nice, decent people who won't take the mick and ignore the nasty people!
We don’t see things the way they are; we see things the way we are
User avatar
RagDoll
Taken Root
Taken Root
 
Posts: 2101
Joined: Tue Dec 02, 2008 10:57 am
Location: North East England
Gender: Female

Re: How do I stop taking things personally?

Postby sazzled » Tue Nov 10, 2009 7:05 pm

RagDoll wrote:Obviously I don't know everything that's happened to you and/or recent examples of how people are treating you like rubbish, so I could be wrong here, but could it be that you're over-sensitive?

It's just that rubbishy things happen to everyone in their lives, you've got to accept that sometimes bad things do happen and people won't always treat you well. It's horrible, but it's a fact of life. The best you can do is surround yourself with nice, decent people who won't take the mick and ignore the nasty people!


Unfortunately, you're not the first person to suggest that I'm "over sensitive" but i'm constantly fed up of the same thing. I have no job, no confidence, no money, no close friends, both of my sisters live far away, I live at home with mum, stepdad and my brother - who has the most horrible attitude ever, is very, very, very spoilt and just doesn't know when to shut up. The only thing that keeps me slightly sane is seeing my boyfriend at the weekend - even then he gets frustrated with me because I'm miserable as I haven't got a job. It's been 7 months since I was made redundant. I've had 17 interviews and still nothing, with mixed feedback so it's confusing as I don't know where to improve on. I feel like i'm wasting my life. I can't afford to go out anywhere so I'm stuck indoors, in the same 4 walls day after day. Whenever I think about how pathetic my life is, I get upset.
User avatar
sazzled
One of the Crowd
One of the Crowd
 
Posts: 65
Joined: Wed Jul 08, 2009 5:36 pm
Location: Essex
Gender: Female

Re: How do I stop taking things personally?

Postby Bel Bel » Wed Nov 11, 2009 1:10 pm

What about an apprenticiship/ short course. You aren't earning anyway so what have you got to lose
At least at the end of it you will be qualified for something and it may help get your confidence back
You say you are miserable so maybe you are giving off this vibe in interviews without even realising it
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

Cheap Pandora Charms UK

User avatar
Bel Bel
Fully Fledged Flatmate
Fully Fledged Flatmate
 
Posts: 6758
Joined: Thu May 10, 2007 1:58 pm
Location: Hertfordshire
Gender: Female

Previous

Return to Mental wellbeing

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests

cron