help :|

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help :|

Postby loz2468 » Tue Oct 13, 2009 9:51 pm

this a really weird problem, but its all getting to much, and i dont know what to do.
up until i was about 12 i could talk to anyone really well and easily and it was just second nature to talk easily to virtually anyone. However, around the age of 12 i read a silly little article in a magazine about how people sometimes found the oldest child boring, and it was like something just clicked in my head and i just got really really paranoid and scared of how people viewed me.
It's 5 years later, and its just getting worse, i cant speak to anyone anymore without being paranoid they think im boring, and i cannot stand silences, i feel like i can't be myself around anyone, its horrible, i dread being on my own with even my closest friends, i dont understand why, im just too aware of the silences. its getting really stupid now, im missing out on chances to go out with people, just because im scared they wont like me cos im so scared of these silly silences i cant talk properly to them.

i know this is stupid, but has anyone got any advice AT ALL? xx
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Re: help :|

Postby Jo » Tue Oct 13, 2009 11:22 pm

Hi Loz,

I don't think your problem is weird at all and it's something that lots of people experience from time to time. Some people are able to brush off these feelings or hide them, while other people find it more difficult and can develop a social anxiety.

You said that this started to become a problem when you were 12. That could be because 12 is the age when children start to feel more self-conscious about themselves as they become teenagers. The magazine you were reading could have triggered these feelings just as they were about to emerge anyway.

It might help to read up on social anxiety to see if it matches what you're going through - sometimes it really helps to know that there are other people going through very similar things and that they do get through it! There are also some useful organisations listed with helplines that you can phone to talk to someone in confidence.

http://www.patient.co.uk/health/Phobia- ... Phobia.htm
http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthin ... hobia.aspx
http://psychology.iop.kcl.ac.uk/cadat/p ... hobia.aspx
http://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/condition_social.php
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