Another death

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Another death

Postby Bel Bel » Thu Oct 15, 2009 12:14 pm

My step mum has now died. She had cancer but her recent results were good and she was doing well. She died from an infection related to a problem with a recent hospital stay. I am so sad as we hoped she would live at least another year.
The only good things is she didn't have to face that horrible slow death that usually comes with cancer

This is my third funeral in a month. I am feeling very emotional about the whole thing and can't talk to anyone about it without getting upset :cry: I know it will get better in time but right now I am just so sad
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Re: Another death

Postby Skarlet » Thu Oct 15, 2009 12:30 pm

Oh Belbel, I am so very sorry for all your losses in such a short period of time. There isn't alot I can say. :grouphug: I am thinking of you.
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Re: Another death

Postby kerrie24 » Thu Oct 15, 2009 12:32 pm

Bel Bel,theres nothing much I can say either,just that im so sorry for your recent run of terrible luck and you are a very brave and strong woman to be dealing with it all.Sorry for your loss.
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Re: Another death

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Thu Oct 15, 2009 1:36 pm

Again nothing much to add to what Skarlet and Kerrie said; however we are all here if you need to talk/rant :)

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Re: Another death

Postby RagDoll » Thu Oct 15, 2009 1:38 pm

Really sorry to hear that Bel Bel :(
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Re: Another death

Postby captainf » Thu Oct 15, 2009 11:25 pm

I know we have spoken about this in PM but I just wanted to express my condolences here too.
I hope that you're okay, Bel Bel. I am very sorry for your loss and 3 funerals in a month is very harsh.
Hopefully though this will be the last one for quite a long time.
You and your family are in my thoughts.
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Re: Another death

Postby Bel Bel » Fri Oct 16, 2009 1:14 pm

Thanks all for caring. I know that no one can actually help we just have to get through this
It didn't help that my mum was going on about my grandad (98) as he is having some tests (possible stomach ulcer) and she was exagerrating what might be wrong with him and saying how dreadful it was going to be. I mean he hasn't even been diagnosed yet and she starts throwing cancer into the conversation. She was wallowing about when he dies and how bad it's going to be and how she was depressed about it. I tried telling her he is 98 he can't go on forever, he has to die eventually. I just found her dramatics inappropriate and had to really bite my tongue. :x
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Re: Another death

Postby snail » Fri Oct 16, 2009 2:21 pm

It's a shame she can't be more supportive of you, but it sounds like she's absorbed in her own fears and issues. Perhaps you and Mr Bel Bel, now that you are in a similar situation, can support each other :(

Have a hug for yourself :grouphug:

Then one to pass on to Mr Bel Bel :grouphug:

And another for your Dad :grouphug:

You don't have to tell them they came from us on the forum but make sure you pass them on.
How we spend our days is how we spend our lives.

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Re: Another death

Postby peecee » Fri Oct 16, 2009 4:47 pm

This definitely IS a year where, at the end of it, you won't wish everybody a Happy New Year, you'll be saying "thank goodness this year is over". :-?

I agree with snail - about your mum and about the hugs! :)

I don't need to tell you that people react to bad news in the strangest ways. The day after my mum died, my sister and I went to tell two old ladies, family friends. We broke the news, and one of the sisters (her name is Jean, but we call her Dippy Dora :o ) started talking about a racing driver who'd given her his autograph (they lived on the edge of Silverstone). We asked questions about the racing driver and treated her gently, because we thought she was in shock, like us. Then she started talking to the cuckoo in the cuckoo clock. When she went home, she said cheerfully to her sister, Kit, "I hope you have better news for me tomorrow!". Kit looked 20 years older with the news, but Dippy completely blanked it out. These days my sister and I ask each other "what good news have you got for me today?", and we think it's absolutely hilarious.

Of course it's not the same as your situation - but your mum IS blanking it out. At the moment, you know you won't get the type of support you might want from her; it might come later, but right now, you know you can rely on us.

Have another
:grouphug:

Lots of love
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