bulemia? heartache?

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bulemia? heartache?

Postby lilg1992 » Sun Dec 27, 2009 3:18 am

Basically in sept last year (08) i split with my boyfriend of a year and a half. it took me almost a year to get over him but now i'm over him, although whenever i think about him for too long i have nightmares and all my feelings come back whenever i see him. but now i'm scared to get into another relationship again cause it really hurt me when we split up as we havent spoken since and hes hurt me so much.
I am a size 14-16 and am pretty self conscious as he got me to this weight, i used to be a size 10 before he came along.
I used to never even think about sleeping with someone before i got into a relationship with them but the last month or so ive been acting really out of character.
ive slept with two guys who didnt mean anything to me, pretty much like 1 night stands but they were friends, and ive been making myself sick to lose weight. i hate doing it and i know how bad it is for me but ive been doing it for about 2 weeks now ever since i got prank calls being called fat and stuff like that.
i know i sound pathetic but i cant seem to get past all this. i used to be bulemic when i was 14 but my ex brought me out of it, the one who made me fat. but now i'm just left not knowing what to do and i'm worried about my mental health aswell as anything else.
help? advice would be lovely, i'm nearly 18.
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Re: bulemia? heartache?

Postby LME79 » Sun Dec 27, 2009 11:27 am

Hey there,

First things first, you've recognised that this is a problem rather than brushing it under the carpet which is a huge step in itself. The first thing I would advise you to do here, especially as you were bulemic in the past, is to make an appointment with a counsellor/your GP for referral.

As for your size, you don't say how tall you are but 14-16 is average for the British woman. That said, if you are unhappy with that then incorporate regular exercise into your routine such as dance. Not only will you lose weight, tone up but you'll have such a laugh and your confidence will be on the up sooner than you realise. It's also something that will just be you and no-one else which honestly feels great. You say that it was your ex that made you "fat" but please remember that a lot of people in settled and happy relationships tend to put on weight - completely normal! As for the prank calls, if they're still going on, make a note of when they happen and if they don't stop, contact your network provider to see if they can help.

Break ups make us do crazy things. I was an absolute mess. Apart from being sick, I was wandering around the house in floods of tears talking to myself pretending I was talking to my ex! I've also been partying a bit too much to try and forget about the pain but recently I went too overboard which made me take notice of my behaviour - am now off the party scene for a while until I get my head together. I'm a keen dancer and am starting a new class when the local studio opens again which will be better for me than drinking loads and will also take my mind off everything but in a good way as it'll give me something to really work on. I suggest that you find something similar and set yourself a personal goal - obviously doesn't have to be dance, it could be "I will run the Race For Life in 2010" and start training. That sort of thing.

The one night stands - were you drinking when they happened? Alcohol is fun but can also make us do crazy things - trust me, I know and I'm in my early 30s! If you were under the influence, have a month or so off alcohol to get your head straight - everyone does it in January. If you weren't then you really need to keep your will power strong and just say no.

Also consider keeping a diary - it really does help you file your thoughts into an orderly fashion. Just write whatever comes into your head and don't stop until you feel you can't write anymore. Don't worry about fancy wording or anything - you'll be the only person that reads it.

I hope the above helps. Good luck with everything - please promise that you'll see somebody regarding your eating habits.

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