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i'm obsessed with my weight

Posted: Tue Apr 20, 2010 7:35 pm
by Jemima
hi, i'm a 14 year old girl who is obsessed with my weight.
i'm not fat... just not skinny. everyone says i have an hourglass figure and people would love to have one like mine, but they dont understand how much i hate it. and i know i sound extreamly vein but i cant accept how i look. it gets me down all the time and i cant even bring myself to step on the scales. every morning and evening i look in my mirror and hate myself.
my best friend is petite and perfect so that doesnt help. another extreamly close friend of mine has a very high metabalism so she's very thin too but she eats more than i do and doesnt put on an ounce. i find it so unfair and my mum now looks like a model too as she recently lost 2 stone because she wasnt happy with how she looked. I feel so angry and upset every time i look at myself compared with my friends and when i go out i'm constantly looking at people and comparing their sizes to mine and trying to make myself feel better. it's also the swimming season now and i'm absolutely DREADING wearing my swimming costume. i dont know why because i know i'm not the biggest person in my class but i feel so embarsesed of how i look. i want to feel confident but i cant. it's been going on for about a year and a half to two years now. it makes me hate myself and it's just another thing to worry about on top of everything else. My dad has a joke about me eating cake (haha, he's pretty funny kind of person) and i play along with it but it upsets me and i love my dad so so so much and i know he's not doing it to spite me, just having a joke and i laugh along just fine's just makes me feel a bit insecure.
i just go through the same routine every day, get up, look at myself, hate myself,then in the evening when i get ready for bed i look in the mirror and hate myself again. i want to like how i look but i cant, no matter how positively i think i always envy other people. i know i sound like a self obsessed teenager but i cant help how i feel. please help! xx

Re: i'm obsessed with my weight

Posted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 11:09 am
by Bel Bel
Hi Jemima

I think you are very normal in your feelings and I was exactly the same at your age. Now creeping towards 40 I can tell you it is best to emrace what you have as soon as possible. Once you get older you will learn to be more accepting but menatime you are wasting years worrying about something you can't change fundemenatly. No surgery will make you that petite girl if you are naturally curvy. I too am curvy and have learnt to accept myself and realise we are just all different and lads like different shapes and sizes too.
When you get to my age you will look back and think why did I worry my body was great back then - trust me you will think it when your body is starting to age.
When you are a granny and wrinkly you will be amd at yourself for not making the best of you firm young body.
Stop looking in the mirror and critising yourself and concentrate on the things you do like. Remind yourself everyday of the good things about you.
You have to change your thinking to improve your self esteem.
If you can't do it on your own cognitive therapy is really helpful.
Perhaps you shoul tell your dad not to tease you anymore. Make a joke of it back when he says about cake and say something like "Watch what you say dad I am at a sensitive age about those kind of subjects" or "us girls don't like to be teased about our body shapes". I am pretty sure he will get the message without you having to have a deep and meaningful.

Re: i'm obsessed with my weight

Posted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 12:13 pm
by retrochav
We live in a world where the media and advertising world constantly tell us we arent good enough! If we werent convinced that we're too fat/skinny/ugly/small/tall etc. we wouldnt buy all the cosmetics/diet products/clothes/skin creams/shave gels etc. that keep the industry turning. The problem is that all too often we feel we've lost before we've started.

Just as women are bombarded with images of the "ideal" look, so are guys. I am constantly reminded that if i had a six pack/line free skin/ideal hair style and could fit a pair of jeans properly my life would be perfect. The truth is that confidence is the most attractive quality a guy or girl can have and that cannot be bought from a shelf.

While you obsess about your weight, you are forgetting the things you have that are beautiful already. I will be tottally honest with you, whatever size and build you are there will be someone whose look you prefer - thats life and it rarely changes. Drop that and look for something that is good in you. This might be your eyes - if so make them up so that you feel good (i do, even as a lad i wear more eye make up than Lady Gaga! It makes me feel confident) You might want to style your hair in a way that you like, or dress in a flattering way.

Anything that plays to your natural strength will make you feel confident. Stuff what your friend looks like - she may be petite but i bet she has hang ups too! Get your swimming costume on and to hell with anyone elses opinion - if they're that fussed, suggest they take a long hard look at themselves - they're ugliness goes to the bone!

Re: i'm obsessed with my weight

Posted: Tue May 04, 2010 6:14 pm
by whoopsie
I just want to repeat what Bel Bel said about your dad. You seem to have a good relationship with him so i think you should talk to him and ask him not to joke about your weight. I'm sure he'd hate to upset you.
I'm a bit like you atm, just 12 years older. I've put on 2 and a half stone in the last year, about a stone of that was needed. I'm not happy with how i look either. I'm trying to eat healthy and exercise often and that's the best i can do. I'm not going to starve myself cos i love eating and i need to accept that i'm me. I'm not a skinny bean, and i've been there, i looked hideous.