Obsessed?? Help!

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stressball
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Obsessed?? Help!

Post by stressball » Tue May 04, 2010 4:25 pm

Hey everyone - I have a bit of a problem I'd like to solve, it's been something that's been part of my personality ever since I can remember and this is going to sound strange!!

I can't give a name to it, all I can do is explain best I can so here goes! I'm obsessed with fitting everything into my day, e.g. cleaning the house, making sure everything is tidy and in it's place, making sure all the rooms in the house are decorated, doing any DIY jobs, etc. If I complete one project I automatically look for the next one and it seems like I'm picking faults in everything in order to get everything respectable/perfect. Does anyone have this problem?

It's only become a problem when I moved out of my parents house as I had everything done for me, washing/ironing,/cleaning etc. Now it's taking over my life, I can't sit still and just relax as I'm always thinking "that needs to be done". I'm driving my partner crazy as he is the complete opposite and I always joke that if he could, he's be happy sitting in his own filth. He complains that I should just chill out and that nobody expects our house to be perfect. My worst nightmare would be if someone came by unannounced and I haven't had chance to put everything away/hoover/clean bathroom!

Can anyone relate? It's starting to affect me - I just can't seem to switch off - all the time I'm at work I'm making a list as to what I can do when I get home and count down the hours until I can do it!!

Stressball x

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Bel Bel
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Re: Obsessed?? Help!

Post by Bel Bel » Tue May 04, 2010 4:37 pm

I can relate to this to a degree but you sound a lot worse than me. You have some type of ocd or compulsion disorder. The only way you will sort this out is with cognitive behaviour therapy. It won't go away completely but you will be able to get it under better control so you control it rather than it controlling you

At the moment it is consuming your life and therefore it is a problem that you really need to address.
You could start by asking yourself what would happen if I didn't do that task/job - what would be the consequences? Generally the answer will be nothing of any importance.
You will give yourself stress or aniexty problems if you allow it to continue as one day you might not be able to fit it all in, like when you have a baby or because something out of your control gets in the way (like your car breaking down)

There is nothing wrong with being organised but your partner is right you do need to be able to relax sometimes and get a good balance between the two
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Re: Obsessed?? Help!

Post by snail » Tue May 04, 2010 7:02 pm

This sort of need to control your environment is usually a sign of a deeper anxiety at some level. It's impossible for me to say what that is - as Bel said, you would probably need therapy to address that.
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RagDoll
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Re: Obsessed?? Help!

Post by RagDoll » Wed May 05, 2010 10:11 am

I can really relate to this - there's been times when I've thought it would be nice to see someone, but I've not suggested it, as I knew they'd more than likely come to ours and I've known I wouldn't really have time to clean the house before they'd turn up. As you can probably gather, I can be quite obsessed with how our house looks too. I would also hate it if someone came around unannounced.

I always thought this was just something I got from my Mum and Dad (they're house is always meticulously clean and tidy) and to some extent it is, but I don't know if it goes deeper than that. To some extent I can see that this is a control thing.

Sorry I don't have any advice to offer, what Bel Bel and Snail have said is probably right, just wanted to let you know I can relate!
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stressball
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Re: Obsessed?? Help!

Post by stressball » Wed May 05, 2010 5:14 pm

Hi BelBel, Snail & Ragdoll, thanks very much for your replies.

All your answers are very helpful - I think there is an underlying cause although I'm afraid to know what it is if you know what I mean! I've never had anything too bad in my life (touch wood) so I can't think of anything that would trigger it, although I remember when we first moved in and my parents came round, my mum turned her nose up because we fed our cat and the living room smelled of cat food - and I think that may have affected me somehow, although I think I've always been like that ever since I can remember. I've been speaking to my partner about this, this afternoon and bless him he said he can't understand why I'm like I am because he doesn't think that way but he knows I'm different!

Thank you x

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