Warning! - rant alert - weight loss dilemma

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Warning! - rant alert - weight loss dilemma

Postby stressball » Tue Dec 21, 2010 8:50 pm

Hi All, I'm not expecting any replies to this "rant" but thought I'd feel so much better getting down on paper what's going on my head!!

All my life, I've struggled with my weight. Put simply, I am greedy, and tend to eat even when I'm full, almost to the point of feeling ill. I have a strange addiction to crisps and any kind of stodgy dinners, like pasta. I hate fruit, vegetables or salad - the sight and smell and salad and veg makes me physically ill at the smells they give off.

I am getting married next July, so figured I have 6 months to lose 2 stone. But I have absolutely no idea of how to rouse my motivation to do it. Im my head I keep thinking "eat less, move more" but in my heart, It really isn't so simple. By the time I get home and do all the housework for the day (I have an obsession with keeping my house tidy and clean) I am exhausted so tend to have a bath and go to bed. Therefore, don't have the energy to even think about exercise. I have tried exercise before, and found I am not only over-tired the next morning, but have got terrible cramps in my legs that keep me awake at night. I have tried cutting down on all "bad" foods, but find it doesn't leave me with much choice at all as I am a fussy eater!

My dad has just been diagnosed with having high cholesterol and I've been told it's hereditary and the way I'm going, could end up the same way, and a lot sooner...

Excuse the list I'm about to write, just wanted to get it down on paper!

Pros to losing weight: healthier, lower cholesterol, skin clearer, looking good, feeling more confident, having great wedding pics

Cons to losing weight: setting myself up for a fall for not keeping same weight as wedding pics (know i will end up big all my life), miserable for the next 6 months, going against my natural body shape

I know all this probably sounds pathetic. Even when I'm reading what I'm writing now, I know, that as a normal person with no eating problems, I'd think I was a bit of a loser!! I'm making pathetic excuses when really all I need to do is be healthier for my own sake, as well my fiance.

My fiance loves me the way I am - I know that for a fact, as our love life has stayed the same regardless of my size (we met when we were 18 and I was "normal" weight!) so that isn't an issue.

It's like I'm fighting with myself all the time. I find if i do cut down I seriously crave the foods I cut out - so much so I feel almost faint (pathetic!) if I don't eat something or within 2 hours of the last meal. It's almost like I'm on drugs - as soon as I eat said food, I feel calmer, more relaxed, until the next "hit".

I really don't know what to do. I'm planning to start a diet plan as of January, but I don't know where to start. I've tried the rigid diet, where I eat at specific times, have specific foods, etc but I just go against it and "break free". My fiance is the complete opposite to me, where sometimes he forgets to eat and has no issues with food, so, bless him, he doesn't understand. I think deep down he thinks I'm a pathetic food addict that just needs to kick the habit!! I have thought about joining an aerobics club but I am so shy, I hate meeting new people and plus financially my partner and I are not doing that well and have to save money! So can't afford any diet clubs or gym memberships, etc!! (not that I'd want to show my flabby body off in the gym!!)

Anyway, that's my story. If you've got to the end, thank you for reading. It's made me feel better just writing it down!!!

Stressball x
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Warning! - rant alert - weight loss dilemma

Postby Skarlet » Tue Dec 21, 2010 11:25 pm

Hi Stressball,

I don't know if they are everywhere but I am in Brighton and in the groups and associations there is a Food Anonymous group. They might be able to help without cost.

Are you unhappy about anything? Have you talked to your doctor? They might be able to help.

Good luck
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Re: Warning! - rant alert - weight loss dilemma

Postby Bel Bel » Wed Dec 22, 2010 12:24 pm

Have you thought about hypnotism? I know some people it has really helped. It taps into the unconcious mind and one girl got made to believe that the bad foods really tasted awful and it worked. The only time she feel off the wagon was when she was drunk and she was told that was because her mind was fogged and the clarity of what she had been told in the hypnotism was lost whilst intoxicated.
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Re: Warning! - rant alert - weight loss dilemma

Postby RagDoll » Wed Dec 22, 2010 4:02 pm

Stressball, I mostly wanted to post to say that I can empathise with how you feel. I feel like I am in a constant battle with myself about losing weight and I too find it hard to get motivated.

I totally agree that food can be addictive - I think the issue is psychological. I think it's just like being addicted to anything, I can stop doing it for a while, but I always go back to it. What I (and possibly you?) need to do is address the psychology behind it. Doing that is hard though - I haven't a clue how/where to start changing my mindset. I certainly know that I use food as a 'crutch' - if I'm down or bored I'll eat. Sometimes I almost feel I 'deserve' food because I've had a hard day etc.

I wish I could offer you a solution, but I haven't found one myself!
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Re: Warning! - rant alert - weight loss dilemma

Postby chosenfew » Wed Dec 22, 2010 5:38 pm

Hi stressball

I think you need a wake up call and start to think about your health. Not only may you get the things you say but you may also have a heart attck before your time. I hate to say that but it's true. I'm a believer that diets are no good but you do need to cut out food. Crisps mainly. How about just cutting one thing out at a time? Crisps being a main? Also I'm not sure if you eat late at night but how about not eating after 8pm? That will also help. My friend is in the same position as you with regards to food and weight and she loves food too mich to really diet but she's not getting married in a few months.

You need to stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about your parter. Easier said than done thou eh? Do you really wanna get your wedding pictures back and in a few years not even wanna look at them coz your embarressed about how you looked? That day should be the best in your life not consisting of you feeling uncomfortable in what your wearing.

Have you heard of slimming pills? You can get them online. Maybe try these till your wedding if all else fails.

Hope this helped x
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Warning! - rant alert - weight loss dilemma

Postby Skarlet » Wed Dec 22, 2010 8:25 pm

Please don't take slimming pills bought online. That's a really bad idea. You have no idea what are in them, you don't know what damage they can do and they don't change the reasons behind your eating.

I think it's an emotional response to food as Ragdoll said, I use food in a similar way. I think that your best bet is not to cut out everything, but be clever about what you eat. By banning things you are just going to want them more.
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Re: Warning! - rant alert - weight loss dilemma

Postby snail » Wed Dec 22, 2010 9:00 pm

Skarlet wrote:Please don't take slimming pills bought online.

I agree!

What strikes me from your post is how hard you are on yourself. . . you talk about being "greedy" "pathetic" "a loser" etc etc. It's going to be hard to change anything if you are beating yourself up about it to that extent - how can you get in touch with your own reasons for eating, or feel positive about changing your weight with all those negative thoughts going on? You've belittled and undermined yourself before you've begun. So you use food as a psychological crutch - so what? That's so common it's practically normal, it's not a crime, and it's less harmful than smoking or drinking alcohol. Perhaps overeating has helped you get through things that you otherwise wouldn't have been able to get through - perhaps it was in fact the sensible option.

The question is, is there another way (or ways) that you can de-stress, or other ways you can reward yourself? What is food helping you do, and could you help yourself in any other way? Perhaps over-eating helped you get through things in the past, but now you're older you might find you no longer need to do it? What parts of your soul are in pain, and is the eating helping you ignore these, when you would be better off facing up to them?

Practical points:
You say you love to do housework - could you wear small weights while you do it and do it in as energetic a way as possible, and thus make the housework itself your work-out? For example, I brush the floors vigorously by hand instead of using a hoover - burns calories, is quieter, and is more 'green' (you can get hand brushes which automatically collect the dust inside a detachable box). I'm sure you could think of more things to do like that. I think I've even heard of 'housework work-out' DVDs that give you ideas - maybe take a look online for one of these.

You say you don't like certain healthy foods - well, as I discovered about 15 years ago when I had to drastically change my diet, you don't eat what you like, you like what you eat. That is to say, if you eat something regularly you will grow to like it - food preferences in humans are mostly a learned behaviour. Why not pick one healthy food, and try to eat it regularly until it becomes part of your regular diet?
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Re: Warning! - rant alert - weight loss dilemma

Postby stressball » Thu Dec 23, 2010 9:50 pm

Hi All,

Thanks to all of you who took the time to reply to my very long-winded post! You've all each given me (excuse the pun!) food for thought. I agree Snail, I do use food as a pyschological crutch I think - although this is the first time someone has told me that it's not a crime, for ages I've been beating myself up about it!

I definately will try eating other foods, my diet is very limited (and possibly slightly ignorant) to what other choices there are, I might even surprise myself! :) I definately like the idea of vigourous housework being a calorie burner, Snail! Lose weight and complete chores sounds like a great multi-tasking idea to me :)

I agree Skarlet, in the way that I do tend to want food more if I ban it. I guess I need to limit and eat healthier options rather than cutting out completely. I definately have experience in this area and banning makes me want it all the more! :( and I'll read up on the Food Anon Group, thank you for the suggestion. As far as I know, I'm happy with most things, although my relationship with my sister and best friend have taken a turn for the worse lately, but this is only recently so I don't think that's to blame.

Thanks for giving me a much-needed wake-up call Chosen Few. You're right, I need to think about others rather than satisfying my own indulgences. I seriously need to do something about my diet NOW so I can do something about it before it's too late. I moan at my partner for smoking, but I'm probably just as bad, and neither habit is good for our health! And I want more than ever looking at my wedding pics knowing I look the best I can possibly look and that's definately going to be a goal of mine.

Thanks for your input, Ragdoll. I am glad there are other people having similar problems to me. I agree - I do eat when I'm bored. I tend to find that if I'm really busy I don't actually think about eating until my stomach rumbles! Maybe keeping myself busy or at least distracted would solve the problem a little.

Hi Belbel - I read up on hypnotism today, mentioned it to my partner, I'm going to see if I can get a free consultation asap. My partner is not keen on the idea as she says it will cost a lot of money, but I assured him I would get a quote first and then see if we can afford it. So we'll see how that goes :)

I didn't expect so many replies, you've all been a great help. Just goes to show there are some nice people out there :)
I will definately combat this, sooner or later. I don't want to be miserable for the rest of my life. Life's too short and we're only here once! And bearing in mind there are people with much worse problems than me, I should be thankful this is a problem I can solve and change for the better!

Thanks again,
Stressball
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Re: Warning! - rant alert - weight loss dilemma

Postby chosenfew » Fri Dec 24, 2010 1:38 pm

Hay stressball.

No problem with the replies. That's what we are all here for. Hope everyone really have helped you and it can make you feel more positive about the situation. I go to councilling about some things in my life and iv done a list I'm thinking maybe you should do one. In one collum put reasons why you think you can't loose weight and reasons why you can. The pros should out do the cons. For example with you you could put.... One reason you think you can't is because you've tried before but failed. A reason you can loose the weight is because deep down maybe you haven't given it 100% and another main thing is because it's your wedding soon and you wanna look extra special for yourself and your husband. There is 2 to 1 already!!! Don't know if this would help you but maybe try it coz putting it down on paper might make it all seem more realistic??

Just a thought x
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Re: Warning! - rant alert - weight loss dilemma

Postby stressball » Sat Dec 25, 2010 10:54 pm

Hi Chosenfew,

What a great idea - I'll definately start doing that in the next week or so :) I hope you have had a great Christmas Day - I was so pleased as I told my partner about my weight situation and he made sure he didn't buy my anything that could tempt me - which makes me life a whole lot easier (and the food was replaced by expensive jewellery - even better!)

I find it helps when I write things down, so I'll give that a go. I also hope if anyone reads this who has the same problem it may help them too! x
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Re: Warning! - rant alert - weight loss dilemma

Postby rufio89 » Wed Dec 29, 2010 5:56 pm

Someone gave me this advice for anything long-term youre trying to focus on (mine was going running).

Get yourself an year-view wall planner and stick it up somewhere obvious, where you'll see it everyday.

For everyday you do the thing youre trying to focus on (so either eat more healthily, introduce a new food etc, obviously mine was to go for a run), then put a big red cross (or a gold star or whatever) on the day. Eventually you start to see a pattern build up, and it makes you feel good to see the pattern, and so youre less likely to fall OUT of the pattern.

Obviously it wont work for anyone, but I did find it very helpful.
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Re: Warning! - rant alert - weight loss dilemma

Postby stressball » Wed Dec 29, 2010 8:50 pm

Great idea Rufio89 - I think mine might be to exercise for at least 30 mins a day, whether that be walking, or my aerobics video :) thanks for the advice x
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