Angry Feelings

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Angry Feelings

Postby sazzie22 » Sun Jan 02, 2011 2:25 am

Just over two years ago I was sexually abused by my ex boyfriend. (I was 16) And I was always violently bullied at school and even carrying on to the present day. Ever since, I have felt really strong feelings of anger and depression. I have a boyfriend now who I have been with almost two years. He is wonderful, but I'm scared he will finish with me if I carry on feeling like this. He has hinted that I need to change...
We often get into arguments because I feel so worried he will hurt me or put me second best.

I really can't seem to shake off these feelings of anger, stress and paranoia. I get violent, but I never hit people. I usually just hit objects or walls, and have even taken it out on myself (self harmed). I'm at a loose end and really want to save my relationship and make new friends but everyone thinks I'm this horrible person, and I'm really not.

Please can anyone help me? :cry:
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Re: Angry Feelings

Postby retrochav » Sun Jan 02, 2011 4:14 pm

Hello

You have taken the first step to making a change simply by talking to us about it. The next step is to talk to a qualified counsellor. You can get this free by telling your GP that you have been the victim of a terrible incident and you need to talk it through as it is ruining your life. The waiting list does drag on, but it would show your boyfriend that you seriously want things to be different. The Haven or Womens Aid can also offer assistance, and their contact details are online. Similar assistance exists for gay, or hetrosexual males who have been sexually assaulted.

Your deppression and anger are normal reactions to being violated by someone who you should have been able to trust and feel safe with. Those feelings are being vented at people in effort to say "no one will ever do this to me again". Whilst understandable, the man who abused you is still doing it - he is controlling your ability to enjoy present and future because of his past actions. The only way forward is to break the connection between people close to you and abusive situations.

Therefore talking about it with a trained counsellor starts the healing process and banishes the guys power to control your feelings.
whatever your problem someone else has been there and bears the scars.
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