I cannot switch off

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I cannot switch off

Postby LME79 » Sun Feb 13, 2011 11:13 pm

Hi again. I've had a problem since I was a child where I find it difficult to switch my mind off, particularly at weekends where I need to switch off the most, and but now it's getting to the point where I'm almost finding it impossible to switch off which is now causing me sleeping problems. I can't really put my finger on what it is as I've always been like it - this weekend I visited my parents in order to relax a bit but even when I was lying on the sofa yesterday evening I kept thinking about various bits and bobs I had to get back to at work which got my brain whirring which was the last thing I wanted. In the past I've tried meditation (my mind kept wandering, no matter how hard I tried); visualising idyllic places (didn't work - I honestly find it impossible to imagine an idyllic paradise without something like an office block getting in the way) and keeping a diary (sort of worked but also stressed me a bit whilst writing it). I've just gotten off the phone with my boyfriend and I asked him if he thought I was too hectic and he said "yes, if I'm honest" (which is what I was expecting) ... I just want to be able to relax but I don't know how. I've been to spas and had massages which are brilliant, but the effects are obviously only temporary and I can't afford to do that on a regular basis.

Anyone else had this before and conquered it; if so, how did you do it?
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Re: I cannot switch off

Postby snail » Mon Feb 14, 2011 10:35 pm

Meditation and visualisation take practice - like any exercise, you get better at it the more regularly you do it. You also have to find an image/idea/idyllic place that's right for you (for example, I have a strong connection to the natural world, so my relaxation visualisation involves imagining myself growing roots and drawing on the earth's strength etc). Other than that, is there any underlying reason you might be anxious?
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Re: I cannot switch off

Postby LME79 » Tue Feb 15, 2011 11:03 pm

Thanks, snail. I'll definitely keep trying meditation. Visualisation I find very, very difficult. I try to imagine the places I've been to on holiday, where I've felt genuinely relaxed and I still can't do it. I will keep practising, though - guess I didn't think of it as exercise! :)

I personally think it's work. I just read my 'quarter life crisis' thread and have actually achieved what I wanted (i.e. I'm getting my own place at the end of April, my boyfriend and I are discussing living together and I managed to move departments at work). So yeah, everything's worked out, but work is always the one thing that gets me (when I was younger it was school). I'm bridging a gap at the moment (working between two departments) and I know it's going to be temporary but even though the work isn't difficult I'm unhappy. I know I shouldn't be, but I am. And I guess that troubles me because I feel like I don't have the right to be unhappy, when I know I could be far worse off. I'm going in an hour early so I can create time for myself and not feel stressed but, like I said to my boyfriend earlier, I'm not stressed - I'm inexplicably frustrated. Interestingly, I wrote something like I don't know whether I'm chasing a non-existent ideal, work wise, and I'm worried that this is the case. I've lost a lot of confidence lately, career wise, because of the way two of the managers used me to do their donkey work (I totally believe I was missold the role as the job description I received was far more senior) .. but even though I'm moving out from under their contact I'm doubting my abilities. And that is sometimes what keeps me awake. Whether I'm good enough. I constantly have a back-of-the-mind niggle that I'm going to be "found out" one day; that I fluked my way to where I am, even though I've worked hard.

i think I even managed to garble that!
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Re: I cannot switch off

Postby snail » Tue Feb 15, 2011 11:47 pm

LME79 wrote: I constantly have a back-of-the-mind niggle that I'm going to be "found out" one day; that I fluked my way to where I am, even though I've worked hard.

God, I think everyone worries about that! I know I certainly do, all the time.

Sounds like it might be worth while working through what your job means to you, how much it meets your deeper needs, and how much you feel success in this area defines you.

I personally prefer fantasy places to memories when I'm doing relaxation, as they have no associations with them, but it will be different for everyone. You need to do what really works for you; it needs to be a place or an idea that brings you complete peace.
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