HELP URGENTLY NEEDED

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HELP URGENTLY NEEDED

Postby ennis81 » Tue Apr 12, 2011 12:16 pm

Hi everyone, need urgent replies to this as I feel very lost
My oldest sister tried to commit suicide again on Mothers Day, She threw herself from a 40ft window and has multiple breaks, she is a recovering alcoholic and drug abuser with mental health issues going back 20 odd years, this is her 3rd suicide attempt.
She has completely broken my parents hearts this time and they are in pieces, I let my dad come with me once to the hospital in the last 9 days and he was so upset I couldn't bear to see him like that so I told him I would deal with the visiting until he and my mother felt like they could handle it, Dad is 68 now and my Mum is 72 they are too old to be dealing with this anymore, she has caused so much trouble over the years that my other sisters just don't want to know, they hate her and I don't blame them (1 is pregnant and has 4 kids under 9 already and the other sister recently diagnoised with MS), But I am the youngest and have kinda been left shouldering this, I'm not sure I'm able for it myself but am trying to be strong
My life although not terrible has been quite stressful lately with work, relationship, health (had bi-opsey for cervical cancer and am waiting on results) and now obvious serious family issues.
Since my sisters sucicide attempt I have been extremely stressed as well as realising I have become a liitle bit too dependent on my few glasses of wine every night to help ease the stress and help me sleep, haven't drank in 3 days now as I really started to think.... what if I am becoming an alcoholic myself? and I starting thinking what if I develop mental health problems myself? Last night I was thinking about all my worries and actually felt like my head might burst, I feel a bit brighter today, but really needed to get all this off my chest, I have enough to worry about without thoughts about goin crazy myself, Please tell me I'm not losing the plot :(
I don't expect anyone to be able to help me sort this out but any kind or inspirational words would be hugely appreciated right now
Thank you for reading
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Re: HELP URGENTLY NEEDED

Postby Skarlet » Tue Apr 12, 2011 12:33 pm

Hey Ennis,

I am so sorry you are going through such a terrible time, I don't think you are going mad, and you are just having one of those times.

Have you researched if there is any help out there to support you? It might help get all the stuff that is running through your head an outlet and also give you some support to deal with the issues you are facing.

Not a lot of help, but hugs to you.

Skarlet.
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Re: HELP URGENTLY NEEDED

Postby ennis81 » Tue Apr 12, 2011 12:49 pm

Thank you Scarlet, thank u so much for tellin me I'm not going crazy, I was so worried last night, I knew I needed to come here for some support
I am so busy at the min I really dont have time for support groups, I barely have time to eat sometimes I am running around that much, I am a single mother to an 8yr old and I run a business. I have visting, social workers and pyschatrists to deal with about my sis, She has broken ankles, pelvis, hip, breaks in her back and shoulders she had major surgery yesterday on the hip, not only with she have her mental problems but it is unlikely she will ever walk properly again, I have so much going on my life feels very difficult and I'm very bad at asking ANYONE for help, I hate to seem weak, I have wonderful friends and extended family but I make out I am coping fine because I hate to worry anyone and find it hard to communicate how I am feeling at the moment.....
I suppose I just need some tips at how to deal with this extremely stressful time, any more advise is greatly appreciated
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Re: HELP URGENTLY NEEDED

Postby Skarlet » Tue Apr 12, 2011 1:03 pm

I think to cope with this, you need to admit you need help. It is okay to be weak, to need support especially at times like this. You will get through it, but you will need all the support and help from your friends and family to help keep you safe.

One of the things I would do, is make sure you are making time for you. Make sure you get lunch, sometimes we get so carried away with trying to fit everything in, we forget to take care of ourselves. You need to do that. It will help you cope if you look after yourself.
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Re: HELP URGENTLY NEEDED

Postby snail » Tue Apr 12, 2011 1:22 pm

You sound as though you're suffering from the effects of severe stress, Ennis :( Nothing you've written (either here or in any other thread) suggests you have mental health problems.

Of course I can understand your wish to protect your parents, but in fact this is their problem more than it is yours, as she's their daughter. It isn't right that you should shoulder it for them. Being older often makes people more robust, not less, as they have learned to cope, and they are not that old. They also presumably don't have jobs to worry about. If you need them to help, I think you should ask them. Otherwise you're going to end up ill yourself, and then you won't be able to be any help to anyone anyway, so better to ask for help now. The social workers and psychiatrists should be visiting them, not you.

I think overall you need practical help, to give you more time to relax and to be able to feel less like you're carrying all the troubles on your own. Ask your parents and your siblings if they can help with your sister - explain that you're too upset/busy. If they say no, ask the social workers and psychiatrists what more help there is. Can your child's father look after him a bit more than usual, to give you a break? Could anyone else help with the business?
How we spend our days is how we spend our lives.

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Re: HELP URGENTLY NEEDED

Postby ennis81 » Tue Apr 12, 2011 1:49 pm

Thank you Snail, my poor parents deserve a break, they have been dealing with this for too long now, and my mother is still recovering from a major surgery and dad has severe high blood pressure, I am worried that my dad could have a heart attack or something, he is a very strong man normally and a wonderful father but I have never seen him so sad :( I am unfortunately the only person who can step in and deal with this, they absolutley need me to take this burden from them now, I having been trying to help my sisters situation for years and I knew it was only a matter of time before she would do something else, I just wish I could help her, but at this stage it just seems like such a lost cause but also something I cant walk away from.

My boss owns a pub abroad so is over running that and I am needed to run the business here, peoples jobs depend on me, I run it solely myself so no one else to take over, and my childs father is wonderful he is great support, but I don't want my little girl seeing Mammy not being her happy smiley self, why should any of this affect her little life? I was supposed to take her to the funfair on Mothers Day, instead i spent the day in the hospital, had to tell her that her Aunty had fallen down some stairs
Thanks for also tellin me I'm not going mad, I was so scared that I was, I hadn't even really noticed my drinking wine had gone a little out of control but I have a handle on that now
Last edited by ennis81 on Tue Apr 12, 2011 2:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: HELP URGENTLY NEEDED

Postby ennis81 » Tue Apr 12, 2011 1:53 pm

Since I posted this I even feel a little better for getting it off my chest how I'm feeling and recognising how I'm feeling, Thank you Snail and Skarlet you have helped a lost person feel a bit brighter xx
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