Dealing with stress or frustration

For problems with mental or emotional well being.
Forum rules
NEW USERS HAVE TO WAIT FOR THEIR FIRST POSTS TO BE APPROVED BY AN ADMINISTRATOR. Rules | Essential Information | FAQ | Support | Twitter

Dealing with stress or frustration

Postby LME79 » Mon Jun 13, 2011 10:39 pm

Hi all,

I know I've posted something about stress before but I cannot find it :( Anyway, just interested to know how everyone deals with stress and/or frustration in their lives, be it work or personal life. I rarely stress in my personal life (now) and when I do I can deal with it absolutely fine.
Work, on the other hand, is a different matter. I'm having a few problems at work which I have voiced but I don't feel I'm being listened to. I've mentioned it on other threads before but never as the main focus. Essentially I applied for an internal vacancy six months ago and got the job; at the time I agreed to help out the other department as an interim solution but six months on, I'm still the key contact for this job. Clients haven't been told (I haven't been allowed to tell them) so when they request something and I can't deliver on time, I panic. Add to this that the supposed higher management that are supposed to lead haven't got a clue what they're doing (I don't mean that in a nasty way - they just literally don't know how the systems work and have refused to learn more), I feel very unsupported. As I say, I have voiced this to four different people now, including the person at the very top, but it's all words and no actions. The phrase "you won't be doing this for much longer" has been uttered way too many times and I feel like an idiot that I haven't dealt with it properly, though to be fair it isn't for the want of trying.

Anyway, because I hate to be seen like I can't cope, I tend to deal with work issues by taking it all on the chin and trying to fix things myself. As I'm doing the work of two people at certain times of the month, and having to deal with someone that loves to play the blame game (i.e. it's ALWAYS my fault if things mess up), I get very stressed that I can't deliver and end up crying. Today I cried twice before 10.30am in the morning and once was in front of three male co-workers, two of whom were director level. I feel really ashamed of myself for not holding it together and the reason I cried is because somebody had threatened that we'd lose a portion of business and that portion of the business still has my name 'attached' to it, seeing as I haven't been allowed to tell the client that I've moved department. I'm not asking for thanks or public acknowledgment from anyone, I just want the stress to dissipate - but in the meantime I want to be able to deal with it in a way that isn't bursting into tears.

The funny thing is, I have a LOT more work on in the newer job role but because that team is well managed and well organised, I feel the stress at times but I handle it by just blitzing my work and getting things done. It feels like an impossible task with the other and I'm scared that my professional reputation is getting tarnished.

Help!
I want to be..a tree..
User avatar
LME79
Moderator
Moderator
 
Posts: 1926
Joined: Sat Dec 18, 2004 9:44 pm
Location: The edge of reason
Gender: Female

Re: Dealing with stress or frustration

Postby Ticktock » Tue Jun 14, 2011 6:32 am

As you have found in a business environment words are cheap!

I presume the agreement to do the other job temporarily was an informal agreement rather than contractual, and for the company it must be great as they now only have to pay one person for two jobs so they won't willingly give it up.

First stop talking and start writing, formalise your communication with the company, send it recorded delivery to ensure a record of receipt is kept. Write in your letter about the temporary nature of your agreement to cover this job and about the bullying behaviour of your line manager and set a clear time limit on how much longer you will tolerate the situation. See what response you get, and don't accept verbal feedback, demand it in writing, with another letter if need be.

Once you have that response go for a consultation with an employment lawyer, my guess is he will recommend using an employment tribunal next as your employer is clearly breaching your contract by giving you extra uncontracted work, let along getting you to lie to clients which they are hardly treating with respect.

If it moves to that stage most employers will back down, you after all are a good employee who has just been taken advantage of.
User avatar
Ticktock
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
 
Posts: 352
Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2011 8:01 am
Gender: Male

Re: Dealing with stress or frustration

Postby LME79 » Thu Jun 23, 2011 9:33 pm

Thanks, TickTock (love that film, btw :))

I've actually been looking for alternative employment and today I found out I am the owner of a brand new job which is great :) Very scared but very excited too. However I am looking into ways to alleviate stress and banish the 'bad stress' for good as I'm set for a very busy time. Though the company is very structured and nurtures the staff so I doubt I'll get THAT bad but just in case.

I was actually at the point where I was going to call ACAS and seek legal advice when the new job turned up so thanks again for your advice :)
I want to be..a tree..
User avatar
LME79
Moderator
Moderator
 
Posts: 1926
Joined: Sat Dec 18, 2004 9:44 pm
Location: The edge of reason
Gender: Female


Return to Mental wellbeing

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron