want to hurt my self

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want to hurt my self

Postby saramidnite » Tue Sep 27, 2011 1:47 pm

hi

i just to self harm, after i ran away 10years ago frim hime as my parents and step dad abuse me
and after losing my baby.

i havent self harmed in 5years i am proude of that.
but some times i want to
i wont acually do it i am just so stressed and feel apart from my bf no one really cares.

my so call friends havent stayed in touch since i move home. nor some of my family, ii always though i was the odd one out.
i love my bf more then any thing he helps me get threw how i feel but some times he belames him self as i moved to be with him and i then feel even worest for telling him how i feel.

i now being bullied at work. cant find any other work. im at my wits end.
anti depressents dont really work for me ive got a medical condition which can trigger bous of depression with it.
i also got bad news yesterday and i just broke down.
i always seam to want to run away from pain in stead of face it.
i just cant handle it.
i freak out. cry lots and get up set and dont want to do any thing.
and stop eating on and off.

ive tried counciling and doc over the years but i still the same.
my bf says i make him very happy but i not sure how when i am so useuless.
i feel i am not good enough for any thing or any one right now.

i cant take the tablets i use to for my condition as i have a risk of getting blood clots, which i almost died from 2 years ago. i wasnt to bad when i had the tablets as i didnt have the abouts of depression as much. now i am not on them i tend to get the depression more often. docs just try and give me differnet anti depression but it dont seam to help. cbt is brillant as i had the course before but they dont have it where i live.
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Re: want to hurt my self

Postby pink stripes » Tue Sep 27, 2011 8:37 pm

Hi saramidnite,

I'm sorry you're not feelingh on top of the world rightt now but I bet with getting lots off of your chest you're feeling at least a bit better! Well I hope so, anyway.

You have every right to feel proud of yourself for not self harming for 5 yars, thats REALLY good, well done!

People do care, your BF carres and we do on here, too.

Regarding work and the bullying, is there anyone you can speak to about this? Maybe record a log of things?

Not everyone benefits from counselling, so my advice would b to find something that you do benefit from. Something healthy that allows you to de-stress adn feel good about yourself, giving yourself a confidence at the same time! Have you tried jogging? Reading? Exercise classes etc?
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Re: want to hurt my self

Postby Bel Bel » Fri Oct 07, 2011 3:22 pm

I'm sorry you aren't feeling too good.
I too hope you aren't as bad as when you wrote this
I think it may be worth talking to the citizens advice about the bullying and how to handle that.
I agree with Pink stripes about finding something to make you feel good but also perhaps join a class or club where you might get to meet other people too so you can make new friends. If the first place doesn't work out try something out
I don't think your friends don't like you anymore it's just your far away and they are getting on with there thing so you have just grown apart. Don't take that as a personal insult it just happens that way.
Try not to take it out on your b/f, remember he hasn't let you down.
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

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