I think I'm cracking up!

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I think I'm cracking up!

Postby highlandcow » Sun Oct 02, 2011 10:06 pm

Hello all,

This probably belongs in here since it seems to cover a whole range of things....
I just feel like I'm cracking up, nothing seems to be going right for me at the moment.

I've just started a new job which is full on busy every day and I only get a half hour break each day. I work from 8-5. I'm so tired all the time, it's getting so hard to drag myself out of bed to face the world when I know I'm just going to be sitting at my desk for ages and then crawling home. By the time I get home, I'm so tired I don't want to do anything with the evening. If my friends call, I do go out but often I can't stop thinking about leaving to go home. And then when I am at home, I want to be doing something with my free time.

Add to that, I've just found out I have to have an operation. Not a serious one, but I'll be out of work for about a month. This makes me worry that I'll forget all the trainign I've just had, as I only started this job a month ago. Also, being cooped up at home probably isn't going to do much for my state of mind.

And to THAT.....my aunt has just had a masectomy as she has cancer, and now my Mum is having a biopsy on Tuesday as there was something "abnormal" on her latest scan. This is driving me out of my mind not only worrying about them both but also about my own future.

I try to talk to my boyfriend (background: he's 20, I'm 25, he's at Uni) about this, but as he's still at Uni he is stressed himself about that. Plus he just seems to be content with seeing his mates there, mainly girls. I try to be understanding and not whine on about things, but sometimes I selfishly think "I'd love someone to ask how I'm feeling about this stuff!" Is that selfish? Probably. I try not to be, but I feel like I'm going mad. He does look after me, but when he's away it feels like he's just itching to get back to his friends. I feel so left out when I hear about all the things he's been up to. It's petty I know, but I can't help it. He didn't do to well emotionally in his first year and hardly had any friends. I was really there for him and he says he couldn't have pulled through it without me to talk to. And now it feels like I'm the one who needs help and I'm not really getting it back.

I live by myself, I'm getting so lonely, but I can't take in a lodger, the place is far to small.

I hope someone can help, it feels like I'm going out of my mind. Everything seems to have gone wrong at once and I don't know how to deal with it. :-({|=

Thanks.
Go to Glasgow at least once in your life and have a roll and square sliced sausage and a cup of tea. When you feel the tea coursing over your spice-singed tongue, you'll know what I mean when I say:
'It's good to be alive!'"

- Billy Connolly
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highlandcow
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Re: I think I'm cracking up!

Postby u_l_g » Sun Oct 02, 2011 11:50 pm

Hiya
Sorry to hear about your problems. You sound like a smart nice person who certainly a lot has happened to recently. I don't think I can give any answers really but I just wanted to say you are not alone. I've been in the same position with the tiredness of starting a new job and living alone so I know exactly how you feel on that one. Allow yourself the time you need to relax but keep in touch with your friends so you can join them when tour feeling better. Maybe you could explain to them how you've been feeling and invite them over to yours for a more low key get together? One thing I can definitely advise you that will happen is it will change. Everything does. Whether you want it to or not! So you may be feeling like you are cracking up now but it won't last. Eventually something will happen to make things better. Try and keep your faith in that while your stuck in this rough patch. The best I can advise about your boyfriend is to just be honest with him. You are only human and asking for support when you need it is a good thing. Tell him how you feel and that his love and support would help you right now. If he loves you he will understand and probably be pleased you asked for help - even the kindest most sensitive of men can't understand what's going on in a girls head most of the time!
Just stay strong. I know it easy for mr to say and it's hard to follow. I can't stay strong myself to be honest! But you are not alone and the way you are reacting to the stresses and your boyfriend and everything is all totally normal and understandable. Just keep going and making the effort to look after yourself and things will get better.
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Re: I think I'm cracking up!

Postby highlandcow » Wed Oct 05, 2011 8:16 pm

Hi u_l_g

Thanks for your response. It's nice to know there is someone out there going through something similar.
Thanks for your kind words. :P
Go to Glasgow at least once in your life and have a roll and square sliced sausage and a cup of tea. When you feel the tea coursing over your spice-singed tongue, you'll know what I mean when I say:
'It's good to be alive!'"

- Billy Connolly
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highlandcow
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Posts: 1008
Joined: Fri Nov 14, 2008 9:22 pm
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Gender: Female


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