Don't think I can cope..

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Don't think I can cope..

Postby bethd_15 » Mon Oct 10, 2011 4:29 pm

My boyfriend of just over nine months split up with me last night. About three weeks ago, we'd split up for various reasons but got back together the next day and since then, everything had seemed really happy and fine. But he told me last night that he wasn't in love anymore and his feelings had gradually changed; he'd felt this way since just before the first time we broke up. He said he was only acting the same with me since the break-up to see if he could get his feelings back to normal because he felt so bad for not being in love anymore and I believe him but I can't help but feel embarrassed...all those times I thought we were happy, had laughs, even the thought of the fact that we slept together many times when he felt this way makes me feel so humiliated. I'm hoping he'll see sense because we were the type of couple that were more in love than anyone else. He'd tell me how much he loved me all the time and he meant it and I just don't understand why he can't feel that way again. Around two years ago, his dad, who he didn't know amazingly well, committed suicide (I didn't know him then) and this obviously caused a lot of issues for him and he said I helped him so much to get on with life and make him happier. Now he's started college and he hates the course, he doesn't get on with his mum and I've stuck by him through all this too but it obviously isn't good enough anymore. The amount of times he's said he doesn't even wanna be here anymore was difficult for me but I still stood by him and now we've split up, I really do think he might not be here a few months down the line. I can't imagine my life without him even though nine months might not sound a long time to people and we're only young...but I can't stop crying and I was depressed before I was with him, now I'm just going to be depressed again. I just have one of those personalities where I'm easily down and I can't get out of it. I'm at college but I know I won't succeed and I've just got a job but I can't focus on these things because I'm so torn up about him. I keep thinking is it better to just end it if he doesn't come to his senses? I'm one of the most insecure people you could meet; I never feel good enough and I'm always criticising myself. But this got better during my relationship with him; now I just feel worse than ever - the boy that was supposed to love me "forever" doesn't anymore so now I feel like I'm not even good enough for him? No one else has ever loved me and I don't think someone will ever love me like that again...I just want him! I've had to miss college today because I had no sleep and I can't stop crying and I just want him to see sense and miss me like I miss him...but I can't keep false hope. Just don't know what to do anymore!
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Re: Don't think I can cope..

Postby captainf » Mon Oct 10, 2011 4:47 pm

Aw my heart goes out to you. I am truely sorry that he did this to you and I can see how heartbroken you are.
Its sad that he says hes feelings faded when you was such support to him. I can't imagine why he would of ended it, but if he says his feelings faded and there doesnt seem to be any insincere meaning to this, maybe it is the truth and maybe his feelings just changed. As to why or how, I dont really know as it sounds like you two had a good thing. Maybe he will see sense in time, but it wouldnt be fair to you to keep waiting for months to see first.
It will hurt at first and its good that you are crying and getting it all out of your system. A good support network is paramount for you at the moment. You need to spend as much time with friends and people who make you happy.
Just talk it through with friends, family etc and vent as much emotion as you wish to you.
It will take abit of time to move on, but you can and will do it. :) :grouphug: :grouphug:
Remember how the runway lights looked one night long ago when you were lost and found your way, and how-you still dont know?
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Re: Don't think I can cope..

Postby Bel Bel » Thu Oct 13, 2011 1:02 pm

I think the best thing you can do is work on your own self esteem. Your b/f may or may not come back but it would be better for you wither way if you were feeling good about yourself and were strong and more able to cope to emotionally.
Could you look into cognitive therapy. If ynot go to your doctor and ask for some conselling.
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