New role

[ILoveChristmas]

Hi All,

I find myself looking for advice, or more likely a kick up the back side. I work for a small company with roughly 15 employees. As a result we're a close bunch and I'd count most of the folk here as friends as much as I would colleagues. My boss and I started the technical department in this company together 5 years ago, so I feel a closer connection with him than anyone else. I guess as a result of working in a small company there are limited opportunities for advancement and it was announced last week that my boss is leaving the company.

The news that my boss was leaving floored me on two counts; I'm losing a friend and 'go-to' guy and the company is losing a very experienced technical asset. The upshot of all this news is that I've been asked to fill the project management aspects of my boss's role, while another software developer has been asked to take on the technical lead role.

I know this is a good thing for me, I was ultimately in the same position he was in that if I ever started to want more from my job I would have had to leave, whereas now I get extra responsibility and a better salary whilst staying with the company and people I know and like, but I find myself quaking at the thought of it. I haven't been sleeping for a week and I find myself literally shaking when I talk about it.

I am an insecure person. I like to know exactly what I'm doing, how I'm doing it and when. If any of these things are thrown into disarray I have trouble with it. I also think constantly about all the things I would normally ask boss-man that I now can't. I go over all the aspects of project management, all of which I've been involved in before to some extent, that I've forgotten about.

My question, is this normal? If it's not, can people suggest how I might get a grip on myself?!

[Bel Bel]

This is totally normal. I took on the role as MD 2 years ago and felt exacly as you do.
You have to remember your capabilities, they wouldn't have asked if they didn't think you could do it.
I used some consultancies to help me with parts of the job I just knew were beyond me and that's worked well. If you can't or aren't allowed to do that are their forums that can help you with any information you feel you are short of.
Do you think you need any extra training that could help you do the job, if so ask for it?
You will soon learn to relax into your own style, I think it's important you do this and don't become a carbon copy of your old boss. Be confident with your decision when it's something you are sure about. When you aren't sure seek others opinions but be sure to make your own decision ultimately.
I think you are at the worst stage as you don't know what is to come but once you get your teeth into you will find yourself relaxing and with each hurdle you clear your confidence will increase.
There will always be problems and like you I don't like it when I feel out of my depth, this will pass or at least become easier.
Remember to break down any problem into smaller pieces exactly as you would manage a project. Breaking it down into smaller pieces always makes a problem easier to solve.
Good luck

[Jo]

Just want to say congratulations! And also that I completely agree with Bel Bel - it's normal to feel like you do but it will settle down as you ease into the role.

[ILoveChristmas]

Thank you guys,

It's comforting to know others feel the same way. I've found throughout my life that I don't like it when things change, preferring instead to stick with people, situations and roles that I know and am happy in and I tend to be unreasonably thrown when things upset that. I know everyone feels that way to an extent.

I've been sleeping a little better over the past few nights so I'm hopeful the improvement continues and I can learn to relax a little!

Thanks again