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Just a bit stressed vs bubbling pot of crazy

PostPosted: Sun Sep 08, 2013 11:09 pm
by Baffled
Im feeling rubbish at the moment and have been for some time. I have, in the past, been known to overreact however, so Im curious as to wether I am justifiably stressed out or in actual fact just being a giant crazy dramaqueenesque moper. I have noticed a change in myself for a while and consequently have made a little note for the last few weeks about how Ive felt daily and the majority seems to be not great-over half my days seem to be 'bad' days where I find myself very unhappy. Its not just me who has noticed-my mother has commented on how tired and run down I look and my partner has said Ive spent the last month or so sausage miserable.

The weird thing is that I dont really have much to complain about. I have recently returned from a bought of travel-a privilege by any standards-and while I am mourning a bit for my exciting living-out-of-a-suitcase times I am very grateful that Ive had the oppertunity. Im fairly healthy and while Im no film star people dont point at my face and wave hayforks and torches. Theres no immediate family or friends sick or injured and generally things are...alright. Except they sort of arent.

My work is probably a factor. I came back for my adventures for a job and despite having worked here before, its not what I expected. There are a lot of control freak personalities and the work team is small enought that if one member of staff comes in stressed, it spreads very quickly. I have been lucky enough to get the qualifications for my job at a youngish age but this too seems to be working against me as a member of the team in a much junior role is the same age. Said team member doesnt undertand some things and perhaps people have got into the habit of explaining how things work but as a professional, Im starting to really resent it when such things are overexplained to me (particularly given that I have worked with these people in the past and they KNOW Im good at my job, so much so that they invited me back when a vacancy became available after temping). I am not making things better for myself because Ive realised to avoid treading on toes that Ive adopted a cheerful easy-going work persona, which works great for destressing a bad atmosphere but is mentally exhausting and probably not doing my image as a professional capable individual many favours. I dont want to tread on toes but I dont like working this way either and its a bit sucky.

My work hours are sometimes unsociable which cuts into my hobby time. It means I often miss classes or personal time and feel rushed about, which leads me to feel bad about myself for not giving everything to interests that I love and ends up with me feeling subpar.

My housing situation isnt great. Ive had to move back temporarily with my mum, which past a certain age starts feeling a bit sad (and Im waaayyy beyond that age now). I feel guilty for being a burden on my parents in this way-am pretty sure they didnt think they would be stuck with me as an adult back when I was a baby. Theres also a certain amount of stress asociated with living with your parents when you have lived alone. I really appreciate my mum but I just want my own space. Trying to get on the property ladder as an independant individual not intending to live with a partner with a modest income seems next to impossible. Im realistic in what I want from a home but what I can afford is reminiscent of student housing-I dont want a mansion, I just would like a place where the windows arent warped and this currently seems a no go, which is a bit rubbish.

My support circle isnt great either. My best friends are scattered (ones abroad, ones across the sea and ones a 3-4 hour drive away) and I dont feel I can waste the time we get to hang out witching and whining. My other friends are lovely but I dont feel we are close enough for me to start pouring out my crazy. Cue my long suffering partner, who is getting a hell of a lot of the share of my grouchy sulky moodiness. Which I feel guilty about, particularly as I have a teensy tendancy to blame relationships and try to evacuate if the worlds not being overly kind.

These petty points aside, things are otherwise ok. Im not sure if Im overreacting...I just hate feeling pathetic and miserable for no proper reason. Am I a bit stressed out or just overly self-involved?

I feel a bit guilty posting this as some of you folks have problems that make mine look like a pimple on a rhinos bum in comparison but really need to vent. So sorry for the rambling-thankyou for taking the time to read this.

Re: Just a bit stressed vs bubbling pot of crazy

PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 11:04 pm
by retrochav
You have travelled and broadened your horizons, and come back to a world that you've sort of outgrown.

The petty work issues seem trivial, and keeping the peace is wearing you down. You have outgrown life living with your parents and feel very constrained.

Well, looking at the facts, its understandable you feel this way.

Living with parents is becoming more and more common with house prices and private rents the way they are. Use the time to save some cash, it won't always be this way. In the late 1980s, house prices rose by the week, private rents were de-regulated and rising by the day. It all crashed and prices came down. It will happen again, as a small rise in interest rates will cause chaos, hence rates being kept so low and 5% deposits being promoted. The longer it goes on the harder the crash will be. So be patient, and relieved that you won't be affected.

You have a job in your chosen field. You may find something else in time, or be promoted up. Keep smiling for now though, as you have a good career path ahead of you.

As for friends being far way, well use all communication methods to keep in touch. Invite them to stay if your family have room.

Make the best of the time with your boyfriend. You are clearly resourceful, so get a tent, caravan or whatever you can afford and have away breaks together. My guy and my cousins who I had care of many years ago would bunk the train to the coast, and cram in a cheap b&b every few weeks ( obviously you can do far better than that).

In short, it's human to feel flat, but its important to find solutions to move forward.

Re: Just a bit stressed vs bubbling pot of crazy

PostPosted: Mon Sep 16, 2013 8:09 pm
by Baffled
Thank for the reply Retrochav. Think you are fairly spot on in what you have said-things ARE a bit petty and constrained. Ive already taken your advice and met up with my buddies and have booked a trip away. I have suggested a performance review thingy at work so maybe can make it switch from poo sandwiches into nutella...similar but vastly preferable...

Thankyou again :) It was really helpful to have outside perspective. I was genuinely worried that I was just being ridiculous.