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I am shy and find it difficult to talk to people

PostPosted: Thu Jul 17, 2014 11:12 am
by smb
I am 37 years old and I have always been a shy person. I find it difficult to make conversations with certain people, mainly new people to be honest. But my partner I have the most difficulty with, I can not talk to him at all.

How can I over come this, its something that has driven me mad for a long time now. I just want to be left alone in my own thoughts, but then I don't really tell anybody whats going on in my head, because I think that its easier that way. But when I have started to talk in the past I have fond it very difficult and uncomfortable.

I really don't want to be like this any more. Its strange though, my job is a Customer Service Manager. I have done this type of job for over 20 years. I don't have a problem there at all, I can do my job really well. I see people and talk to them all the time. But I guess I am not talking about me. When I am asked about me, I am reluctant to give information. I think people will think I am boring and not worth talking to.

I think a lot of this may stem from when I lived with my ex husband who was an alcoholic. He always told me I was boring and didn't want to know about things I had to say. So I learnt to just keep things to myself.

Can anyone suggest any good books at all?

Someone has told me to go to my doctor and ask for a referral to a Psychiatrist. I mentioned it to my doctor once and he just discarded what I said :-(

Re: I am shy and find it difficult to talk to people

PostPosted: Thu Jul 17, 2014 11:46 am
by Bel Bel
You could try cognitive therapy may help as it helps us change our behaviours.
I agree your ex probably caused this. If you keep hearing your boring then that will start to impact your self esteem.

I don't know if this book is any good but for less than £2 it might be worth a try ... nce+issues