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Depression and false friends

PostPosted: Sun Jun 14, 2015 1:16 pm
by saramidnite
Hello. Recently I found out my friends at work are not my friends they have been talking to the bully about me who is my supervisor. I have been job hunting with our much success. I'm at my wits end as my depression is back. It's like my head is full of nothing. I'm not noticing any thing. Which gets me more in troble at work now. I'm waiting for my asperagers syndrome assessment but had to cancel the appointment due to work being short staff and limiting me to what days I can go to the hospital. I am also having panic attacks. Managers believe my supervisor. I would quit if I could but there not many jobs where we live in the countryside . I hope to learn to drive to broaden my chances. Fingers crossed. Now I know what mybfriwnds are like I feel l in shock. I don't understand why they would twist things. It really hurts and also explains why the bully starts on me for no reason. But worest bit is that means they want me to get in troble and fired. I can't understand why. I'm not sure if I can even go in tomorrow

Re: Depression and false friends

PostPosted: Mon Jun 15, 2015 10:26 am
by Bel Bel
You can't control other people and their thoughts only your own so make sure you try your best to ignore it.

Some people may only be agreeing with the supervisor because they are scared they will lose their jobs otherwise.

Have you been to the doctors, perhaps you need to be written off work for a week or so, give yourself time to get to your appointment and have a bit of rest from the situation?

Learning to drive will also give you a sense of freedom so i highly recommend it. If you have trouble learning new things go for an automatic car and test as this will be much easier.

Re: Depression and false friends

PostPosted: Tue Jun 23, 2015 7:28 am
by saramidnite
Thank you. I passed my driving test. I want to.believe they just agree with her but they been twisting things. They invited me out for dinner. I accepted but wish now I wasn't going. I tried politely declining. But they made me feel bad so I still going and my boyfriend fuming I am going

Re: Depression and false friends

PostPosted: Tue Jun 23, 2015 3:55 pm
by Bel Bel
Them inviting you out could be them trying to make things up after realising they are not being very nice.

Of course they could just be trying to show they are being nice and hoping you don't turn up.

Is the supervisor going?

Re: Depression and false friends

PostPosted: Wed Jun 24, 2015 6:55 am
by David020549
The problem is Aspergers which varies in degree affected, you sound quite mild, one of the characteristics is that interpersonal communication is poor. Typically one day everything is normal ,next day the sufferer will not acknowledge friends at all, cut them dead if you like, of course that really upsets others which would account for the false friends, they just do not understand.
I suggest explaining to your work colleagues and others what is happening either by talking to them or write it down on a card that you give to them, once they understand they will be much easier to work with.

Hope this helps

Re: Depression and false friends

PostPosted: Wed Jun 24, 2015 3:17 pm
by saramidnite
Thank you for the advice. I did tell the girls but it made no difference. I heard them talking to the supervisor about me. One even said you bring the drama on yourself. You use to cope it strange how only now the docs think you have asperagers. My supervisor I heard telling ppl I'm fake. I'm trying to get a new job. It was ok when the supervisor was just picking on me. Now my colleagues join in. Because I wasn't smiling she Shouted in the restrant look at the face on that. They then all looked at me. Yesterday I had to fill in a sick return to work yesterday. My name was printed at the top. At the bottom it requested my signature. So I signed it. But she Shouted at me in front of all the restrant want kind of signature is that u can't read it. I offered to print my name. She said no. She wants my signature. But it not read able. She wanted my name written for my signature instead of my actual signature. I embraced as all the staff and customers could hear her complaining. Then she went over to other staff and showed them and they laughed. A signature is different to printing your name. My signature is good enough for my passport and driving licence. She was just looking to have a go at me.

Re: Depression and false friends

PostPosted: Mon Jun 29, 2015 3:13 pm
by Bel Bel
yes it certainly sounds like she is bullying you especially as she does it in front of others and to do it in front of customers is appauling
Have you been diarising all these events?
If not start now.
If you already have find out who the person responsible for HR is and send an official complaint about how you are being treated. Put examples from your diary with dates and who was a witness to the event
Do not worry about getting anyone in trouble, this has gone beyond reasonable and the supervisor is actively encouraging bullying.
Next time she does it i would loudly say "you seem to enjoy bullying me" and then ignore her.
Bullying in the workplace is taken very seriously now and if they fail to act after two complaints you can take them to a tribunal, this is no way to live
I do not approve of people who sue willy-nilly but this has been over a long period and is affecting your mental health, you are exactly the type of person the system is their to protect
I know this is not an option you probably want to persue but it may not even come to that if you stand up and make a fuss now.
You could also voice record an incident on your phone (or maybe even more than one) so you have proof to give to the HR person.