Depression: The 10 golden rules for yourself

For problems with mental or emotional well being.
Forum rules
User avatar
Long Term Lodger
Long Term Lodger
Posts: 3928
Joined: Fri Feb 08, 2008 3:24 pm
Gender: Female
Location: England

Post by dipsydoodlenoodle » Tue Oct 21, 2008 8:48 am

I found this article on MSN and thought it may be useful to this post :-)
Hope it helps

Recognise your negative thinking patterns

Do you automatically think "I'm useless” if you do something wrong, or assume that if your neighbour ignores you, she must hate you?

These distorted thoughts can really take their toll on your self-esteem. Below is a list of 10 negative ways of thinking, if you can recognise yourself having these thoughts then you can begin the process of rationalising them.

1. Personalisation

Even though it’s largely out of your control you blame yourself for a negative event that occurred 'If I had taken more care, I never would have lost my mobile phone.'

2. Filtering

One negative happening, such as a rude comment made to you during an otherwise enjoyable evening changes your whole perspective on the evening and puts you on a downer

3. Rejecting praise

Closing off the positive such as a compliment, affectionate gesture or praise goes unnoticed, ignored or deflected; you might reply with, 'It’s no big deal.'

4. Drawing false conclusions

You draw negative conclusions without getting your facts straight. You try and predict the future or guess what someone else is feeling 'My sister is upset, she must be angry with me.'

5. Negative reasoning

You are sure that your negative opinion of a situation reflects reality. Such as: 'My husband drops his socks on the floor just to aggravate me.'

6. Using the word 'should' in your vocabulary

You adhere to being a perfectionist and following certain rules about whet you 'should' be doing. You feel useless and guilty when you can’t stick to your rules.
7. Overgeneralisation

One negative event, such as an insult from your partner or an argument with someone causes you to exaggerate the situation. For example, you might think, 'She’s always cold' or 'You can’t trust anyone.'

8. Labelling

Rather than learning from a mistake and using it as an experience that has helped you grow as a person, you label yourself negatively: 'I’m a failure.' You do the same to other people too: 'She’s so controlling.'

9. Magnification or minimisation

You wind yourself up so that molehill problems become mountains 'I know I won’t be any good at it.' Or you minimize anything that might make you feel good, such as appreciation for a kind act you did or the recognition that other people have flaws, too.

10. All or nothing

If you don’t perform with perfection, then you consider yourself a complete failure.

Negative thoughts don’t have to be a way of life, you can 'unlearn' self-defeating ways of thinking that pave the way toward mood disorders.

Writing things down on paper really helps. Take some time out of your day to write down a negative event, notice your thought pattern from the list above and look at then write down a different perspective with a more rational and optimistic response.

Just the act of writing gives you back some power and control over the situation and once you have recognised your negative thought pattern you are on the way to teaching yourself new patterns, positive ones!

One of the Crowd
One of the Crowd
Posts: 72
Joined: Wed Jan 16, 2008 10:46 pm

Re: Depression: The 10 golden rules for yourself

Post by alphamach » Thu Nov 13, 2008 4:07 pm

cool - thanks

Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
Posts: 13
Joined: Mon Apr 06, 2009 10:05 pm
Gender: Female

Re: Depression: The 10 golden rules for yourself

Post by DeadAlready » Mon Apr 13, 2009 10:20 pm

Awh I love this! They all ring true.

:) I'd add and eleven.

Surround yourself with the people you love and bring you happiness!


Re: Depression: The 10 golden rules for yourself

Post by xyxablink » Mon Nov 09, 2009 6:13 am

Liquidius wrote:1. You should give yourself the same care and attention you give others.

2. You are not an "endless resource" for others. You must stock up on reserves and not get too drained.

3. You have needs too, which may be different from your family, friends and colleagues.

4. You dont have to say "yes" to all requests or feel guilty when saying no.

5. The perfect person doesn't exist. The good-enough one does.

6. You have the right to be treated with respect as a worthwile, intelligent and competent person.

7. You dont have to have everyone's approval all the time to know you are trying your hardest.

8. Time for unwinding is time very well spent.

9. Making mistakes is not a disaster. You can learn from these and it allows others to as well.

10. You must be fair to yourself and remember at all time, especially in the face of criticism, anxiety and difficulties. YOU ARE DOING THE BEST THAT YOU CAN.

think I'll stick that in mind always.>! Living in a world where we should be sharing but not to the extent that you get
nothing for yourself... Better preserve yourself as well.. and be treated fairly as if you were truly a human being loved
by someone whom you love so much...There are more important things to worry aside from the people around you..!

Just Landed
Just Landed
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2012 3:31 pm
Gender: Female

Re: Depression: The 10 golden rules for yourself

Post by beautydylan » Sun Apr 08, 2012 5:32 pm

Thanks for this thread, I'm currently going through depression so this thread helps me a lot :D

Post Reply