Fear...

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sparkly_star
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Fear...

Post by sparkly_star » Tue Jan 31, 2006 6:13 pm

I've developed a fear of leaving my house... I've been to the doctor and she gave me pills which I do not want to take, as my physical symptoms aren't that bad, it's just the anticipation that is causing me the problem. It can take hours to psych myself up to just leave the house by myself... and then if i have to wait too long, or get upset for some other reason, I can't do it... I get wound up and freaked out and lose my bottle, so to speak. And its getting stupid... embarrassingly I've developed a slight fear of the shower :oops: ... I don't like being shut in it, I worry that something bad might happen and I'll be trapped. I just constantly feel something bad is going to happen to me all the time. And I know I am being stupid...but I just can't seem to go outside.. nor get these idiotic thoughts out of my head.

I have made small amounts of progress... like going outside into the front garden.. or going to the shop. But everytime I come to do the same thing again, the fear re-appears, although it lessens a little. I just feel abit stuck right now and I'm not really sure what to do. If anyone here has had any fear type problems I'd like to know what you did to overcome them, because I do not want to be this way forever.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

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Post by Rock_Queen » Tue Jan 31, 2006 7:09 pm

There's probably loads of advice on the internet, but you have to nip this in the bud, or it could develop into a phobia. Being scared/worried in the shower isn't that bad, it's very understandable! You're in a confined space, you're vunerable (naked) and the floor of it can be really slippery, i can't turn around in my shower, i just can't, i never have. Other things include going up the stairs on my own, i get worried then either bolt it up there or walk sideways :oops: I have quite a fear (not going to talk about it because it's your thread :) ) that probably one person in the world knows about, bar me mum, so i do know what it's like to have a really silly fear, just take baby steps, seek help, and take those pills! even if it makes you feel slightly more secure it'll help you on your way.

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Post by nothings_shocking » Tue Jan 31, 2006 7:12 pm

Aww hun just think of the good things you have to look forward to!!
That is your goal and I know you can do it. I have faith in you!!
You are already improving sooo much it's great. Just keep it up take your pills and remember what you get at the end! ;)
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Post by Catherine » Tue Jan 31, 2006 10:07 pm

all the above advice is really good but if this continues to get worse you should maybe see somebody prfessional. someone who you can talk to, these things cost money but this is your life so whats more important.

I hope everything works out for you x x x
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Post by V23 » Wed Feb 01, 2006 12:42 am

I had a very similar problem (I developed agoraphobia) and I totally understand. Which tablets did your doctor give you? I've tried three types and I had very similar worries because it wasn't a physical thing I was coping with. Howver, I've been on my meds now for about 5months and they do make a difference, I can go out and (while I hate the fact I have to take meds) I don't think i'd have been able to move forward without them.
One type of med I was on (propranolol) dealt with the physical aspects as opposed to the 'mental' issues with it and I really found them to be more distressing than helpful but not all are like that.
I also think that speaking to someone (professional) is a good idea because it helps you to deal with the root of the problem

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Post by sparkly_star » Wed Feb 01, 2006 1:34 am

The doctor gave me paroxetine? I daren't take them, the side effects and withdrawal scare me more than going outside.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

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Post by Catherine » Wed Feb 01, 2006 9:33 am

God I never take medication. Thiings like these can really mess you up, I definatley dont wanna scare you but, I wouldnt take things like that. Doctors maybe arnt the best people to see with problems like yours, I really suggest talking to a councellor or somebody like that who is more interested in your wellbeing. Doctors think that if they shove a load of pills down your throut you'll be happy and wont come back....

PLEASE. See somebody who you can talk to, a professional that deals with people of your circumstanses.

I really hope you get better. x x x Catherine x
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Post by smile » Wed Feb 01, 2006 10:56 am

Hey sparkly,

A couple of years ago I had exactly the same problem. I'd been off school for about nine months and hadn't been going out while I was off so everytime I came to go to school I couldn't because not only was I scared of going to school but I was also scared of stepping outside my front door. I hadn't actually been out on my own for atleast two months. I went and saw a psychologist with my parents and she advised that I take it slowly. I think you should get an old notebook and have a page for every day for the next month. Each day start off with a really small thing (it might be huge thing to you at the moment). If you plan it in advance then you can gear yourself up to acheiving your goals.

For instance, today maybe just walk to your garden gate or if that feels too much then take two steps outside your front door. Once you have done it make sure you write it down in your notebook so you can look back and see how far you have come! Then say tomorrow you could walk 6 steps out of your house. The next day, get to the end of your garden, the day after that go to your neighbours car etc. Just take it one step at the time and it will work!

Let us know how you get on.

Take care.
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Just remember to keep smiling!

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Post by V23 » Thu Feb 02, 2006 1:14 am

God I never take medication. Thiings like these can really mess you up, I definatley dont wanna scare you but, I wouldnt take things like that. Doctors maybe arnt the best people to see with problems like yours, I really suggest talking to a councellor or somebody like that who is more interested in your wellbeing.

While I agree that seeing a counsellor is a good option I know that I wouldn't have been able to start getting over my agoraphobia without the help of medication. I tried therapy to no avail and medication is what has helpe me
I have taken diazepam (valium which is good except it should be used as a last resort as it is highly addictive), propranolol and now I'm on citalopram.
The side effects freaked me out too but when I started them I had very few. What type of med is paroxetine? I only ask because different types of meds deal with different sources of the problem. The one I'm on is an SSRI which is an anti-depressant as well as an anxiety/agoraphobia drug whereas the propranolol was a beta bloker so only dealt with the physical effects of the anxiety/agoraphobia

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Post by sparkly_star » Thu Feb 09, 2006 6:50 pm

Well I still haven't taken the pills and I've been going outside and abit further each time. I'm just trying to think positively about it all now, and believe that I will get over it and so far it seems to be helping.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

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Post by captainf » Thu Feb 09, 2006 7:14 pm

Glad to hear that you're thinking positively and that its working for you, sparkly_star Keep at it.
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Post by smile » Thu Feb 09, 2006 11:41 pm

That's great news! I think you're definitely taking the right steps! Well done though. :) Keep us updated, I'd love to know how you're getting on with it.
When you reach for the stars, you may not quite get them, but you won't come up with a handful of mud either.

Just remember to keep smiling!

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