I feel fat and unattractive!

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I feel fat and unattractive!

Postby danni » Mon Feb 17, 2003 8:34 pm

I am a 17yr old girl and my friends say i have a problem (i don't believe i do), i feel very fat and unattracttive.
for about 1/2 a yr i have not been eating properly, i either eat a full meal and then make myself sick after or a don't eat at all. The main thing that i do this is because i want a boyfriend or girlfriend and i can't get one, i feel really lonley. My best friend is a great help but i don't want my problems on her i need advice off someone who doesn't know me.
The main thing that started it off is a lass in college who i will say is a fairly big girl, told me she was a 36inch waste but i am a 35inch waste. All my friends say shes alot bigger but i still feel that i might be just as big.
Because i can't get these things of my mind i can't concentrate on my work i have 6 outstanding assighnments and i just can't do them.

Another thing is my 13yr old cusian keeps going missing and the family blame her for my aunty and uncle splitting up. The reason i am involved in this is because she might be comming to live with us to get her away from her siblings. I live in at college all week and only go home at weekends so its not much of a problem for me but i believe it will put strain on my parents relationship and they may take it out on me when i come home.

I have alot more going on inmy life that if i said them all it would take a yr to read them, but the main one is i don't know what to do! :-?
please help me. :cry:
:( Danni :)
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Postby chris_rovers » Mon Feb 17, 2003 8:37 pm

dont worry ur not fat ur perfect just the way u r!!! and i should no cos i know u!!!
Last edited by chris_rovers on Thu Feb 20, 2003 4:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Enigma » Mon Feb 17, 2003 9:46 pm

Hello danni and welcome to the forums.

Do you have questions about specific areas of your situation, or are you after general opinions on it?

Don't feel unattractive on here, your physical appearance is not important to us.

So, you don't think you have a problem with your weight, but you acknowledge there is an issue with your eating - right?

Try not to focus your attention on getting into a relationship, you'll find that this is only gets you down. Put your energy into enjoying life with people, join in the discussions with members on here and chat with your friends.

In time meaningful relationships will arise without any intervention or intention.

We won't mind you sharing further details about your sitatuation with us.
We are here to listen.
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Postby Gem » Wed Feb 19, 2003 11:27 am

Hi danni,
I know this is going to sound awfull but, firstly, your parents problems are your parents problems. If they start to take them out on you, don't listen, there is nothing you can do to help. I think everyone has a stage in their life where they have some kind of problem with food, you just don't let it rule your life.

This is a really hard problem to answer......I know what I'm trying to say but, can't get it out in the way I want it to come across. Although we're not professionals it's still a little easier if you tell us how you are feeling, unfortunatly, you have to work from the inside to the outside and we can help you see that you're not alone in the slightest and hopefully, give you some solutions!
Who decided what order to put the alphabet in?
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Thankyou.

Postby danni » Wed Feb 19, 2003 6:56 pm

Hey guys thankyou for the advice but it has got worse in the weight depart ment i went to a fancy dress party were everyone had to go in schoool uniform.
I was having a great time untill half way through i found out off my college room mate that some lads on her course only know me as the BIG FAT CRANE. I am 11 & 1/2 stone, i g to the gym every week once or twice, i go to karate every tuesday and i eat salads and healthy food but im still fat and don't understand why. :cry:
My friends all talk to me and i love them all but when they say i have to stop what im doin i don't think it hurts them when i don't but im slowly realising that it does, but i still can't stop. All the other problems seem to go away when im with my friends but this one never does, I want to help other people on the site but if they read this then they won't listen coz all im doin is contradicting what i say when i do this. But i do mean it and i wish i could listen to my self. :cry:
Any way thankyou again and im sorry for babaling on and telling you all this but i need to get it off my hest. thankyou for listening. bye.
[/img]
:( Danni :)
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Danni, Love

Postby Amanda » Thu Feb 20, 2003 11:10 am

chris is right, people love you for you. we don't care how much you weigh, because believe me, you are a bonny girl, and you don't have to go changing for anyone. you just have to realise that for yourself.

just know that we are here for you

:wink:
"All that is gold does not glitter..."
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Postby Andy » Sat Feb 22, 2003 11:22 pm

hey sorry just to go back a bit danni if you want help on diets give us a shout i kinda study it, might be able to help
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Postby danni » Mon Feb 24, 2003 5:48 pm

Andy wrote:hey sorry just to go back a bit danni if you want help on diets give us a shout i kinda study it, might be able to help


hey.
whats the best diets to help you lose tunns of weight.
I am 11 1/2 stone and i am 5ft tall i want to go down to about 8st my recomended weight for my height. :-?
:( Danni :)
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Postby tammybligh » Tue Feb 25, 2003 4:24 pm

I'd just like to say that it sounds to me like you have really great friends... and thats all that matters. They seem to really care about you.
I'd just like to say that people come in all shapes and sizes, if everyone was a perfect 10 the world would be a pretty boring place. I'm 5'6" and weight just under 15 stone, so I can sort of relate to what you're saying. I was never very popular at school or college, and always felt that people didn't want to know me because of the way I looked - I blamed everything on my size. It wasn't until I realised that if these people didn't want to know me because I wasn't "perfect", then they really weren't worth knowing. Come to terms with who you are before you try to change what you are.

Don't go changing for anyone. Only diet if you really feel deep down that you have to. In my experience, dieting will only bring you down. People who are overweight are that way because they like their food, it's not a crime and there are far worse things you could be. I know that I'd rather be ugly and overweight than be racist, homophobic, or abusive to people who aren't as strong as me.

Just remember that everyone has vices, some drink, some smoke, some take drugs - others over eat.

Sorry for waffling on about that, I hope it didn't sound like complete rubbish, I've never been good with words. From what I've read on this site already, you're in very capable hands...
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Postby danni » Thu Feb 27, 2003 2:22 pm

Hello Tammy.
I just want to thankyou, for that e-mail and it has made me think a little and i am getting through it with help of friends. :)
:( Danni :)
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Re: Thankyou.

Postby KoRn_Freak » Fri Mar 07, 2003 10:38 pm

danni wrote:I was having a great time untill half way through i found out off my college room mate that some lads on her course only know me as the BIG FAT CRANE. I am 11 & 1/2 stone, i g to the gym every week once or twice, i go to karate every tuesday and i eat salads and healthy food but im still fat and don't understand why. :cry:


In order to burn some serious fat, you need to build your metabolism as much as possible. In order to do this, you need to build some muscle (not with the intention to look like Hulk Hogan) as the right kind of weight lifting will make you lean. Building muscle stimulates your metabolism resulting in you burning up fat even when you sleep!! If you want professional advice, I strongly suggest you check out www.ivillage.com and look through the Health section about weight. It has some wonderful tips about eating and working out.
Oh and another thing: if you need an energy boost without the calory concern, eat Jelly Beans. They only have 2 calories each and they give you a good burst of energy fast!

KoRn_Freak
x

PS: Having a high carbohydrate, high fibre, low protein and low fat diet is great for losing weight as long as you do the exercise to burn the energy off, but the results are meant to be excellent.
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Postby Sheffieldtyke » Tue Apr 01, 2003 5:24 pm

Don feel so bad , its only shallow people who wont like you for how you look on the outside , . The most kind , cringand friendlypeole will always lik smeon fo their personality. ( and thats the truth) :wink:
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Postby Sheffieldtyke » Tue Apr 01, 2003 5:26 pm

I am very sorry about the terrible spelling Above ^
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Postby Enigma » Tue Apr 01, 2003 6:51 pm

Sheffieldtyke you can edit your posts y'know.

At the top right of a post you've made there will be a button that says "edit", with an image of paper being cut by scissors.
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Thankyou!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Postby danni » Wed Apr 02, 2003 5:01 pm

I would like to thank everyone for their support and i feel a lot better in myself and i have a gimmick "I DO NOT CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK ABOUT ME ONLY TRUE FRIENDS DON'T CARE WHATS ON THE OUTSIDE AND I HAVE MY FRIENDS" :wink:
I have lost some weight and i feel great :D but i have done it the correct way, i eat healthier and i go to the gym and i do karate.
My friends have been great they have helped me through it all and to prove i don't care what people think about me. Me and a mate have been dressing up and going round college and going to the pub too. 8)
I am even wanting to come back to college next year and do a course on engineering and Motorsports and most probs will be the only lass on the course. :wink:
She says curling her hair and :roll:
Any way i can't thank you enough for your advice.
Bye for now and ill keep poping in to help others.
Last edited by danni on Thu Apr 03, 2003 7:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.
:( Danni :)
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