Why won't my depression go away?

For problems with mental or emotional well being.
Forum rules
NEW USERS HAVE TO WAIT FOR THEIR FIRST POSTS TO BE APPROVED BY AN ADMINISTRATOR. Rules | Essential Information | FAQ | Support | Twitter

Why won't my depression go away?

Postby KoRn_Freak » Fri Mar 07, 2003 10:55 pm

I don't know if I'm just going through a phase or if I have a serious problem, but whatever I have, I need some help.

From day to day, I get depressed over nothing, and my confidence is always low because of my upset. I don't think of myself as a worthy individual, and it was worse 6 months ago before I had a loving, caring boyfriend. Before I got together with my boyfriend, I was trying to OD on paracetamol, cut my wrists, drown myself and do solvents. I even contemplated hanging myself in the atic because of how awful I felt. Nearly every day I was crying over something, but even now every 2 or 3 days I cry about something or nothing. I don't know if there's actually a name for being constantly depressed for no reason; something like manic depression or chronic depression? It affects the way I sleep, my performance in school, my attitudes towards other people, my self confidence and my well being. There's always some time in a week where I wish I was dead or never born.
I'm also extremely paranoid, sometimes thinking things and seeing things that aren't even there: scaring myself to the extents where I hide under my covers thinking there's something in my room ready to murder me. Is that an over-active imagination or am I schizophrenic? My paranoia also entwines with anxiety: I'm a very nervous person, and I'm quite antisocial. I feel very frightened around lots of people, and I don't often go out. I never go out during the week, only on weekends. I'm a very pessimistic person, and a very angry one as well. My temper is easily provoked and I have no patience. This normally makes me lash out at my friends for no reason, and I feel like the worst person in the world.
Is there ANY way for me to find some happiness?
KoRn_Freak
Part of the Furniture
Part of the Furniture
 
Posts: 556
Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2003 9:43 pm
Location: Heywood, Lancashire, UK

Postby Jo » Sat Mar 08, 2003 3:31 am

Hi KoRn_Freak

First of all you need to work out how much this is affecting your everyday life. Are these fellings stopping you from coping with day to day tasks? Do you feel as though you are losing control? Have you stopped enjoying the things that you used to enjoy? Are you losing interest in things you used to be interested in? From what you say it sounds as though you have already decided that this is becoming the case.

There are a couple of key things you can do to start dealing with this. The first is to read up on what these fellings might mean. Arm yourself with as much knowledge as you can handle. Sometimes reading about a problem can help a lot, partly because it shows you that you are not alone.

Another advantage of finding the information is that while you are reading you are also learning about the help that is available, because information about different conditions is almost always provided by the organisations that offer the help.

Try to be open minded when reading the information though - don't fall in to the trap of thinking that you have every illness going just because some of the symptoms match with yours!

The second step is to decide where you are going to go for help (if you need it). Do you just need someone to talk to? Or do you need some ongoing support? Is there anyone you can trust enough to talk to about this? Or would you feel better contacting one of the organisations listed below anonymously?

Find out about places you can go for help in your area. There will be voluntary organisations as well as mainstream statutory organisations. You will find their numbers in the phone book, yellow pages, local paper or the library.

If you feel able to talk to a teacher about your feelings, ask them to find out about your local Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services, they usually work closely with schools.

See below for a list of web sites where you can get information and support...

For depression, visit the web site of Depression Alliance here;
http://www.depressionalliance.org/

For Schizophrenia;
http://www.emental-health.com/schiz_whatis.htm

For info about a range of mental health problems;
http://www.rethink.org/information/med/index.html
http://www.mind.org.uk/
http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/
http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk

For info and support specifically aimed at young people's mental health;
http://www.youngminds.org.uk/
http://www.rethink.org/at-ease/
http://www.cwgsy.net/community/mindinfo/young.htm

Most of all remember that you are not alone. If these feelings do turn out to be something more serious than a passing phase, it can be dealt with and you WILL come out the other side.

Jo
User avatar
Jo
Site Owner
Site Owner
 
Posts: 1994
Joined: Tue Oct 16, 2001 1:00 am
Location: East Lancashire, UK
Gender: Female

Postby KoRn_Freak » Sat Mar 08, 2003 10:32 am

Thanks for the advice and the links. I'll check them out straight away.

You've been a big help
:)
KoRn_Freak
Part of the Furniture
Part of the Furniture
 
Posts: 556
Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2003 9:43 pm
Location: Heywood, Lancashire, UK

Postby smile » Tue Mar 11, 2003 10:48 am

Hi Korn Freak,

I'm glad to hear that your not suicidal anymore. You have jumped over one hurdle and thats one step nearer to the end of the race. I was reading your post and you said:
I don't often go out. I never go out during the week, only on weekends.
Maybe you should ask yourself what is so different about the weekends to the weekdays. I went through a 'phase' of not goibng out and staying by myself all day and then I realised that I'm not going to get anywhere in life if I sit around all day moping. So I got up and went out, during a week day. I used to be exactly the same. I only used to go out at weekends as well. I never quite knew why though. I found out the reason, I'm not in school at the moment, my reason and everything is in 'Life's not going anywhere' board in 'Mental Wellbeing'. Anyway I found out that I wasn't going out because I was worried I would run into one of my friends along the way. I still don't understand why I was worried but once I knew what was stopping me I tackled the problem head on. I started going out each day, going further and further each time and it makes you feel so much better. I think that half the reason you are not going out is because you feel so low, but then again you could be feeling low because your at home all the time and not going anywhere. It's a catch 22 situation. I really recommend just going out, once each day. Doesn't have to be long at first but as long as you're out. Then gradually build it up.

I hope I've helped and if you ever need to talk then I'd be happy to help as I've been through some things that are similar to your problems. Keep going at it and good luck!

Luv
Smile
x x x x
When you reach for the stars, you may not quite get them, but you won't come up with a handful of mud either.

Just remember to keep smiling!
smile
Taken Root
Taken Root
 
Posts: 2491
Joined: Wed Dec 18, 2002 6:01 pm
Location: Do you really really really want to know?

Can't go out

Postby KoRn_Freak » Tue Mar 18, 2003 7:05 pm

My mum doesn't like me going out during the week. She's afraid of my safety although I'm 14 and I'm pretty streetwise; knowing where to go and where not to go etc. Now because of an outburst between a fairly old problem in school, she's restricted my boyfriend from seeing me through the week, only on weekends, and made it clear that I need my own space to do homework, recollect my thoughts and get through the mess I'm in, and to chill out. I hate being on my own, alone in the house with only parents as company. I don't like the town I live in because there are so many gangs of people determined to cause trouble, and plus it's a suburban town with very little peace and quiet, and plus I'd have no one to go out with, or no one to go and see. Rarely she lets me go out, plus there's simply nowhere to go.
KoRn_Freak
Part of the Furniture
Part of the Furniture
 
Posts: 556
Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2003 9:43 pm
Location: Heywood, Lancashire, UK

Postby smile » Wed Mar 19, 2003 10:07 am

I'm in London myself so I know how you mean about knowing where to go and where not to go. I'm only 15 so I suppose we are in roughly the same boat. I usually go on the bus to get something in a town, or even just the shop over the road and then come back. It doesn't matter where you go or how long you go out for as long as you can get out for a bit, I promise you, you will feel so much better. At first my parents weren't too happy for me to go out on my own during the day but when they realised how unhappy and lonely I was at home on my own all day they soon let me go out more.
I'd have no one to go out with, or no one to go and see.


I don't usually have anyone to go out with during the day because my friends are in school. I meet my friends at weekends but during the day I seem to go out on my own. It's not so bad once your out of the house! :) Maybe just go to the local shop to get a pint of milk etc. But, I really do promise you, once you're out and about you will feel much better and I bet you that you feel that you can start tackling your problems. Trust me, I know how you feel. I've been through near enough exactly the same thing, except I didn't OD. I'm now on the road to success (however cheesy it may sound! :D ) and I'm sure with a bit of effort you will be too.

I really hope things work out for you and if you ever want to talk or feel you've gotten yourself 'stuck' I'd be happy to help. Take care and all the best,

Luv
Smile
x x x
When you reach for the stars, you may not quite get them, but you won't come up with a handful of mud either.

Just remember to keep smiling!
smile
Taken Root
Taken Root
 
Posts: 2491
Joined: Wed Dec 18, 2002 6:01 pm
Location: Do you really really really want to know?

Postby KoRn_Freak » Thu Mar 20, 2003 8:14 pm

Walking to the shop feels like a journey and a half, even a two minute walk to the corner's daunting. I feel like at any moment some idiot will want to try and cause trouble just because I like rock music. Society's sunk to levels of intimidation where I hate going anywhere.
KoRn_Freak
Part of the Furniture
Part of the Furniture
 
Posts: 556
Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2003 9:43 pm
Location: Heywood, Lancashire, UK

Postby Aldo » Thu Mar 20, 2003 11:49 pm

forget about them. I know what you mean, when im out to gigs and have an anthrax top on or something I feel a million eyes on me...but i just ignore them because i know....WE are listening to REAL music! so forget them.
If you dont ask you will never know
User avatar
Aldo
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
 
Posts: 124
Joined: Sat Jul 27, 2002 3:13 pm
Location: male, 23, Scotland, Glasgow

Postby smile » Fri Mar 21, 2003 11:45 am

I know what you mean, I always used to worry about people wondering why I'm not in school or asking me questions. I even did get a few nosy people asking why I wasn't in school but I just told them politely that it wasn't any of their business. If you don't feel able to go to the shops and back then go to the end of the road. Anywhere, it doesn't matter as long as you are out. It could be a 1 minute walk or even 30 secs. As long as the next day you get that little bit further. Just trust me, I know exactly how you feel and things will get better. I spent nine months moping around the house feeling sorry for myself and then I've pulled myself together recently. It does work, as long as you do something each day.
When you reach for the stars, you may not quite get them, but you won't come up with a handful of mud either.

Just remember to keep smiling!
smile
Taken Root
Taken Root
 
Posts: 2491
Joined: Wed Dec 18, 2002 6:01 pm
Location: Do you really really really want to know?

Postby KoRn_Freak » Mon Apr 07, 2003 10:58 pm

Things are getting a lot better thanks to your advice. I decided to go to Manchester with my boyfriend to meet my best friends new posse of mates, and I had the best time of my life! I had so much fun that day that my worries and problems drifted off up into the sky. I don't feel like I have any problems with my self esteem now, and I'm feeling a hell of a lot better with myself on the whole!
KoRn_Freak
Part of the Furniture
Part of the Furniture
 
Posts: 556
Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2003 9:43 pm
Location: Heywood, Lancashire, UK

Postby Enigma » Tue Apr 08, 2003 3:30 am

And exactly one month since you started this topic!
:D
Enigma
Taken Root
Taken Root
 
Posts: 2084
Joined: Mon Sep 02, 2002 12:36 am
Location: Greater Manchester, UK
Gender: Male

Postby smile » Wed Apr 09, 2003 9:20 am

Thats great news, I'm really glad you have got your problem sorted. Take care,

Smile
x x x
When you reach for the stars, you may not quite get them, but you won't come up with a handful of mud either.

Just remember to keep smiling!
smile
Taken Root
Taken Root
 
Posts: 2491
Joined: Wed Dec 18, 2002 6:01 pm
Location: Do you really really really want to know?


Return to Mental wellbeing

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests

cron