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Want to leave

Postby mickslogun » Tue May 24, 2005 7:05 pm

I'm in my second year of sixth form, but redoing the first year, so instead of leaving this year i have still another year to go. Last year i wanted to leave, and when i spoke to my parents about it they said i was stupid and didn't want to talk about such a ridiculous idea, and that i'd ruin my life if i did. So i decided to stick it out, and then a few months later i decided i just can't do it, and i went to them again and got the same reaction, so again decided to stick it out. But now. i'm feeling it again, and i don't want to stick it out anymore. i have no desire to be there, it's just making me depressed still being there,same thing every day.
Does anyone have any ideas of how to deal with parents in this situation?
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Postby Moose » Tue May 24, 2005 7:15 pm

If you have 100% made up your mind, and you're sure you can't stick it out, then you need to have a back-up plan with which to go to your parents. There's no point in going saying "I want to leave" and when they say "What are you going to do then?" you saying "Dunno".

Have you got any ideas about what you might do? There are modern apprenticeship schemes that you might get more out of. Maybe you could look into that sort of thing.

But I would strongly recommend having something to go to them with, so you look like you have done your homework, so to speak, and so you don't look like you're just quitting with nothing to go to.
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Postby mickslogun » Tue May 24, 2005 7:44 pm

Moose wrote:If you have 100% made up your mind, and you're sure you can't stick it out, then you need to have a back-up plan with which to go to your parents. There's no point in going saying "I want to leave" and when they say "What are you going to do then?" you saying "Dunno".

Have you got any ideas about what you might do? There are modern apprenticeship schemes that you might get more out of. Maybe you could look into that sort of thing.

But I would strongly recommend having something to go to them with, so you look like you have done your homework, so to speak, and so you don't look like you're just quitting with nothing to go to.


Yeah, i know that. I've always known that i want to follow something musical, and the last two times i tried i was feeling way too depressed to want to open up about it all. But yeah, i want to enroll in a guitar course, part of the drumtech college in London, which has a lot of potential in it. I have no intention of dropping out and just being a barman instead
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Postby X_Smiler_X » Tue May 24, 2005 7:49 pm

I'm guessing your around 18? If so, its your choice what you do with your life. I know it doesn't sound very respectable towards your parents, but you have got to do what you feel is best for you.
If you go through life trying to please other people and not yourself, you will find (as you already have) you will be very unhappy.

Tell your parents this decision you want to make is not going to backfire, and that you know it will do you the world of good.

Be happy!
Smile at life, and life will smile back at you.
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Postby mickslogun » Tue May 24, 2005 8:06 pm

X_Smiler_X wrote:I'm guessing your around 18? If so, its your choice what you do with your life. I know it doesn't sound very respectable towards your parents, but you have got to do what you feel is best for you.
If you go through life trying to please other people and not yourself, you will find (as you already have) you will be very unhappy.

Tell your parents this decision you want to make is not going to backfire, and that you know it will do you the world of good.

Be happy!


Yep i'm 18, been feeling like this since i was 15, although i couldn't leave then.
That's the way i feel about it too, you have to live for yourself instead of other people and their view of normality. It's just finding out how to actually convince them the same thing
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Postby X_Smiler_X » Tue May 24, 2005 8:13 pm

I know darling, Parents only want the best for their kids, and that is all they are wishing on you. But they have to let go, let their son grow up and make decisions for himself.

Sit them down, talk to them, prove to them you know what you are doing. They will come round eventually, honestly. They just want the best for you :D
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Postby mickslogun » Tue May 24, 2005 8:39 pm

X_Smiler_X wrote:I know darling, Parents only want the best for their kids, and that is all they are wishing on you. But they have to let go, let their son grow up and make decisions for himself.

Sit them down, talk to them, prove to them you know what you are doing. They will come round eventually, honestly. They just want the best for you :D


Yeah i know, i appreciate it, and it's nice and everything but at the same time it makes everything way worse and more stressful because there's the 'if you don't do it you won't get anywhere' thing, which makes it like you can't talk to anyone. I don't know, i'll try again soon i guess
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Postby X_Smiler_X » Tue May 24, 2005 8:42 pm

You do that hun, you will get there eventually!

K xx
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Postby nothings_shocking » Tue May 24, 2005 8:46 pm

I understand where you are coming from my parents are exactly the same!
Yes they are looking out for us and wanting the best but really it is what is best for them. If you want to leave college and have found something else to do then that is fair enough. I can see where they are coming from if you are just going to leave and just sit around the house. If you have plans you need to seriuosly talk to them.
Parents need to give you some space to let you think of things properly and without their influence.
Do what you feel is right. Yes, they may feel disappointed but they will be proud in the long run.
Chin up.
x x x
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Postby mickslogun » Tue May 24, 2005 8:50 pm

nothings_shocking wrote:I understand where you are coming from my parents are exactly the same!
Yes they are looking out for us and wanting the best but really it is what is best for them. If you want to leave college and have found something else to do then that is fair enough. I can see where they are coming from if you are just going to leave and just sit around the house. If you have plans you need to seriuosly talk to them.
Parents need to give you some space to let you think of things properly and without their influence.
Do what you feel is right. Yes, they may feel disappointed but they will be proud in the long run.
Chin up.
x x x


Exactly, thanks. It's their ideals and what they think is right, rather than what is best for me as an individual. They put so much emphasis on education and money, and i don't agree with it, i've seen a lot of ugly situations because of worrying over money, and i don't think it's worth it. Although you need it, you don't need bucketloads of it, you need enough. People get greedy and lose sight of themselves. But i'm rambling here, basically that's their opinion and i just want something different for my life than what they would consider the 'best' thing.
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Postby mickslogun » Tue May 24, 2005 8:51 pm

X_Smiler_X wrote:You do that hun, you will get there eventually!

K xx


Thanks for the help
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Postby nothings_shocking » Tue May 24, 2005 9:00 pm

Parents just want you to have what they didn't and basically you are them as a younger model (scary i know). They want you to do what they never did. The thing is they may even be seeing themselves in you this is why they want you to stick at it.
Yes parents do think with out all the further education, you are not going to get anywhere in life and you don't want to work in a supermarket for the rest of your life etc, the think is if you are not happy then you need to do something you enjoy, that makes you happy. If you are happy then your parents will get happy.
Yes, parents expectations are high but when you complete a course they will be proud.
They just want you to have the best in everything. Parents do think that you cannot get anywhere without having money today. To a certain extent they are right but like you said having enough money to pay everything and have a little left over for a rainy day seems fine to me.
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Postby mickslogun » Tue May 24, 2005 9:18 pm

nothings_shocking wrote:Parents just want you to have what they didn't and basically you are them as a younger model (scary i know). They want you to do what they never did. The thing is they may even be seeing themselves in you this is why they want you to stick at it.
Yes parents do think with out all the further education, you are not going to get anywhere in life and you don't want to work in a supermarket for the rest of your life etc, the think is if you are not happy then you need to do something you enjoy, that makes you happy. If you are happy then your parents will get happy.
Yes, parents expectations are high but when you complete a course they will be proud.
They just want you to have the best in everything. Parents do think that you cannot get anywhere without having money today. To a certain extent they are right but like you said having enough money to pay everything and have a little left over for a rainy day seems fine to me.


You're right, completely. Why live to 102 if you're bored to death? I'd rather get to my dying age and look back and say 'i had a lot of fun, i had a happy life and i don't regret what i did' rather than 'well, i didn't do much, but i had a lot of money, lot of possessions'. But what good are possessions really? They don't mean anything in the grand scheme of things, they're replaceable. I remember Freddie mercury once saying 'the most important thing is to have a fantastic life, as long as it's fantastic i'm not bothered how long it lasts' and that really struck something with me, because i totally agree. You get one shot at life, and it's best to go at it and take risks and have a blast doing it instead of playing by someone elses rules of 'this is the best thing'
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Postby nothings_shocking » Tue May 24, 2005 9:29 pm

I agree with what you are saying. You cannot take your possessions and your bank balance with you when you die. Well my aunt said "When i die i will be the richest women in the grave yard." Stupid comment yes as you cannot spend money when you are dead.
Yes you are right to want to have fun, but you do need a certain amount of education in todays society.
Consider your parents but you final decision must not be based on what they think/want.
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Postby mickslogun » Tue May 24, 2005 9:56 pm

nothings_shocking wrote:I agree with what you are saying. You cannot take your possessions and your bank balance with you when you die. Well my aunt said "When i die i will be the richest women in the grave yard." Stupid comment yes as you cannot spend money when you are dead.
Yes you are right to want to have fun, but you do need a certain amount of education in todays society.
Consider your parents but you final decision must not be based on what they think/want.


You're right. Don't get me wrong, i think education is important, if not just to live ignorance. Leaving school doesn't mean the end of education, the entire process of life is about learning, leaving school just means no more certificates. I've noticed that people will less money have much more fulfilment and satisfaction in their lives because they don't rely on money to fill that void, they don't need an expensive new item or a holiday in the sun to be happy, they satisfy themselves with what is really satisfying, whereas the ones with the money to burn feel that the money takes care of everything and they become complacent with their lives and say 'youre unhappy? ok lets go away for a week'. Well yeah, it's nice, but it's not necessarily important.
Money only lasts as long as you let it anyway, you don't need a 6 bedroom house and 5 cars, you have a bigger bank balance but you have a more extravogent lifestyle to compensate for it. It's not unheard of for millionaires to go bankrupt through excessive spending
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