Shyness

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Shyness

Postby Something_totally_Wrong » Sun Jun 12, 2005 7:41 pm

I'm shy -very shy, and it is effecting my work in class. It's really annoying and i hate it so much, but whenever i have to speak out in class or do some sort of performance i freak out.

Take the other day in music, I nailed the practise, i could do it perfectly, sir even commented on it... it's just that when it came to performing in front of everyone, my hands started shaking and i could press any of the right keys - i might aswell have pressed down on every single key on the board, it would've hadd the same affect.

This doesn't really matter all that much to me, it's just that in lessons we have to work in groups alot, and i feel like i let my friends down alot because i panic so much. It isn't just my work that suffers, it's their's aswell.

Performing isn't the only problem. People know that I'm shy, they know that i won't stand up for myself, so they think that this is an ideal reason to push me around. In lessons people steal my stuff, laugh at me, call me names... I've tried to talk to my teachers aobut it, but it's just, i feel that no one really understands me. I feel like i can't talk to anyone aobut it.

I've debated all over the weekend about whether or not i should post this topic up here, I mean, it seems such a trivial thing, but it really depress me. My friends don't fully understand how i feel, as i don't often tell them what i think, I've tried, but it's like, i always seem to sugar coat things, just so that they don't really know how bad I'm feeling, 'cos i don't want them to laugh at me...

Soz this is so long, just I sort of have alot of stuff on my mind at the moment...
Tar for reading
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Postby Krazycow » Sun Jun 12, 2005 7:46 pm

Aww Hun......try and be a bit more extrovert like me.......dont let people push you around. if they do something, do something back to them.....
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Postby Jess1234 » Sun Jun 12, 2005 9:17 pm

DOnt be afraid to stand up to people. Being shy isnt a bad thing but you cant let people walk all over you coz that just makes you feel really bad. If you stand up to the people who are being nasty to you then they should stop. I hope things get better soon.
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Postby JennaXXX » Mon Jun 13, 2005 10:03 am

I know exactly how you feel. I am a shy person and I was just like you at school. Just remember to take deep breaths and be as natural as you possibly can when you are presenting in front of the class. Remind yourself that it will be over in minutes.
Why dont you try talking to a teacher you trust again? IF your classmates are calling you names and taking your stuff this is considered bullying. You shouldn't have to put up with this.

I hope things improve and dont beat yourself up about being shy. I am sure that you have many good qualities which your other classmates dont share. You can only be yourself and if people dont like it then thats their problem. X
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Postby brielle » Mon Jun 13, 2005 7:52 pm

I think if you have sorted out how you feel about these situations, and know why you are like this then you are half way there. You could be one of those people who are extra sensitive, thats a good thing, you also could be a bit more mature for your age, thats why you think your class mates could make fun of you, and you would probably never do the same thing back to them.
Well we cant change the way we behave in certain situations, but I think. with a bit more confidence and understanding, ( Im sure you have more of that than your class mates already) you are bound to attract loads of friends and support.
Well, You have my support, x
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Postby Something_totally_Wrong » Thu Jun 16, 2005 1:08 pm

I am trying, believe me, I'm trying very hard to raise my voice a little... but everytime I feeling like I'm starting to make some progress, someone will just do something to knock me down to the bottom...

It's horrible, like i said before, i can't really tel my friends, but what I'm trying to do is get some of my friends to see this site, so perhaps they'll start to understand how upset I'm feeling...
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Postby singingsmiler » Thu Jun 16, 2005 1:13 pm

Hey hun,
It will take time to build up confidence - i was hideously shy at school and now i'm a teacher :o
Just take small steps maybe start to answer one question a lesson and when you are in groups don't put yourself under too much pressure - all groups need good listeners!!

Don't be down lovely - you cheer me up no end on here :D
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me too

Postby tinkerbell1 » Fri Jun 17, 2005 8:20 pm

im a very shy person tooo that shy that at parents evening my mom and dad are told that im very quiet indeed and i need to speak up in class all my friends say i nreed to talk more amnd stop getting nervous i cant help but i carry on and i dont care what eople say just stand up for yorself people will ssoon leave you alone and probably understand you arent afraid of them and have shown your confidence!
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Postby Liquidius » Fri Jun 17, 2005 9:24 pm

Being shy is something many people find so very hard to overcome - but you can do it :) It's all about building up your confidence! Try starting with little things, like answering one question in class - and once you've mastered this, try something bigger! You'll learn to ignore any people that made horrible comments at you, but for the time being just think how much of a life these people have if the best thing they can think of doing is insulting you.

I was really shy until year 8, when a similar thing happened to me. Only I got fed up - a girl had nicked my pen, claiming it was hers. I pushed her off her stall, took my pen back and it never happened again. Believe me, it was worth the detention AND the shouting I got when I got home! If you can stand up for yourself just once toward these people, you'll feel so much better for it.

I'm just starting a summer job as a tour guide now - I really worked on building the self confidence. You just need to persevere, you can do it :) PM me if you want any more tips or advice!
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Postby Something_totally_Wrong » Thu Jun 23, 2005 8:12 pm

Right, ok, thanks for all of your absolutly great advise, I really appreciate it and I'm going to take it all into account. I'm going to take everything slowly at the moment... and I am doing my hardest to find somethings that will help me a little.
I'm doing a peer mentoring thing at the moment, my teacher said that I'll be good at it as I do enjoy helping others, so I'm going to give that a shot and we'll see where it goes from there.

But yup, like i said, thanks for all your support, you guys always know how to help a girl when she's feeling down.

Tar very much.
me.
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Postby Secret_days » Sun Jul 31, 2005 1:56 pm

everyone gets shy sometimes and you will be suprised how many people do get nervous when having to do something in front of the class
i know how you feel and most of your teachers will realise that your shy and try make you more confident by picking you to perform in front of the class
and other people will realise that you are unlikely to say anything if they do pick on you or steal your stuff
because of this you are in a vulnerable situation and people are more likly to bully you remember that this is not toterated in schools or anywhere and you should tell a teacher you trust that you are having a difficult time in class and ask them to maybe talk to your teachers
also you could try surprising your 'bullies' by say no when they take your stuff or telling the teacher that so and so has taken your pen or whatever it is
also when you are to perform i recommend just go for it and think what is there to lose at worse you can make a fool of yourself and people will laugh
but you could be really good and you will feel so much better
just remember its not the end of the world if a performance goes wrong
and try and focus on what your good at
yeh you might be bad at performing in class but you can write brilliant essays and get a's and stuff
xxx
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