I'm in such a mess

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I'm in such a mess

Postby smile » Fri Jul 01, 2005 11:26 pm

Okay well you may or may not know that I had problems attending school a few years ago due to anxiety problems. I went to hell and back during that time and had no intention of going through that again. After having a very long period off school I came out of school passing all my GCSEs but remained undecided during the summer as to what I wanted to do next. I decided I wanted to do something with photography and took up AS/A Levels in my college. I thought it was a brand new start for me, no need to do a repeat of the whole school thing again.

Well it was okay up until Xmas, I attended all classes, was getting high marks in coursework and mocks but then I was off for about two weeks with the flu. Afterwards I started panicking about going back because I'd missed so much and as a result started to feel anxious again and didn't turn up for quite a few classes. I explained to all of my lecturers exactly what has been going on and let my Senior Tutor and tutor know. I also informed the college about my anxiety problem at the beginning of college too. Well anyway to cut a long story short I haven't been attending much recently because I've been so worried about what will be said. I just work myself up and get to the point of no return.

I have completed ALL of the work and am up to date with it all. I've sat my AS exams and I think I'll do alright in them. I've even handed in my photography project for next year! Anyway I saw my senior tutor today and she's taking me off the register for next year, basicly saying that I won't be coming back due to my attendance levels. :cry: She knows exactly what's been going on, I haven't been bunking and I do want to be in college. I'm up to date with every piece of work but she says my attendance level is not acceptable. I could understand her decision if I have been bunking or if I was behind in all of my work but I'm not! I can't help it if I start to feel anxious before college. I can't believe it, been in tears all day and just don't know what to do. It's so unfair.

I am desperate to do a degree in photography but I'm not even sure if it's possible now. I can appeal the decision but to be honest she advised me to look at other colleges as the final decision is hers and she said herself that she thought it would be in my best interests to start elsewhere. How the hell does she know? She doesn't even know me. I love the social side of college life, I've established myself and have a big group of friends and I don't want to lose that. I've also paid for trips that I'm supposed to be going on next year. There is no way I'm going to another college though, I don't want to do the whole start fresh thing again but this time I won't know anyone and I'll be a year older than everyone else. Plus all of my local colleges are ones that I decided not to go to for one reason or another, and there is only one that does photography however it's a small college and there are people that I know from my past that go there and to be honest I'd rather keep them in my past.

Any advice would be grately appreciated though, I'm shattered. Can't believe it, just feel like curling up in a ball and disappearing for a year. :cry: :(

I just don't know what to do.
When you reach for the stars, you may not quite get them, but you won't come up with a handful of mud either.

Just remember to keep smiling!
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Postby nothings_shocking » Fri Jul 01, 2005 11:34 pm

hey huni,
sorry to hear about all of it.
You are not a mess, you are a wonderful person who is doing so well!!
If you curled up into a ball then i will leave the planet!
Don't worry about what other people think!!! Who are they to judge you without knowing the full story?
You have been dealing so well with it. Has anything else been different apart from the flu?
You can get through this. We will try our best to help you.
Don't forget dori speaks whale.
*hugs
x x x
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Postby peecee » Sat Jul 02, 2005 12:07 am

Right. So you can appeal the decision - do it. What have you got to lose?

Tell her everything you've written down here - I'm sure you've done that already, but do it again. You need to make her see that you are deadly serious about staying on, and you will do everything in your power to do so. Ask her calmly why she thinks you'd do better somewhere else? She can't just make a statement like that with nothing to back it up.

Have you seen the doctor? Can you get anything in writing from him/her about your medical progress, to convince the Black Widow that you've had problems, but you're on the mend?

Hate to ask this, but would it help if your mum had a word with her? What about your other tutors? Would they put a word in, as they are aware of what's been going on?

Have a couple of days to feel sorry for yourself, me darling, then get up and SHOW HER! :evil:

xxxxxxxxxxxx
pee

(if all else fails, I'll phone her and sing down the phone - if that doesn't scare her witless, nothing will! :wink: I sound like a cross between a crow and a dog with a sort throat... :oops: )
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Postby Liquidius » Sat Jul 02, 2005 8:05 am

I think you should appeal the decision. She's just one person, and the fact you're appealing would show her how much you care about the course. In the long term, if you end up at another college, it'll be ok :) You'll get to meet loads of new people, but I can really see where you're coming from.

If I was in your situation, I'd go and see her, and tell her exactly what has been going on with your anxiety issues. If need be, get a doctors note. It's completely unfair what she's doing, especially when you explained to her beforehand.
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Postby mew_mew_kitten » Sat Jul 02, 2005 10:57 am

This is a really unfair situation. I really don't understand why she is not letting you carry on, you've done all your work, even next years project, your exam results will probably be great and I'm sure you are not an unruly student.

My attendance last year was 43% overall. My college are more than happy to let me do my A2 Levels, considering I do Chemistry and Biology which among others are very difficult to get your head around. I was away due to lack of enthusiasm, illness, and some other problems I won't go into here. Your circumstances are also exceptional and you need to make your lecturer see that.

Do you have a Tutor? If you do, I suggest you go and talk to them and get them to talk to your Photography lecturer. They can see things a lot differently when an adult is talking to them.
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Postby smile » Sun Jul 03, 2005 12:45 am

Thanks guys you've put a smile on my face. Got a bit of a game plan sorted here, still don't feel too positive about it but I'll let you know more once I've had some sleep.

Thanks for all your support though, it means a lot.
When you reach for the stars, you may not quite get them, but you won't come up with a handful of mud either.

Just remember to keep smiling!
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Postby luvva » Sun Jul 03, 2005 12:52 am

I hope everything goes okay!

When I read your problem, I thought it was really good how you have completed all of your work, and if you haven't even been in college much, that is really great! I think I'd get too distracted away from the classroom environment.

Well, keep us all updated, and I hope your gameplan works! :)
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Postby arwen » Mon Jul 04, 2005 11:08 am

Definitely appeal the decision, even if for no other reason than to show how seriously you are taking it.
You will be able to do your photography degree, even if the worst comes to the worst, there's always Open University. But it won't come to that, I am sure you will get things sorted out. I'm guessing your tutor was trying to make a point about your attendance and once you've proved your seriousness it won't come to anything so drastic as taking you off the register.
What's your game plan then hun?
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Postby smile » Mon Jul 04, 2005 2:07 pm

Thanks for all of your support. :)

Well... I went and saw my lecturers today and told them what happened and they were all willing to write letters and make telephone calls to my Senior Tutor to back up my case. I also spoke to my tutor about the process of kicking someone out and I'm not sure if they followed it correctly. Basicly for attendance what usually happens is the person gets put on report and then is closely monitered while on report. If it doesn't improve then the options for that person is discussed. Well I wasn't even put on report, I only got one letter warning me that if I didn't get in contact with my senior tutor within 7 days of the letter to discuss the situation then I would be removed from the register. So of course I rang her straight away to discuss it. She arranged an 'informal chat' with me on Monday and I didn't go because I'd got myself into a state worrying about the rest of my lessons. The next thing I know I'm asked not to come back.

I thought screw that and turned up today. Spoke to all of my lecturers and gave my tutor a piece of my mind. I've got to keep it sweet though cos I can't really be seen as too overpowering otherwise it might blow my chances. But I've got an appointment with my head of faculty this week and my parents are going to come along to that. I'm determined not to go without a good fight. Stupid college.

I'll keep you updated.
When you reach for the stars, you may not quite get them, but you won't come up with a handful of mud either.

Just remember to keep smiling!
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Postby arwen » Mon Jul 04, 2005 2:10 pm

Sounds promising smile, and I think you're doing the right thing. Don't let them get away with it! :)
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Postby Liquidius » Mon Jul 04, 2005 3:17 pm

Good on you! You're doing the right thing! :)
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Postby smile » Thu Jul 07, 2005 9:48 pm

Well... Had my meeting today and argued my case. He was actually pretty impressed and let me stay on next year! :D :o :D Wahoooo!!!

Thanks so much for all of your help. :) So glad it's over now so I can concentrate on getting back into it next year.
When you reach for the stars, you may not quite get them, but you won't come up with a handful of mud either.

Just remember to keep smiling!
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Postby arwen » Fri Jul 08, 2005 9:04 am

I knew you'd get it sorted - good on you gal! :D
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Postby mew_mew_kitten » Fri Jul 08, 2005 11:01 am

Well done Smile!!! :-)

We all secretly knew you'd do it.... =D>
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Postby smile » Fri Jul 08, 2005 11:49 pm

Aww, thanks. :D It's such a relief knowing it's all sorted though, can enjoy my summer now.
When you reach for the stars, you may not quite get them, but you won't come up with a handful of mud either.

Just remember to keep smiling!
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