we were so happy untill HE came along

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we were so happy untill HE came along

Postby loopylolz123 » Wed May 23, 2007 2:51 pm

im having alot of trouble latley with my boyfriend and another guy
my boyfriend (steven) is so sweet i love him so much and would do anything for him even die.
but theres another guy(john) hes reali cool. i met john about 2 weeks ago and we instantly clicked he's a really good mate 2 me.
he likes me in a more than friend way.
i told steven about this and as you could probably imagin he wasent happy at all, he told me to lose all contact with john as he was gunna come between us. i didint believe this for 1 second so carried on hangin out wiv john and talking to him on msn.
i started 2 believe steven about a week ago when john sent me a text sayin 'wen you gunna leave your boyfriend for me then? john xxxx'
steven saw this text and flipped and we had a argument. we have sat down together and descussed the whole thing about a million times and steven keeps telling mme to stop contact with john before he splits us up.
i have just sent john an email saying that i basically want all contact with him stopped and i have deleted him from msn and deleted his number from my phone'
i know i did the right thing but now thinkin about it john onli asked if i was gunna leave steven once and has really not done anything just be a good friend to me.
i did it for me and steven coz i know that if me and john carried on contact with eachother we would of ended up splitting up.
just wondering what any of you would of done if you was in this situation.

Laura
xxxxx
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Postby hanwap » Thu May 24, 2007 12:05 pm

Do you fancy John? You say if you continued contact with him you would have split up with Steven but you don't say why, do you mean you would have split up cause Steven hates you being in touch, or because you would like John more than Steven!? Either way this is a classic situation where a guy and girl are mates, one falls for the other and the other thinks "oh but we're such good friends". If John wants you, he will probably do whatever it takes to get you away from Steven. You say you'd die for Steven but you won't even stop contact with someone you've known two weeks and who blatantly wants to get Steven out of the picture? How would you feel? I think Steven is completely within his rights to ask this of you, if it was a lifelong male friend he was asking you to stop seeing I'd say fair enough this needs a bit more deliberation, but for a guy you hardly know??? If you love Steven like you say you do you'll respect him and end things with John once and for all. If you can't bear not to see or hear from John then you seriously need to consider what it is you want, and from whom! xx
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Postby loopylolz123 » Mon Jun 18, 2007 2:20 pm

no i do not fancy john steven said he would end it because he thought i was gunna leave him or cheat on him with john, i just thought he was quite fit but i have taken a closer look and realised that he isint even the slightest bit attrative. i do really love steven and i have stopped all contact with john and i dont miss him the tinyist bit infact as he has caused all this rubbish wiv me and steven i really dont even like him anymore.
im still feeling really depressed about the whole thing and dnt know what to do. its eating me up inside that i brought him into a perfectly good relationship and messed it all up,as i live on the same estate as john i still see him alot but never pay him any attention he always says hi but i completly blank him.
my parents,friends and school teachers have all noticed a difference in me, and not a good one, i think john may be the reason as since i met him i have been quite depressed.
Laura
xxxxx

Edit by Pwif: no swearing please. Ta :P
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Postby retrochav » Mon Jun 18, 2007 10:21 pm

Okay, well lets start with the deppression thing. You should try not to beat yourself up about all this. You trusted someone, and they read the signals wrongly. You and your boyfriend felt this was too risky for the relationship you are in so you made a decision to completly cut ties and make it clear you arent available. There is nothing to feel guilty about....

...however! Be honest with yourself, its nice to have someone find us attractive, even though we have no interest in risking what we already have. You had a friendship, it made you feel good, okay he crossed a line and pushed his luck, but its still gonna leave a sense of emptyness.
whatever your problem someone else has been there and bears the scars.
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Postby loopylolz123 » Thu Jun 21, 2007 1:00 pm

the thing is that im really depressed about it all. im never really happy exept ever so often and its proper doin ma head in. im ruinin the relationship coz im always depressed.
john is an idiot.
yeah i guess its nice to be found attractive but he didint have to take it so far as to try and get me to brake up with my boyfriend for him a decent person would respect the fact that im taken and leave it at that.

Edit by Pwif: please note again PP rules about no swearing. Also, no abuse. Thanks.
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