Nice people get treated the worst?

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Nice people get treated the worst?

Postby lilcutie » Fri Dec 21, 2007 4:08 am

Why is it that nice people get treated the worst. All of my life ive thought about how other people would feel if i did this or that and how to plan my life in a way tht would make other people like me, forgetting about mysef. It just feels like out of my niceness and genorosity ive been treated badly by people who thought they could walk all over me!! And why is it that bitchy girls are happier and seem to have better lives than genuinely nice people? Backstabbing people are happier with their lives than those who would never hurt anyone
somebody please tell me the logic in this!!!
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Postby Bel Bel » Fri Dec 21, 2007 12:13 pm

No I disagree.
It may seem that way but you can be nice and asserive and that is the difference.
You need to satnd up for yourself when necessary and you don't need to keep people as friends who turn out not to be a good friend after all
Bitches always get their comeupance and are often bitchy to hide their own insecurities.
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Postby lilcutie » Fri Dec 21, 2007 4:44 pm

no it just feels like all the horrible people in the world always get what they want because they are selfish and therefore get what they want regardless of others. why cant it be like tht with nice people? surely they deserve it more?? and why do men always fancy girls who treat them badly?? its rather frustrating!
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Postby unsure&confused » Mon Dec 24, 2007 10:57 pm

i agree with you lilcutie, i dont understand either, i know some very bitchy people and they always land on their feet and get whatever they want. im the complete opposite and yet i find myself miserable and never quite reaching that happy state.

as for men liking bitchy girls - i wish i knew.
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Postby HappyGoLucky » Tue Dec 25, 2007 3:04 am

I disagree.

Not all people in the world who are horrible are treated nicely. Some nice people are treated nicely too. I'm quite sure not all men like bitchy girls!

Some people act bitchy because they are just insecure. They probably don't have much friends who stick by them. These people are just friends with them to "look" good etc. You should just ignore them.
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Postby unsure&confused » Wed Dec 26, 2007 12:20 am

i dont get it, how can it look good to be friends with such people.

i may get walked all over constantly but being nice is me and i dont think id want to change that.

maybe karma will get the bitchy ones in the end..... i can only hope anyway!
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Postby marisa » Wed Dec 26, 2007 4:10 am

please dont change! it may feel like as your good person :D you always get screwed over - and sadly sumx that is true, bt stay true to yourself and hopefully things will not always be that way. [-o< i agree with some of the other posts in that, you can defend your self and stand up to people without being a witch/hurting other people. Also do you really think the bitchy girls with very few (if any) real friends are all that happy?

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edited by peecee for swearing. *coolsanta2*
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Postby LaughinLoud » Fri Dec 28, 2007 1:48 am

bitchy girls have no1 who'll stand up to them and tell them how pathetic they really are because generally people are afraid of what'll be said afterwards and what if no1 else feels the way they feel?
but they're definately not liked and would you rather have a horrible personality and have all these negative things going on around you all the sausage time?! forget 'em cause one day someone'll turn round n give what they've had comin to em, whether it's a smack or a general talk tellin em where they can shove their bitchy remarks, trust me on that one

keep bein nice cause one day you'll be rewarded for it, and don't you feel good when you know you've done somat good for someone? i get how ya feel cos sometimes- even though you don't wanna sound like you're only doin it to get recognition- you still want people to be grateful for what you do! lol and it'll happen, don't worry. people probably appreciate you now, but it could be a case of you being too much of a doormat to em, lettin others take it on you so to speak. so try to be assertive n confident even though it feels as though you're becoming a human punch bag


xxxx
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Postby yessica » Tue Jan 15, 2008 9:44 pm

But the nice people are often more respected and trusted and though it may take a while, can get what they want. In the end the everyone get's tired of the selfish people.

Assertiveness is a problem for me. I need to learn to stand up fro myself. But I hate saying 'no' and dissappointing you. But in the long run it's the best thing for yourself or you'll become tired and as it seems you're fed up of being trodden all over.
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Postby Neesy » Fri Feb 01, 2008 4:41 pm

Don't change who you are.

When I was at school (many years ago) I was one of the quiet, mousy types and there were a lot of bitchy girls. I have since met a few of them now they have grown up and every one of them said how much they regretted the way they were to people.
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Postby helicopterpilot » Sun Feb 03, 2008 9:05 pm

There's a difference between being nice and being assertive and not standing for BS in my opinion.

You can be too nice and have an optimistic view on the world, or you can get real and believe the truth that some people out there do genuinely just want to screw you and get what they can out of you.

I think the best people in life and the happiest are the ones who are nice and friendly, but people don't want to mess with them simply because they know that they won't take anything but good from them

(If that makes sense?)

Just my two pence worth anyhow.....
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Postby Yellowcoaching » Sun Feb 03, 2008 10:02 pm

Hi helicopterpilot and all

I am a happy person and I'd agree that you can't just be a happy doormat, I always expect that others are trying their best and am always the optimist. But I am assertive too about how others treat me and themselves fort hat matter. I feel good about the way I behave and my expectations of others in return.

We can't control others but we can control ourselves and set boundaries for others we accept into our lives.
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Postby Sumguy Hannibal » Tue Mar 11, 2008 11:20 pm

Im glad that there are people like you who think about how the people around you feel if you did action a, or say soandso b. There needs to be more understanding and seeing things from others point of view, to try to visualise what it is like in their shoes etc. So gratz for that! Never change, I like to think that maybe just maybe that those selfish people will get whats coming to them from their actions, (eventually what goes around will come around). Or even that perhaps that it might be a Karma thing too?

In my family I seem to be the only one who thinks selflessly, when everyone else thinks selfishly, (and its really killing my goodwill slowly but surely). And yes I seemed to notice that these 'bad' people seem to get what they want in life when the few good get nothing but trouble amd pain. But think of it this way, at the end of the day, your mind is clear of guilt, when thiers maybe hiding in a closet at the back of their minds :)

Stay as you are as best you can, but try to ditch those friends that seem to be leeching or using you, freindship has to have give and take too.
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