Lazy bloke

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Lazy bloke

Postby mummylady08 » Tue Jan 08, 2008 6:20 am

I am in desperate need of some help. I have been with my fella for nearly nine years we have to children age 5 and 2. he is unemployed (i am on sick due to illness). all he doe's al day is sit and play on his pc or playstation, if he makes something to eat he never cleans up the mess, he won't do the laundry, wash the pots (we have a dishwasher so it is easy) the house work and me and our children are right at the bottom of his priorities. in the past i have made some stupid mistakes, when i was 17 i left home and didn't speak to my mum for 2 years, in that time i got involved in drugs and prostitution to pay for my speed habit. i have since sorted my life out and i am drug free and do longer do the disgusting thigs i did when i was younger (i am 30 in 2 months) i want to leave him but he can get very nasty and said he will tell my whole family! they will definatly disown me as they are tottally disgusted with the idea of a woman selling her body for money! how can i get my partner to help me around the house! please someone who understands this HELP!"
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Postby Bel Bel » Tue Jan 08, 2008 10:14 am

You can't let him blackmail you
If you wnat to leave do it and tell your family he is making up nasty stories about you to friends to get back at you for splitting up with him. This will prepare them for what he says but they are likely to beleive he is just an angry jilted lover.
Unless he has actual proof it will be your word against his
If you want to stay then you have to tell him that this isn't the way you want your children to grow up beleiving it is ok be. You want to be a better more productive family. After all you teach your children how to be treated by the way you allow yourself to be treated.
Perhaps you could list all the jobs in the house and ask him to pick a couple of jobs he is willing to do. This gives him choices and means you not nagging him to do one particular job.
Also tell him you want some family time even if it is just taking the kids to the park together for an hour.
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Postby Yellowcoaching » Thu Jan 10, 2008 10:20 am

I agree, if you feel you want out of this relationship theyn anything he says without proof is probably going to be ignored by your family.

He seems like a man who needs to control you, by whatever means he can. You are the mother of his children and he's making that kind of threat?
Get some support from friends or family as you prepare for the split, you don't ahve to tell them in detail what's going on just keep it vague about his threats so they are prepared and won't give him the time of day.
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Postby teardrop » Thu Jan 10, 2008 10:27 am

givehim a choice.help or split and he can take his pick. if he says he will tell your family about your past say....well you prove it. if he would stoop that low hes not worth being with.tell him to get a job so you can all benefit from it.
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