Been lied to.

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Been lied to.

Postby PurePurple » Mon Feb 04, 2008 8:42 am

Hi All, I really need some reassurance or serious cheering up right now.

A few months ago my friend broke up with his girlfriend because she cheated on him. He came to me wanting help which is what I gave him, I helped him through it all and he finally was OK after the split.. He then proceeded to call her all the names under the sun, And she was constantly leaving texts, Ringing his house phone and leaving comments on Myspace begging for him back, Then she would go for a few weeks, And come back, Begging for him back.

He resisted for a while, Removed her off MSN and Myspace. They both sorted out their differences and were "mates" Again, He called her all the names under the sun to me on MSN. He even told me he liked someone else, And texted her with "I want you to be my gf.."

Now I find out, He's back with his ex!! I am absoloutley fuming because he's lied to me, And goodness knows how many other people, And soon they're going to click! :evil: I just want to know what to do, How can I be his friend when he's lied to me?! I am in peices because he's lied to me, And he means a hell of a lot to me, What have I done to deserve this? :cry:
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Postby Bel Bel » Mon Feb 04, 2008 10:44 am

I think he was scared to tell people but he shouldn't have lied and made the whole thing bigger than it needed to be
I would confront him and say you confused and don't understand becasue of all his comments
I suspect he will tell you he was fighting his true feelings and it was sort of a defence mechanism to pretend to hate her
However at some point he could have toned it down and certainly could have told you he was thinking of getting back with her once he had made up his mind
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Postby all_apologies » Mon Feb 04, 2008 2:17 pm

Don't get angry about it; it's not your drama. Don't know if I've misread your post but I'm not quite sure how he's lied to you? Is it just because he said he didn't want her back and now he's back together with her? I wouldn't worry too much, couples can be angry at each other but still have feelings for one another. As I said, don't work yourself up over something that you're not a part of, it's not worth it!
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Postby PurePurple » Mon Feb 04, 2008 6:05 pm

all_apologies wrote:Don't know if I've misread your post but I'm not quite sure how he's lied to you?


He's lied to me because he said he would NEVER get back with her, Also he called her this, that and the other.. Saying how much he hates her, And he told me he liked someone else, A hell of a lot.. She's absoloutley torn, the girl he said he liked.
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Postby all_apologies » Mon Feb 04, 2008 9:46 pm

It's not as if it was a personal lie to you though though. If I swore blind I'd never again eat chocolate and then had a big fat Mars Bar tomorrow it wouldn't be the end of the world, because the only person I'd have broken that promise to is myself. It'd be a different story if he was, for instance, going out with you when he told you he wasn't interested in her. He's wasn't though, so I honestly think you're stressing yourself out for no good reason.

As for the other girl, was he actually seeing her when he got back with his ex, or had he just expressed his interest in her? I do agree it's a bit of a shame on her, but why are you working yourself up over it when it doesn't involve you? Do you have stronger feelings for him than as just friends?
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Postby HappyGoLucky » Tue Feb 05, 2008 10:47 am

PurePurple wrote:He's lied to me because he said he would NEVER get back with her, Also he called her this, that and the other.. Saying how much he hates her, And he told me he liked someone else, A hell of a lot.. She's absoloutley torn, the girl he said he liked.


I think people actually say things they don't mean when they're angry/frustrated. Even if he said he'd never get back with her and told you how much he hated her etc., I don't think he really meant it all.
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Postby queenieplum » Tue Feb 05, 2008 3:39 pm

Hello, I agree with the others here - he didn't lie to you he just wanted to vent his anger about the situation to someone. I think maybe if this happens again, just be the person to listen, but don't offer that much advice as all he wants is to off-load what's been happening. That way you do not get emotionally attached to his issues. Just be supportive as a friend but don't get too involved as you will be the one spending your energy on trying to fix things and they will just work out their problems irrespective of what you say.
QP x
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Postby PurePurple » Tue Feb 05, 2008 4:51 pm

all_apologies wrote:Do you have stronger feelings for him than as just friends?



I used to, but I don't like him anymore. He is a really confusing lad.
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Postby Bel Bel » Tue Feb 05, 2008 4:56 pm

If you know he is prone to confusing take everything he says with a pinch of salt that way he can't hurt you again
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Postby PurePurple » Tue Feb 05, 2008 4:58 pm

My Dad told me to do that^^
Even though I dunno what it means :o

I need to start taking peoples advice cos I always find they're right #-o
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Postby Bel Bel » Tue Feb 05, 2008 5:03 pm

It means "listen but take no notice" basically
You know you can never really beleive what he says so don't
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Postby PurePurple » Tue Feb 05, 2008 5:09 pm

Ohh thanks :)
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