I've been trawling through "Cheer me up!" and have rediscovered this one!
I've got a funny story from my brother's 18th...6 years ago.
Very predictable but we all went down to the local pub, my brother, me, some of my friends, my boyfriend at the time, and about 60 of my brother's very dearest friends. We pretty much packed out the place. My brother was sinking pint after pint, as was his want, and bellowing along with the jukebox. He would disappear for a bit but return every once in a while (usually when his pint ran out). At one point he was wondering around telling anyone who would listen that he was going to sleep in a sleeping bag when he got home (he was staying with me that night so I could keep an eye on him) and that he had the best sleeping bag in the world. He then came up to me and said "I'm having one more drink....DON'T TELL MY SISTER!"
I lost track of him for a bit after that so I decided to get some air. I heard a commotion round the side of the pub and found my brother weeing up against the wall. This was not so unusual (although not something I wanted to see per se) until I heard him ask the wall "for it's brick in marriage" and "would it make him the happiest man on earth?"
Time to take him home after that I thought. Although he didn't make it easy. He hugged a lampost, he tripped and fell up the stairs, weed all over my floor and generally gave Glasgow a bad name. But he got to his sleeping bag in the end.
He was mortified the next day...but has managed to control his behaviour now.
Go to Glasgow at least once in your life and have a roll and square sliced sausage and a cup of tea. When you feel the tea coursing over your spice-singed tongue, you'll know what I mean when I say:
'It's good to be alive!'"
- Billy Connolly