Losing My lifeline

Go here if you need cheering up, or if you feel the urge to cheer someone else up!
Forum rules
NEW USERS HAVE TO WAIT FOR THEIR FIRST POSTS TO BE APPROVED BY AN ADMINISTRATOR. Rules | Essential Information | FAQ | Support | Twitter

Losing My lifeline

Postby fiftyone » Fri Oct 24, 2008 9:25 am

My ex husband has lived nearby for many years and supported me and our children well financially but not so much in other ways. For example he hasn't been there for the children much or spent that much time with them other than when THEY go and visit HIM. Nevertheless they have maintained a reasonably good relationship and he has supported them through university. I have received an income from him and worked part time so have been lucky in this respect. I don't have a partner and would love one and for this reason I am quite lonely. We have always met up for birthdays in the past and while I found it a bit emotional at times (him too) the children loved getting together.

I just found out that he is moving to another country - a long way away - and I feel very upset. The children grown up now have mixed feelings - one of them cried last night feeling it was the end of an era. Another said it was a good chance to go and visit him in this new country. The other doesn't know yet and is a sensitive person and suffered from depression in the past. I know from my point of view it'll be a good thing in a way - cutting the chord and all - but its hard for the children to see their father leaving. They have kept up a relationship with him mainly as a result of their efforts and it just feels like he's doing his own thing and not considering their feelings. Any words of encouragement please.
fiftyone
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 36
Joined: Sun Mar 30, 2008 10:57 am

Postby Bel Bel » Fri Oct 24, 2008 10:26 am

all you can do is be there for them in whatever way they need.
you can't do anything to stop it or change it.
is he computer literat, you could ask him to get a web cam so the girls can talk to him face to face on the computer
or video phoning if he and you can get those type of phones.
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

Cheap Pandora Charms UK

User avatar
Bel Bel
Fully Fledged Flatmate
Fully Fledged Flatmate
 
Posts: 6758
Joined: Thu May 10, 2007 1:58 pm
Location: Hertfordshire
Gender: Female

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Fri Oct 24, 2008 3:17 pm

If they are all grown up its not like they are too young to understand him moving to another country. Maybe he only stayed so long so he could see them grow up. I semi-agree the opinion "its a great chance to visit him in another country".

I also agree with Bel-Bel, both get computers and web cams and make sure you phone each other to keep in touch.
User avatar
dipsydoodlenoodle
Long Term Lodger
Long Term Lodger
 
Posts: 3928
Joined: Fri Feb 08, 2008 4:24 pm
Location: England
Gender: Female

Postby Liquidius » Mon Oct 27, 2008 12:22 pm

The same thing has happened to me with my Mum and Dad. I'm 21 just to clarify, and I see it that although my Dad cares about me, he has his own life to lead too, and is entitled to do that in whatever country he chooses.

All you can do is to be there for your children when they need it really I think.
User avatar
Liquidius
Permanent Fixture
Permanent Fixture
 
Posts: 1983
Joined: Sun Apr 03, 2005 8:22 pm
Location: Cornwall
Gender: Female

Postby fiftyone » Thu Oct 30, 2008 9:29 pm

That's so mature of you to think like that - I take my hat off to you. When my son found out he actually cried for a minute and said it was the end of an era. I guess its cos their relationship with dad has not been that close since we split up. It sounds as though you and your dad have a good relationship. We on the other hand are very close and will support each other I think.

Thanks for all your ideas.
fiftyone
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 36
Joined: Sun Mar 30, 2008 10:57 am


Return to Cheer me up!

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests