Can't snap out of it

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Can't snap out of it

Postby Fragmented » Tue Jun 23, 2009 2:22 pm

Hi,

As some of you know I was dumped last week after a turbulent and very messed up 10-month relationship. Although I have cut off all contact and none has been made by her and I know it was definitely the best thing for it to end and wild horses couldn't drag me back to it - i STILL feel so low today.

Ever since it happened I've felt largely optimistic. Full of spirit and wanting to make the most of the remainder of the year and getting on with my life. Yet today I've woken up feeling like I've been kicked in the guts or something. I feel like I've just lost so much self-respect and confidence over the last 10 months - bit by bit. I was made to feel unattractive, unwanted, not enough. I had been hurt in previous relationships and I feel like I laid myself bare for my ex. That it took a lot for me to open up and let my guard down and trust and she completely disregarded that and hurt me more than I've been hurt before. All my friends have been fantastic and listened to me rant (..a hell of a lot) and they've all said she obviously had a lot of issues and she will learn in time. I'm not normally a bitter person but I feel like the entire thing has left me bitter inside and I can't seem to let the resentment go. It took me such a long time to get myself to a place where I felt I was in control of my emotions and she just walked in, turned my life upside down, and walked out again. I feel like she knew she had issues and she had no right to mess me up too. But then I feel like I'm beating myself up for knowing she was bad news and not walking away.

I guess the low mood has been set off by the fact I know she's moved on and is now in a rebound relationship/fling/whatever. I feel hurt that I meant that little and I went through all this rubbish for someone who walked away unaffected and is now happily getting on with her life without giving me a second thought. Some of my friends suggested I go on the rebound but this is a big no no for me as I don't feel it is right to mess someone else up while I feel so messed up. After all, that's what my ex did to me and that's the last thing I'd want to inflict on someone else.

I suppose I'm just letting it out. Is there any light at the end of the tunnel? Because today I feel like I'm back to square one.
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Re: Can't snap out of it

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Tue Jun 23, 2009 2:47 pm

You will have up and down days - it's natural. Just focus on the positive things you have. Get you feeling happy and content before you consider another relationship.

Fragmented wrote:Some of my friends suggested I go on the rebound but this is a big no no for me as I don't feel it is right to mess someone else up while I feel so messed up. After all, that's what my ex did to me and that's the last thing I'd want to inflict on someone else.


I think that is good (not the rebound but your attitude to it).
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Re: Can't snap out of it

Postby ennis81 » Tue Jun 23, 2009 3:00 pm

Hi, sorry to hear about whats happened, easy to say your better off out of it, but its hard to get over the hurt that the person has caused you, especially if she has moved on already, but this must show you how shallow she is :x , your obviously a much better person, don't put toO much thought into thinking about her hun, some people just aren't worth the effort and will only drag you down, I've just come out of a relationship myself and you've gotta take it one day at a time, its all a healing process, don't let this bad experience Affect you too much. A friend said this to me last week
"Majority of people out there are good, its just the bad ones you remember :lol: :lol: "
Spend loads of time with those lovely friends of yours, spend your time on what you wanna do and concentrate on making yourself happy.

Take care X
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Re: Can't snap out of it

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Tue Jun 23, 2009 3:47 pm

ennis81 wrote:Majority of people out there are good, its just the bad ones you remember



It's very sad, but it is very true!
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Re: Can't snap out of it

Postby RagDoll » Wed Jun 24, 2009 11:27 am

I would just like to add that you should be easy on yourself - the relationship only ended last week, so although it's rubbish, it's inevitable that you still feel very hurt and bitter at the moment. It's also inevitable that you will eventually feel better :)

I've also been messed around and badly hurt in the past and felt bitter for a long time and was angry with myself for putting up with the other person. I've kinda made peace with it in my mind now though. For a start, I've come to realise that he was the idiot and now I just half chuckle to myself when I think of/see him, because I know I'm a good person, whereas he's always going to be an ar5e! He's just a loser messing up his own life. You've just got to learn from your experiences and move on. We all make mistakes.

I hope you feel better soon.
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Re: Can't snap out of it

Postby Fragmented » Wed Jun 24, 2009 12:32 pm

Thanks guys.

Feeling much better today :) I woke up and the sun was shining and I felt like there was no burden of "what is she gonna say/do today to hurt me" on my shoulders. It's true, there are so many good people and it's so easy to get sidetracked into just thinking about the bad ones. I know there'll still be many days where I wake up and feel hurt, but like it's been said - best to take it one day at a time. I know gradually it will fade. Can't wait for that day, lol.

x
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