Fedup

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Fedup

Postby captainf » Thu Jul 23, 2009 9:41 pm

I'm really fedup lately.

A few weeks ago msn signed me into my mums account by accident and an ex friend of mine said hello. I kindly said that it was me and not my mum and that i'd be signing out and signing in on my account and was polite and said if she wanted to talk to me then she could talk to me on there. Anyway she re-added me and we talked. We had fallen out over a year ago because she couldnt make up her mind whether she liked me or not and ended up with someone else. I thought I could happily put this behind me, and I have. Tonight she was telling me all about her new boyfriend and I was fine with it and happy for her. Then the same old story reoccured, she would stop talking to me randomly and i'd just say if i was bothering her then all she had to do was say. Then she flipped out (like she used to) and I just said I feel as if I was naive to think me and her would be friends again and she told me to F off and called me an inconsiderate jerk and blocked me. I hold no grudges to what happened back in January 2008, but I will not tolerate her talking to me as if im some kind of idiot. I sent her a small email saying that was an unfair comment and that there was no need for it. I dont really think I want to talk to her again because I feel like I am walking on egg shells with her and if I do the slightest thing wrong she will just patronise me.

Another friend of mine already knew I was feeling abit fedup lately (before the problem with the girl mentioned above) and kept asking me what was up. I told her I just didnt want to talk about it and that i'll deal with things in my own way, to which she got annoyed and now is off with me.

I'm just sick and tired of people taking advantage of my generous side. I am a very forgiving person. I hold no grudges, I let the past go and always give people another chance. However I feel foolish for letting people do the exact same thing over again. It makes me feel stupid and naive.

I would just like it if people could be normal for once.

I dont really require advice. I just needed to rant because not much has gone my way lately.
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Re: Fedup

Postby spacegirl » Fri Jul 24, 2009 9:15 am

see email ;)
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Re: Fedup

Postby Bel Bel » Fri Jul 24, 2009 9:40 am

Don't feel bad for being nice, yes it means sometimes some people will try to take advantage of you but it also means other people who come into your life will be equally as nice as you
As for the friend who got upset recently because you wouldn't confind in her it was originally out of concern she asked you what was wrong and i think maybe she has taken offence that you feel she can't be there for you. Perhaps it was the way you said it and although you may not have meant it rudely perahps thats is how she took it. When we are feling sensitive and have a problem sometimes we come accross more abruptly than we mean to
As for the girl on msn I think it is best to try and ignore her, even block her becasue you have given her chances and their was the possibility she would have grown up and changed so you weren't wrong to take that chance but as it turns out she hasn't so it's her lose that she doesn't get you as a friend.
Whatever is bothering you, is it something anyone can help you with. I think sharing a problem with people is often really helpful in making yourself feel a bit better, rather than bottling it up
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Re: Fedup

Postby RagDoll » Fri Jul 24, 2009 10:12 am

Did the girl on MSN flip-out because she perceived you saying "if I'm bothering you then all you have to do is say" as a bit of a dig? I think there are different 'rules' on MSN - people sometimes do stop talking randomly. Maybe she thought you were being a bit intense saying what you did? Just a thought.
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Re: Fedup

Postby Bel Bel » Fri Jul 24, 2009 10:15 am

well usually people put BRB "be right back" if they intned to stop talking to you
I think from her previous behavour she is just a mind game player and a wind up merchant
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Re: Fedup

Postby RagDoll » Fri Jul 24, 2009 10:19 am

Yeh, sometimes, but I've found other people don't always bother saying anything.
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Re: Fedup

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Fri Jul 24, 2009 10:20 am

I agree with bel bels first post.

Also with what you said on MSN although you might have meant it in the nicest possible way the trouble with typing communication is you can't always see if it's meant seriously, light hearted or as a joke. Maybe she took it the wrong way to what you meant but since she's messed with you before I wouldn't bother with her anymore.
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Re: Fedup

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Fri Jul 24, 2009 10:22 am

Also in regards to the BRB messenger thing, BRB is normally used as Bel Bel said and it's also forgotten like Ragdoll said, I know if I use MSN most of my friends never say it and they disapper for ages. The one thing with captain_flynns thing is we don't know how long she was "away" for. If she was gone for 5 minutes I can see her getting irate at the comment, if she was away an hour then it's different.
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Re: Fedup

Postby Bel Bel » Fri Jul 24, 2009 10:35 am

i think it's really rude to be in the middle of a conversation and just stop without letting the other perosn know you have gone
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Re: Fedup

Postby RagDoll » Fri Jul 24, 2009 10:44 am

Yeh, that's the point I was trying to make Dipsy - it depends how long she didn't respond for really!
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Re: Fedup

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Fri Jul 24, 2009 11:54 am

Bel Bel wrote:i think it's really rude to be in the middle of a conversation and just stop without letting the other perosn know you have gone


Oh it is, but then some people are just plain rude.

Edit: I know this is off topic but it highlights the rudeness I have to put up with at work everyday. I was talking to the guy who sits next to me, or rather he was talking to me, then he suddenly broke into airguitar solo (he's got his Ipod on); it's just stupidly rude. He'll keep talking when yawning, he'll just sit himself in the MIDDLE of a conversation and when he was here for less than a week and I was training him, there was some 'breaking' football news so he said 'wait a minute I'll check this first'. He's like this with our boss as well ARGH!
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Re: Fedup

Postby captainf » Fri Jul 24, 2009 2:16 pm

Hm I didnt expect so many replies to this. Thankyou though.
Spacegirl, many thanks for the email. I'll reply later as i'm time limited right now.

Ragdoll, no idea about time. I dont clock watch unless im flying as its more important then. The fact she used to do this on a regular basis as a means to wind me up meant that I wasnt willing to put up with it this time around. Theres no way she could percieve what i've said in the wrong context, we used to hang out alot and she knows how I show common courtesy.

I should of added through part of the convo where I could see things were going slightly downhill I said 'are we really friends?' to which she said 'no yet' Considering that friendship is a 2 way thing I dont think i'm wrong in thinking it isnt me that should be putting in all the effort as I seem to recall this was a familiar thing previously.

Bel Bel, I agree, I think its rude when people dont say that they are busy, but to be honest im not overly bothered. I was just showing common courtesy in saying if shes busy i'll happily talk to her another time. She flipped out and thats what the ultimate problem is. I'm going to leave her to it because of course friendship is a two way thing and if one isnt pulling their weight its inevitable failure from the start.

As for my other friend, no I did mention I was abit fedup but just said I didnt really want to talk about it. Shes a family friend so I thought she'd respect that but she got abit annoyed. She did the same last week when something bothered me too. Sometimes i'll just say if im not feeling great so that people dont expect me to be all happy and talkative, but at the same time it doesnt mean I want to talk about whats bothering me. I generally wouldnt even post on here but yesterday was a succession of things that annoyed me.

I'm feeling better today, so thanks for the useful advice.
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Re: Fedup

Postby RagDoll » Fri Jul 24, 2009 2:24 pm

That's fair enough Flynn, it's just that obviously there's a big difference between her not replying for a few minutes, to not replying for half an hour. It's when a pause becomes a stop I suppose! It's fair enough that you're not willing to put up with it too. I don't like flaky people either and it sounds like that's what she is from what you've said.

Glad you're feeling better anyhow.
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Re: Fedup

Postby captainf » Fri Jul 24, 2009 2:34 pm

She used to stop talking to me for 30mins or so previously but carried on talking to friends of mine that she knew. Then they would mention her and i'd say 'well she hasnt spoken to me for ages' and they'd mention that shes been talking to them for 20mins or so. I think its to wind me up. I think it stems though from the stuff that went on with us previously where she couldnt make up her mind and she ended up with someone else. Like I said im over that but I think part of her still holds something against me and you can only hold a grudge so long but she wont give that up. It's okay though, we all think differently and if shes happy to be this way then thats okay. We aren't all the same, but of course sadly me and her wont work as friends until she can let go of the past. None the less though I hope she has a very happy life and I hope everything works out with her and her new boyfriend. I hold no grudges.
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