abit run down

Go here if you need cheering up, or if you feel the urge to cheer someone else up!
Forum rules
NEW USERS HAVE TO WAIT FOR THEIR FIRST POSTS TO BE APPROVED BY AN ADMINISTRATOR. Rules | Essential Information | FAQ | Support | Twitter

abit run down

Postby captainf » Sun Aug 23, 2009 2:47 am

I dont normally post whats bothering me on here but I dont really have anyone to talk to. Normally if I try talking about whats bothering me people just say 'sorry to hear that' and quickly want to change the subject to their problems or just dont generally seem bothered, which is a shame because I have time for anyone who needs a sympathetic ear.. infact some friends I dont hear from unless something is wrong, anyway..

I'm just abit stressed lately. As some of you know my nan (dads mother) passed away last week and so that was abit of a shock to me. It took a day or two to sink in really and the funeral is this coming wednesday. I am going but with great difficulty. My uncle was supposed to give me a lift to my nans funeral but told me today that he can't because his girlfriend has the week off work (his girlfriend tells him when he can and cant see us) So now i've got to get a coach and a bus instead which is going to be making it a very long day as i've got to come home on the same day as my mother is coming to the funeral with me. This has just stressed me out because im so tired of his girlfriend causing problems like this and to be honest I think this situation is ridiculous - my nan has died so i'd see this as a fair circumstance for my uncle to spend 1 day away from his girlfriend to help me out a little.

I dont seem to be sleeping well lately neither. I've tried going to bed at all times - early, very late, none of it makes a difference, I take ages to doze off. I've been abit ill the past few days, I keep having a headache and the occasional stomache, for a few days i've also felt quite dizzy and im not sure whats really causing this. Ironically my dog hasnt been well for the past few days - hes had a dodgy stomach but has managed to eat anything (well some cat biscuit and wanted some cheese mum had) except his dog food which he just picked at all day, he seems abit better tonight but as he has prostate problems I always find myself worrying when he gets ill wondering if he will pass away as hes 14 (our cat passed away in april, coupled with my nan passing away means we've already had 2 deaths to deal with this year) I think this has also stressed me out but i'm sure its just an upset stomach he has at the mo so im sure he'll be ok in a day or two.

I'm abit worried about my nans funeral too. I don't really like funerals because they're a 'goodbye' to someone whos passed away and when I go to them I normally sit near the back just so that i'm not near the main people affected by the death but this is my nan so i'd be expected to sit near the front and i'm dreading that. :(

I just wish I could sleep without waking up every hour or so. Last night was awful, I woke up about 8 times. :(

Sorry for going on. Normally I can hold myself together comfortably but i'm really quite fedup and it hasnt been the best of years.
Remember how the runway lights looked one night long ago when you were lost and found your way, and how-you still dont know?
User avatar
captainf
Long Term Lodger
Long Term Lodger
 
Posts: 4763
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 6:28 pm
Location: Milton Keynes
Gender: Male

Re: abit run down

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Mon Aug 24, 2009 9:22 am

Well understandably you are going through a bit of a downer. My bf often gets a bad stomach from worrying about something; maybe you have gotten it becasue of worrying and being upset. If it continues go to the chemists and ask if they have anything.

I think your uncles gf is being a bit selfish, especially as it's a funeral. It's not like he'd be away days, it's one day for a family funeral. He should say something to her about it GRR.; silly woman.

Sorry to be turning it around on me, (I don't mean to, I just feel I explain better by example). I also haven't been sleeping well lately, for me it's because it's been warmer and it's bright, I have blackout curtains; but even the light comes in and wakes me up. It may be similar for you since it has been a lot hotter lately. Also you have things on your mind, write them down before you go to bed; if you wake up, write them down - if you lie there just thinking about it, it will play on your mind all night. Write it down, and think I'll sort it in the morning. That way you don't 'need' to remember and can try and concentrate on sleeping properly.
A hug is a great gift, one size fits all.
User avatar
dipsydoodlenoodle
Long Term Lodger
Long Term Lodger
 
Posts: 3928
Joined: Fri Feb 08, 2008 4:24 pm
Location: England
Gender: Female

Re: abit run down

Postby Bel Bel » Mon Aug 24, 2009 9:45 am

I think stress definately affects sleep and it is totally understandable that your feeling so down at the moment

Your uncles g/f is very selfish but unfortunately your uncel should be putting his foot down and standing up for himself.

Although you have to be at the front can you sit right to the far edge so at least you not in the spotlight so to speak.

I feel for you and I am having a tough time too so the only comfort I can offer is your not the only one. I know that won't help you situation but you don't need to feel alone.

It's a shame but listeners always seem to be the ones friends dismiss when they have a problem. I think they assume we cope better and have all the answers so they don't need to be so attentive but it's always different to give advice than it is to take your own.

When you wake do you go straight back to sleep or lay there for ages, would reading a book help you drift back off without being able to think too much.
It could be part of your stomach upset that is keeping you awake too but I think most likely stress. If it carries on you really need to go to the doctor
The fact you and your dog are both ill could you both have eaten something dodgy. I know some people let their dogs eat left overs etc

I know it's a cliche but time will help and once wednesday is over you may feel a bit better. The thought of that awful journey certainly won't be helping your stress levels.

:grouphug:
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

Cheap Pandora Charms UK

User avatar
Bel Bel
Fully Fledged Flatmate
Fully Fledged Flatmate
 
Posts: 6758
Joined: Thu May 10, 2007 1:58 pm
Location: Hertfordshire
Gender: Female

Re: abit run down

Postby everloney » Tue Aug 25, 2009 12:28 am

Oh CF, I knew you were sad but i didn't realise you were this down. I'm sorry for going on about my issues now....

Can't believe your uncles GF, but sadly these people are out there. Your uncle is scared to annoy her, clearly, and the reason for this only he knows. I guess she has threatened to leave him etc and he's so scared to lose her that he backs down. This could be because he loves her and prob because hes scared of live alone. My uncle aliened himself from my family due to a similar women (your uncles GF is prob not as bad). This said women ripped up my mums xmas card she sent to them and sent it back to her.... nice

The best advise i offer on this is to just go on the bus, be grumpy about it by all means, just be thankful shes your uncles GF not yours! :)

As for the dog, :( I understand your worry, when my dog passed broke my heart.... enjoy the time you have now together.

Sleeping and tummy, i think its stress, and then you worry about not sleeping and your tummy and it gets worse, its a vicious circle. Best thing to do, don't put pressure on yourself to fall asleep and if after an hour your still awake, listen to music. That helps send me off sometimes.

xxx
everloney
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
 
Posts: 259
Joined: Wed Aug 06, 2008 4:52 pm

Re: abit run down

Postby captainf » Tue Aug 25, 2009 3:11 am

No, everloney, its okay I am happy to help.

The trouble is my uncle and his gf are in a loveless relationship now whereby they have a daughter and his girlfriend controls him. He has to play by her rules and thats that. Hes been with her for about 20yrs now and lives with her in her parents house. Since being with her he has no real confidence and just does what she says. They often make trips to daventry (which is about 30 miles north of us here in MK) to see her brother but its so problematic to visit us. I could create a whole new post on this but theres no point, this wont change - since being with her hes just under her control, developed a heart condition, depression and diabeties. He was once physically fit and looked after himself very well. I'm tired that everything has to be done at her convenience and the fact he cant even give me a lift to the funeral because of her just takes the biscuit. I've looked at wednesdays forcast and we get a tail end of a hurricane then which is bringing rain and strong winds. Excellent.

Regarding the funeral I just have to follow my dads rules and do what he wants. When I explained to him on the phone yesterday that i'd be getting the coach instead of a lift from my uncle my dad just told me not to bother coming, only to phone me about an hour later telling me to make sure im at his by 11am. He asked if i'd be staying for a few days and I said i'd check with my lot to make sure im not needed at home for anything. After checking I phoned him back to say that i'll happily stay for a few days as I had wanted to anyway only for him to tell me hes going away instead. :-?

Normally when I wake up I just close my eyes and try to go back to sleep. I try different methods, making my room completely dark so no light is shining in, i've tried making up my own stories in my head which used to help me doze off quickly but I think right now im too stressed to sleep. The lack of sleep is probably making me ill and also the stress is what gives me a stomach ache and headache. I'm not looking forward to wednesday. I might try reading or music if I have trouble tonight, but I cant sleep at the mo and its 3am and i've got to be up early as a family friend is coming round.

As for my dog, he seems to be getting better. He hasnt eaten the same thing as me. I tried him on some different dog food yesterday and he ate it all and really seemed to like it.

I agree about people who dont seem all that bothered - I suppose the fact I always seem the wise one I guess they percieve me as someone who just copes with everything.
Remember how the runway lights looked one night long ago when you were lost and found your way, and how-you still dont know?
User avatar
captainf
Long Term Lodger
Long Term Lodger
 
Posts: 4763
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 6:28 pm
Location: Milton Keynes
Gender: Male

Re: abit run down

Postby kerrie24 » Tue Aug 25, 2009 8:34 am

Cf,I dont really have anything to add except that sometimes life throws stuff our way that we dont want,and you seem to have really gotten more than your fair share at the moment which is rubbish but you will feel better and be happy again.It wont be like this forever.Try and focus on some good things in your life,your friends,career,family for example.
We will all be thinking of you on wednesday.
User avatar
kerrie24
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
 
Posts: 351
Joined: Fri Jan 16, 2009 8:01 pm
Gender: Female

Re: abit run down

Postby ennis81 » Tue Aug 25, 2009 10:42 am

Hey Captain,
I haven't been on this for a few days, I'm really sorry to hear of your loss, I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better :( Its an awful time for you and I hope your feelin better soon hun Xxxxx
ennis81
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
 
Posts: 150
Joined: Fri Aug 15, 2008 9:51 am

Re: abit run down

Postby captainf » Tue Aug 25, 2009 11:57 pm

Many thanks for the very kind words of support everyone. I truely appreciate it and i'm most grateful.
On the upside i've applied for a job in the city centre - just a shop but hopefully i'll atleast get an interview. I could do with the money and we had some family friends (Julie and her daughter) visit today who expressed an interest in flying with me so i'd atleast like to take them soon!
Also my dog seems better now which is great.
I'm off to bed in a mo but I dont hold much hope for sleep tonight.
I'm still incredibly nervous about the whole thing. Im not looking forward to going in one of the black cars and its also a burial and im abit worried about that too! I've not been to a burial before. Just thinking about the day ahead makes my stomach churn and my head hurt. :(
Remember how the runway lights looked one night long ago when you were lost and found your way, and how-you still dont know?
User avatar
captainf
Long Term Lodger
Long Term Lodger
 
Posts: 4763
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 6:28 pm
Location: Milton Keynes
Gender: Male

Re: abit run down

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Wed Aug 26, 2009 8:49 am

Even if you don't get the job then at least it's experience at interviews. Let us know if you do get an interview :)

Just a thought do you use the computer right before bed? I used to and found I could never sleep, so I used to make a point in coming off the computer at least an hour before going to bed and I slept soooooo much better.

As I said in 'rememberance' I hope the funeral goes as well as can be expected today - I also hope you have FAR better weather for it than we currently have; it's almost horizontal rain here.
A hug is a great gift, one size fits all.
User avatar
dipsydoodlenoodle
Long Term Lodger
Long Term Lodger
 
Posts: 3928
Joined: Fri Feb 08, 2008 4:24 pm
Location: England
Gender: Female

Re: abit run down

Postby captainf » Thu Aug 27, 2009 12:06 am

Thankyou. I'll let you know if I hear anything. :)

Sometimes im on the PC before bed but not always. I think that its mainly stress and that was proven today. When I was on the bus from heathrow to southall my stomach started to hurt really badly for a few minutes. I was thinking about the funeral at the time but the moment I started to think about other things it subsided. So I think the sleeping is stress related too.

Thankyou. When I got up this morning the rain was lashing down but just as I left to catch my coach it stopped. Upon arrival at Heathrow it was cloudy and when I got to my nan and grandads house we was all waiting outside and just before the coffin turned up the sun came out (which wasnt forcast) The coffin was taken by horses and carriage to the church and then on to where nan was buried. The church service was lovely, as we walked in they had 'you'll never walk alone' playing (as a liverpool fan myself it meant even more) When the coffin was descending into the grave it was drizzly weather but that cleared up when we all went to the pub. I checked on my sister alot because I wanted to be there for her and she was okay. It only really poured down after we had got on the coach to come home. I finally got home at 9:30pm.

Dad was pleased with how the funeral went and it all went to plan. My dad is going away for a few days now but when he comes back im gonna visit him.
Remember how the runway lights looked one night long ago when you were lost and found your way, and how-you still dont know?
User avatar
captainf
Long Term Lodger
Long Term Lodger
 
Posts: 4763
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 6:28 pm
Location: Milton Keynes
Gender: Male

Re: abit run down

Postby Bel Bel » Thu Aug 27, 2009 10:05 am

It's great that the day went better than you expected. It was nice the sun came out too.

That song always makes my hairs stand on end. The Liverpool fans always sing it with real passion. After all these years it's nice to see it's still so important to the fans.

Will your sister be going away with your dad? She won't be on her own will she?
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

Cheap Pandora Charms UK

User avatar
Bel Bel
Fully Fledged Flatmate
Fully Fledged Flatmate
 
Posts: 6758
Joined: Thu May 10, 2007 1:58 pm
Location: Hertfordshire
Gender: Female

Re: abit run down

Postby captainf » Thu Aug 27, 2009 4:03 pm

Yeah, im so pleased that things went exactly to plan. We even had a police escort too so traffic wasnt an issue. I have no idea how my dad organised that one but i'll have to ask him about it when we get to talk properly because he was so busy yesterday. :) I think I mentioned in PM about the grave stone I saw with the two photos of a chipmunk and tomahawk aircraft on leading me to believe the guy was a pilot - I had to smile over that, only I could go to a cemetery and find something aviation related. :lol:

Yeah 'you'll never walk alone' always makes me feel so emotional when I hear it! The Liverpool fans always sing it at the start and end of every game - When im at home watching the matches in my living room I always sing along.

My sister lives with her mother and wont be going away with dad. Dad just wants some time to himself.
Remember how the runway lights looked one night long ago when you were lost and found your way, and how-you still dont know?
User avatar
captainf
Long Term Lodger
Long Term Lodger
 
Posts: 4763
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 6:28 pm
Location: Milton Keynes
Gender: Male

Re: abit run down

Postby Bel Bel » Thu Aug 27, 2009 4:16 pm

Oh yes I totally understand you Dad wanting time alone. I was just thinking it wouldn't be nice for your sister being on her own but she won't be so thats good.
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

Cheap Pandora Charms UK

User avatar
Bel Bel
Fully Fledged Flatmate
Fully Fledged Flatmate
 
Posts: 6758
Joined: Thu May 10, 2007 1:58 pm
Location: Hertfordshire
Gender: Female

Re: abit run down

Postby captainf » Thu Aug 27, 2009 9:46 pm

Yeah dad just needs abit of time on his own, then he will be okay.
My sister lives with her mother, her mothers partner, 2 half sisters and a half brother.
Despite living with all them siblings she comes to me for advice. :D
She got her GCSE results today, she passed them all!
Remember how the runway lights looked one night long ago when you were lost and found your way, and how-you still dont know?
User avatar
captainf
Long Term Lodger
Long Term Lodger
 
Posts: 4763
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 6:28 pm
Location: Milton Keynes
Gender: Male

Re: abit run down

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Fri Aug 28, 2009 9:11 am

captainf wrote:She got her GCSE results today, she passed them all!


Aww brilliant. Send her a card or maybe take her out for dinner or something as a treat.
A hug is a great gift, one size fits all.
User avatar
dipsydoodlenoodle
Long Term Lodger
Long Term Lodger
 
Posts: 3928
Joined: Fri Feb 08, 2008 4:24 pm
Location: England
Gender: Female

Next

Return to Cheer me up!

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Majestic-12 [Bot] and 1 guest

cron