Bad week!

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Bad week!

Postby rufio89 » Tue May 08, 2012 5:19 pm

I just need a moan I think! I'm feeling very sorry for myself today.

Firstly, I was off sick last week with gastroenteritis, I went to the doctor on Monday and he signed me off for the week so I couldnt go in even if I wanted to. I've come in this morning and been told that I'm out of sick pay (as I've already had tonsillitus twice this year and missed 8 days of work from that) and I had nearly 500 emails to deal with. This makes me want to cry a little bit on its own, I'm really skint at the moment and desperatly trying to pay off my credit card and two hen dos and a wedding coming up in the next month, everything is so expensive and I couldnt afford it before I lost a weeks pay :'(

Secondly, I crashed my car on Friday. I dont think it was my fault and my passenger said it definitely wasnt, but in all honesty, I cant remember what happened properly, the whole thing is such a blur in my head that I couldnt say for certain that I couldnt have done something differently. The police came and they said they thought it was her fault and she was likely to get done for dangerous driving, but it means I've spent my whole bank holiday weekend sitting around making phonecalls to the insurance company/solicitors etc and not being able to do anything. I've had a call from the insurance company today saying the woman in the other car is saying it was my fault. The guy at my insurance company said that because there are no impartial witnessess, the claim is likely to get split 50/50, which means I lose my no claims bonus (and it's my first year of driving - when my friend lost his no claims in his first year, his premium tripled). I'm really worried and my car is written off which means I have to get a new one, but I got mine so cheaply that Im worried I wont be able to find something to replace it in time.

I just feel like crying, I've had this banging headache all weekend because Im stressed out and I just want to curl up in a ball and let someone else deal with it.
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Re: Bad week!

Postby Baffled » Tue May 08, 2012 9:58 pm

Bummer, Rufio, thats a pretty sucky week. Wish I had a halfway decent joke or a bucket of icecream to cheer you up but I dont :( It sounds like you are genuinely really stressed out, which isnt going to help if youve been ill as stress messes with your immunity and is the likely cause of your headache into the bargain.

It sounds like money is the main thing thats upsetting you. I wont do the whole 'try getting an extra job' schpiel because thats not a fix all and if you are already stressed out, its not necessarily going to make things better. Have you tried writing down your finances? Stick all your expected income in one column and expenditures in another. I know youve got craploads of unexpected extra expenses but writing everything down lets you look at it all rationally. It wont necessarily make you feel better but it should help you feel more in control.

In terms of weddings and hen parties, are any of them your own? If not, then dont feel bad about setting yourself a budget. Dont feel pressured into shows of generosity either. I know its nice to be able to offer to buy a round or get a really nice present for a friend but when it comes to weddings and hen parties, the bride and groom tend to be overwhelmed with stuff. It will be the gestures that matter (ie showing up) more than fancy gifts.

You cant control whats happened with your car-again, maybe try writing everything down/talking to an understanding mate to get it out of your head and stop it repeating on you, because otherwise the caged, trapped feeling will make your head explode. If you cant do nothing, maybe check out your local Citizens Advice Bureau for advice-Im not sure if they cover getting claims out of slippery insurance companies but its worth a try and it will give you something constructive to do. Dont take your insurance company at their word straight off though-check your fine print ect before giving up on your claim.

Other than that...look after yourself. Make sure you are eating healthily, getting some sort of excercise, interacting with other humans ect. Sorry, wish I had better advice :( Hope you feel better soon:(
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Re: Bad week!

Postby rufio89 » Wed May 09, 2012 3:36 pm

Thanks for your reply Baffled.

Yeah it all ties back to money! If only I could win the lottery it would solve a lot of my problems!

I have been looking at ways to make extra money. I dont have time to get another job with my other commitments, plus I just dont think I could deal with it at the moment - even being at my day job is a bit much right now.

I have a spreadsheet where I have my budget and keep track of all my spending. The problem is that I dont know what the costs are going to be so I cant budget for them at the moment.

None of them are my own. I've actually written a post about it before, the girl whos it is is taking the pee a little bit so Im not too concerned about not spending money on them - theres one this weekend which Im not too fussed about - its just a night out, I can do that on the cheap if I need to, but the other one we're going to Brighton for 4 days and our accomodation is already paid for so I cant drop out. Theyre talking about going out for dinner and stuff while we're there so it's going to be pricey even if I do it on the cheap! Im not going to get her a wedding present - they havent registered so theyre not getting anything. I would have liked to have got something nice and new to wear on the day but I guess I'll just have to find something I already own/borrow something.

I'm doing all I can with the insurance company but today Im even more stressed out by it! Theyve not had anything back from the other insurer since yesterday so I dont know what the current status of that is, but I spoke to them this morning and they said they were sending out a cheque for my car since it has been declared written off. Now Im in my first year of driving, I deliberatly bought a cheap car so it didnt matter if I scraped it etc. My excess is £400, so the cheque I'm getting is £650 minus my excess = £250. Because theyve sent this cheque out, they're going to collect my courtesy car TOMORROW, so I have fewer than 24 hours and £250 to get a new car sorted or I cant get to work. I dont know anyone from my work and noone lives nearby, and you cant get public transport there. If I win the claim, I get my excess back, so I'll have a bit more money, but I hadnt really planned to buy another car quite so rubbish.

My Dad's been really good and he's said he'll lend me the money to get a new car which is really kind of him and I'll HAVE to take him up on it, but it just means I'm going to be stuck in debt for even longer. I hate owing people money, I cant just 'let it go', it's constantly hanging over my head, so with my credit card and now this, Im going to be stuck in debt for a MINIMUM of another 6 months :(
Also, while I really do appreciate his help and I'm very lucky to have that support, it doesnt solve my immediate problem of not having a car - I cant just go and buy a car tonight :(
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Re: Bad week!

Postby ILoveChristmas » Thu May 10, 2012 9:10 am

Hey Rufio,

The whole thing sucks :(

Maybe you have some of the issues under control by now, but one thing I'll say is take care over which car you buy, regardless of its age or condition. It's almost certain that your insurance will be impacted by having had your accident, so it's important that you choose a car that's going to be cheap to insure, e.g. small engine, basic model.

Also, is it worth following up with the Police about their suggestion that the other driver may well be charged? If that goes ahead surely it will impact the outcome of your insurance claim?
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Re: Bad week!

Postby rufio89 » Mon May 21, 2012 5:35 pm

I know it's stupid to get so worked up about something like this, but I'm sat at my desk on the verge of tears again.

Over the weekend, my passenger got called in by the police to give a statement on the accident. Because this woman is being such a pain about accepting the charges, it's likely to go to court, which will mean I'll need to stand up in court, which I REALLY do not want to do.

Today I got a £183 phonebill because of all the calls I've been making to the insurance company

My courtesy car got collected today which means I have no car. My Dad had originally said he'd put me on his insurance and lend me his car, but when he called them to do it today, it's £100.00 per DAY to insure me, so he's said 'sorry, but no'.

This means I'm going to have to leave at 7.15 to get to work for 9, plus spend £8.50 a day on bus tickets, and I'm not going to get home from work until about 8.15 pm. It also means I cant physically get to the mandarin class I've been taking this week, because there just isnt any public transport there.

I cant believe how much stress this is causing me, I've got a constant headache and I feel like Im on the verge of tears ALL THE TIME.
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Re: Bad week!

Postby Bel Bel » Thu May 24, 2012 3:11 pm

Keep all your bus ticket receipts you should be able to claim these back off her insurance company as travel expenses.
The police are obviously on your side so if it goes to court then it sounds like she will lose anyway. She may also pull out at the last minute as she will realise it's not going her way. If the police charge her then you will definately win.
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Re: Bad week!

Postby rufio89 » Wed Jun 06, 2012 12:08 pm

Im just getting more and more stressed out, I'm really just at my wits end.

Ive sent my phonebill and my bus tickets off to the insurance company, they said they should be able to get the bus tickets back and around £50 of the phonebill.

The claim is still dragging on, she still hasnt accepted liability but the solicitors are sounding more confident so Im feeling a bit better that I should get my money back from that - my main concern with the claim at the moment is that it wont get sorted before my insurance is due for renewal which will push my insurance WAY up and I have no way of paying it.

But now - I was off sick last month because I had gastroendoritus - I got SIGNED off by my doctor, but then I've been told that I'm out of sick pay for the year (before that week I'd had 6 days off sick), so now if I get ill again before January I wont get paid for it. Because of that, my paycheque was a little over £300 down, my phonebill came out and so when I've gone on to my internet banking today, I've realised I dont even have enough money to pay my rent. I've just borrowed £150 from my brother just to cover this, but I cant even begin to think where I'll find the money for food and petrol - I'm actually genuinely scared. My Dad has just lent me £1000 to buy a new car, so I cant ask him for more money and noone else HAS any.

The car I brought broke down 2 days after I got it and I brought it from a private seller who said 'sold as seen', so it's costing me around another £150 to repair that, and it means I dont have a car again so Im back to spending a fortune on public transport (plus all the extra time) and my work are now angry with me because having a car is actually in my contract.

It's my friends hen do this weekend, there's about 7 of us going to Brighton and we've paid about £150 each to book this apartment, but I just CANT pay for it. I'm terrified of telling her that I cant go, I dont even care about losing out on the money I've already paid, but if Im worrying about how Im going to pay for FOOD, I cant justify spending what will be way over £100 on this weekend. The thing is, I went to Prague last weekend with a friend and Im worried she's going to be really angry with me for going to Prague but not being able to afford her hen do. The thing is Prague was so cheap and my friend and I just really needed to get away.

I'm getting so stressed out about this that I've actually been sick this morning, I know it's just because Im so worked up but I dont know how to calm down. I feel utterly out of my depth and I just dont know what to do.
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Bad week!

Postby Skarlet » Wed Jun 06, 2012 6:16 pm

rufio89 wrote:Im just getting more and more stressed out, I'm really just at my wits end.

Ive sent my phonebill and my bus tickets off to the insurance company, they said they should be able to get the bus tickets back and around £50 of the phonebill.

The claim is still dragging on, she still hasnt accepted liability but the solicitors are sounding more confident so Im feeling a bit better that I should get my money back from that - my main concern with the claim at the moment is that it wont get sorted before my insurance is due for renewal which will push my insurance WAY up and I have no way of paying it.

But now - I was off sick last month because I had gastroendoritus - I got SIGNED off by my doctor, but then I've been told that I'm out of sick pay for the year (before that week I'd had 6 days off sick), so now if I get ill again before January I wont get paid for it. Because of that, my paycheque was a little over £300 down, my phonebill came out and so when I've gone on to my internet banking today, I've realised I dont even have enough money to pay my rent. I've just borrowed £150 from my brother just to cover this, but I cant even begin to think where I'll find the money for food and petrol - I'm actually genuinely scared. My Dad has just lent me £1000 to buy a new car, so I cant ask him for more money and noone else HAS any.

The car I brought broke down 2 days after I got it and I brought it from a private seller who said 'sold as seen', so it's costing me around another £150 to repair that, and it means I dont have a car again so Im back to spending a fortune on public transport (plus all the extra time) and my work are now angry with me because having a car is actually in my contract.

It's my friends hen do this weekend, there's about 7 of us going to Brighton and we've paid about £150 each to book this apartment, but I just CANT pay for it. I'm terrified of telling her that I cant go, I dont even care about losing out on the money I've already paid, but if Im worrying about how Im going to pay for FOOD, I cant justify spending what will be way over £100 on this weekend. The thing is, I went to Prague last weekend with a friend and Im worried she's going to be really angry with me for going to Prague but not being able to afford her hen do. The thing is Prague was so cheap and my friend and I just really needed to get away.

I'm getting so stressed out about this that I've actually been sick this morning, I know it's just because Im so worked up but I dont know how to calm down. I feel utterly out of my depth and I just dont know what to do.


Rufio, I really feel for you. Stress over money is one of the toughest things to deal with.

I think you just need to tell your friend you can't go. It will take the edge of your panic and if you just explain that with the additional car costs and the fact you are down on money from being sick then she'll will understand. If you go you won't enjoy it anyway.
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Re: Bad week!

Postby snail » Wed Jun 06, 2012 6:54 pm

Have you got anything you don't need that you could pawn or sell? (Not on ebay as that's not quick enough - maybe in a Cash Converters. You obviously don't get the true value though). Failing that I think you're going to have to talk to your parents; surely they could help just a little more? If you can't afford the car and petrol that then puts your job in jeopardy, so it's got to be done. I agree about it not being a good idea to go to Brighton though - apart from anything it wouldn't help your case with your parents.
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Re: Bad week!

Postby rufio89 » Fri Jun 08, 2012 10:48 am

Im feeling a lot better today.

I told my friend I cant go to the hen do. She didnt take it well at first, she was upset and trying to emotionally blackmail me a bit, but she did eventually calm down and say she wouldnt want to cause me more stress and it's not the end of the world, she'll just miss me, so that's all sorted now.

I had Friday and Monday booked off for this hen do, which I've decided to keep as holiday. Last night I went through my wardrobe and took out everything that either I dont wear anymore or that doesnt fit me anymore (which is a lot with the weight ive lost recently), and I'm going to put everything on ebay.

I've also got 400+ DVDs that I'm going through and going to sell as many of them as I can face selling. That one is harder for me though, it was always my 'thing' being the film person and having loads of DVDs, I've worked hard to build that collection up, but at the end of the day, I dont watch them anymore and they take up an awful lot of space.

I'm going to go through everything I own pretty much and sell everything I can face selling.

I worked out that with my credit card and car etc, I owe around £3k, which isnt the end of the world. I think I can get that paid off this year if I'm careful, so the more I can sell, the quicker it will be to pay it off. Things are going to be tight for a while, but I'll manage. I'm feeling a lot clearer now and more level headed.

I hate the thought of selling my stuff, but at the end of the day, it is just STUFF, I dont need it, it's just taking up space, I probably wont miss it when it's gone.
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Re: Bad week!

Postby Bel Bel » Tue Jun 12, 2012 10:04 am

All good ideas Rufio

You could always try for a bar job part time too. It's quite a socail job so it's not as bad as doing something hidden away in an office. You get to meet loads of people and are earning at the same time. Also means ytou aren't going out spending yourself.

Either way it sounds like you are dealing with the issue rather than sticking your head in the sand, that's got to be a good thing
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