Feeling down after worst night out ever last night!

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Feeling down after worst night out ever last night!

Postby Kelly123 » Sat Jun 10, 2006 10:12 am

I'm feeling so down and depressed after going out with my friends last night. I really made an effort to look nice, nice clothes, makeup, etc and I really did think I looked nice. Anyway, it was me and two friends who went out, me and another friend single and another with a longterm bf. I know this sounds shallow or vain and I don't mean it to but I didn't get chatted up once, or anyone even talk to me but my friend with the bf did about 4 times and eventually went off with one of the guys who she knew and liked, possibly cheating on her bf I don't know because I left then because by then my other friend had gone and I was left on my own since she was ignoring me for this guy.
I've never had a bf or anything so this has dented my confidence no end. If I can't get guys interested when I look nice then what hope have I got? I felt like crying when I came home last night because I must be so fat and ugly that men don't like me.
I'm nearly 30 and really think I'm going to end up single forever and that kind of worries me that I'm never going to get to experience being in love or anything.
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Postby PurePurple » Sat Jun 10, 2006 10:20 am

Aww hun, I'm sure you won't be single forever. Your still young, Just give it time :)

:grouphug:


xxxx
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Postby Moose » Sat Jun 10, 2006 10:46 am

Hi Kelly,
Just because you weren't chatted up by any tanked-up men last night, it doesn't mean you're not attractive, and it doesn't mean you're never going to meet someone. I totally understand how annoying and upsetting it is when you go out with friends and they get chatted up and you don't: I used to go out clubbing with my best friends almost every week when I was at college, and week after week blokes would come over and talk to me, but only so they could get in with my best friend who was really attractive. It does your head in. I don't go out clubbing as much any more, but I honestly can't remember the last time I got chatted up by a bloke in a pub or club. I hope that doesn't make me a complete dog. Do you think it does?

What happened to the guy you were sort of seeing before? You attracted him, and he wanted to see you several times, so you can't be completely hideous!

Personally, if I were you, I'd be more annoyed with my friends for leaving me on my own all night. That would really wind me up, especially if they knew how down you were feeling anyway. Did they? Have any of them texted you to find out if you got home okay?

I won't pretend to be the PP World Expert on attracting blokes, because I'm just not, but all I would say is, when you go out, try to go out to have a good time with friends rather than to attract blokes. Maybe, if your friends are more self-confident, that's what attracted those blokes. One more thing as well - what were the blokes like? Were they nice, or were they not-so-nice? Because surely you wouldn't want to attract just anyone.
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Postby brfc » Sat Jun 10, 2006 12:39 pm

i go out clubbing but mainly cause i lurve dance music. i personally couldnt give a two penny worth about weather anyone chats me up in there or not. i just go out too have some fun and the occasional flirt with a girl but if they dont like me i think well your loss hehe. i dont get down about it.

i bet you look great kelly and anyone who says different send em too me lol. just be yourself sweetheart and eventually someone with love u for being u. take care gareth brfc xx
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Postby kitten » Sat Jun 10, 2006 3:08 pm

I never got chatted up when I was single, however once I was in a relationship I always did. They say this is because in a relationship you feel secure and that shows as confidence.

The key is to try a portray this confidence when you are single, but don't ask me how, I don't have much experience I was set up with my husband when I was 17!
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Postby Liquidius » Sun Jun 11, 2006 7:40 pm

Just because you're in a pub, and are wearing make up and nice clothes, it doesn't necessarily mean that this is the best situation in which to be chatted up. Some men don't like women wearing make - up, and a lot of people are just out for a good time, not to be chatted up at all.

I bet you looked gorgeous! Just because no one came over, that doesn't mean you weren't! Probably just a little unlucky :) Don't worry, you won't be single forever.
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Postby Seaside Belle » Mon Jun 12, 2006 11:57 am

Snap! Often feel exactly the same! Without wanting to sound like an awful, bitchy, self-loving cow I used to often wonder why I never got chatted up when others *less attractive* (ooo miow, I feel really bad writing this) did.

I used to whine on about this until a male friend sat me down and said..
a) I hang out with gay men a lot, thus looking like I'm in a relationship and unapproachable
b) I dress and dance very well, if a little eccentric! Which he said was quite intimidating for a bloke. Magnified if with some of my friends.
c) My demenour (quite rightly for me, lol) suggests that I would tell anybody who wanted me for a one night stand to get lost - in no uncertain terms!

Boringly, the key to meeting someone is self-confidence and belief, being open to new experiences and a lot of luck! Looks can effect attraction but they can never replace humour, kindness and chemistry!
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Postby Laurajane » Mon Jun 12, 2006 4:45 pm

well said!!!
*What do sheep count when they can't sleep?!*
*Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.*
*I've discovered that I often visit the state of confusion, and I know my way around pretty well.*
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Postby Maryflan » Thu Jun 15, 2006 10:53 am

Hi

I used to feel like that when i was younger that my friends got all the guys. But now as i have gotton older i have started getting more attention. I really think it is to do with confidence.

When your friend with a boyfriend is talking to someone, you should try to get involved in the conversation, or just flirt a little. They might have a friend or even not its fun for you.

The best way i think to get noticed is to be easy to talk to so you could always start talking to a guy yourself. Although that is scary if it goes wrong you wont have to see him again.

And finally men in pubs who come over to talk arnt always that great. How many times do you think they have done it before? They are often only after getting you into bed. Its the quieter ones who are nt judging you on your looks that are nicer :)
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