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Re: The worst jokes on the planet

PostPosted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 2:59 pm
by dipsydoodlenoodle
Arsenic_Candy wrote:Have you heard about the magical tractor?


It went down the road and turned into a field!



That is so bad that it is kinda funny.

Re: The worst jokes on the planet

PostPosted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 4:02 pm
by RagDoll
lol oh dear, oh dear!

Re: The worst jokes on the planet

PostPosted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 6:38 pm
by snail
Except that buffalo and bison aren't the same animal of course . . .

Yeah, I know. I'll get me coat >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Re: The worst jokes on the planet

PostPosted: Tue Apr 28, 2009 8:43 am
by dipsydoodlenoodle
Arsenic_Candy wrote:Where does a king keep his Armies? Up his Sleevies!!


I've got another one like this...

Where are the Andies? (i.e. Andies mountains)....at the end of your sleevies!

Re: The worst jokes on the planet

PostPosted: Tue Apr 28, 2009 8:52 am
by rufio89
Who is the Polar Bears favourite relative?
Antarctica (aunt... artica, lol)

Re: The worst jokes on the planet

PostPosted: Tue Apr 28, 2009 9:14 am
by dipsydoodlenoodle
rufio89 wrote:Who is the Polar Bears favourite relative?
Antarctica (aunt... artica, lol)


*groans* lol

Re: The worst jokes on the planet

PostPosted: Tue Apr 28, 2009 1:59 pm
by crumpetsandtea
Q) What did the elephant say to the naked man?

A) Blimey, how do you manage to breath out of THAT?

Bad I know. Haha!

Re: The worst jokes on the planet

PostPosted: Tue Apr 28, 2009 2:32 pm
by earthchild
crumpetsandtea wrote:Q) What did the elephant say to the naked man?

A) Blimey, how do you manage to breath out of THAT?


thats actually quite funny! :D
maybe im sad..

Re: The worst jokes on the planet

PostPosted: Thu Apr 30, 2009 6:22 am
by Jess1234
crumpetsandtea wrote:Q) What did the elephant say to the naked man?

A) Blimey, how do you manage to breath out of THAT?


This one made me laugh!! :D

Re: The worst jokes on the planet

PostPosted: Thu Apr 30, 2009 8:27 am
by dipsydoodlenoodle
I had to phone the NHS helpline for advice on swine flu....I couldn't get through....there was only crackling on the line.

I was reading the symptoms of swine flu...one of the symptoms is you get a terrible rasher on your arm.




Courtesy of my dad the joke-meister! :-?

Re: The worst jokes on the planet

PostPosted: Thu Apr 30, 2009 8:41 am
by rufio89
haha :)

Re: The worst jokes on the planet

PostPosted: Thu Apr 30, 2009 10:01 am
by earthchild
how do you annoy Lady GaGa?

Poke-her-face

:roll:

Re:

PostPosted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 7:22 pm
by sazzled
brfc wrote:a bloke i know was made reduntant the other day. he used to be a bank robber :D


Love it!! :D

Re: The worst jokes on the planet

PostPosted: Fri Jul 10, 2009 8:14 am
by sazzled
I see the price of Oxo cubes and Bovril has shot up again. The Stock Market's going crazy!

=D>

Re: The worst jokes on the planet

PostPosted: Mon Sep 07, 2009 10:04 am
by sazzled
I got this email from my Aunt and it made me laugh so I thought I'd share with you all... :lol:

The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words. The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavoured mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question in an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.


The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are this year's winners:

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. ( that one got extra credit)
9. Karmageddon (n): Its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
10. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
15. Caterpallor (n.): The colour you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.